Those young men carrying Her Majesty's coffin must have been terrified.

[Minee]

I've never carried a coffin and imagine it must be an emotional and scary thing to do in normal circumstances, but imagine carrying the Queen. With the whole world watching too.

Hats off to them,

I don't think I have ever attended a funeral where the coffin was carried by family members. I have learnt from this thread that this seems to be something that happens quite often

I remember being cross when my grandmother died - we were one male short to carry the coffin so a funeral director was drafted in. I wasn’t allowed to even though I was young, strong and as tall as the men.

I like the Scottish custom whereby the coffin is brought in on a trolley but the family involvement is in lowering it into the grave. There are 8 cords and a definite hierarchy of who gets first second third cord etc. Traditionally it was just men but my wonderful MIL told us that she wanted all her children and grandchildren to have a cord.. There was a bit of sharing with partners but t was an immense honour and very moving to have all of us doing this one last service for her.

My family are Catholic I don't know wether it's a traditional thing ,but my dad definitely carried his mum.and dad's coffin along with his brothers and nephew and my mums brothers and nephews carried her mum and step dad coffins this was all 20 + years ago
But as i said up thread my uncles coffin was carried by his, sons , two grandchildren ,one of his daughter ,s and one of neices this was just a few weeks ago .

They do practice a lot with a weighted empty coffin and consider it an honour to carry the coffin of "the Boss". But yes,a lot of pressure. I know several people who are Archers who will be taking part tomorrow and even though they are hugely experienced with many many years military service,they are nervous.

I have no plans to carry any coffins. The undertakers will deal with all of that.

We are no longer living in the middle ages.

I don't mend my own cars or fit my own kitchens.

What is all this "consider it an honour" bollocks..

Yes pp are right the do practice a lot. A relative has done it. They would practice once a quarter I'm sure he said he's no longer posted there but a few of his friends where involved today.

He said they will be nervous but know exactly what to do.

Danny Baker tells a fantastic story about his dad carrying the coffin at his uncle's funeral. Basically, he didn't listen when the undertakers told him it would be heavy, and so when he shouldered his part of the load there was an audible 'fuuuucking hell'.

I don't think it matters why my husband resented it - he wasn't wrong to feel that way, and it wasn't an honour for him.

I really wouldn't want my children to feel they should be the ones to cart me from car to burner. This is the main reason I'll be having a direct cremation - I don't want anyone I love to feel they ought to be doing anything for an audience when they're grieving.

Here in Ireland the families always carry the coffin. It's tradition. It can be a mix of family neighbours or friends. I only remember one funeral where it was rolled as the daughters wanted to do it and didn't feel comfortable carrying it. According to DH they can be very heavy so he is always in awe at royal funerals where it's done so smoothly

If you view your relatives in the same way as a car or a kitchen that’s a shame.

My gran was only 61 when she passed my brother and make cousins carried her coffin aged from 13-17 it was hard for them but they wanted to do it

I've been to one funeral where family members carried the coffin. It's not a big deal whether family or funeral directors do tbh.

Today I was more concerned about the drivers in the cortege and the police motorcyclists riding in formation.

I thought the same about the driver of the hearse. Imagine fucking up and having some sort of bump. Or even stalling for that matter.

The fact there was a spare hearse showed they'd thought of everything.

@LubaLuca

Why wouldn’t he want to carry his nans coffin?

Goodness my husband carried his nans and it was a privilege to do so. I hope if I have grandsons they’ll be man enough to carry me.

It's only difficult if one of them is a different height.

They also do train extensively for it, they've probably carried a pretend dead queen 500 times before they get to the main event.

I thought that about the drivers, particularly at the slow bits through the villages and towns, they had to go slow enough not to bump into the one in front, breaking all at the same time, speeding up all at the same time, very difficult

He didn't want to. None of them did. It's not because he wasn't man enough, whatever that means.

Same here made. Our family have never carried a coffin. There's not enough youngsters for a start.

'man enough' 😂 wtf who thinks like this?!

@topcat2014 I actually take massive offensive at your rude and insensitive comments.

I considered it a massive honour to carry my Dad and felt strongly I didn't want a stranger doing it. It was a huge part of my grieving process.

I also appreciate others don't want to and that's fine too.

But there are ways of wording things without putting others down and coming across like a total arsehole.

In my family it’s considered an honour too.
I’ve never heard of anyone being resentful over carrying a grandparent but I can see if the relationship was bad why there may be resentment.

They probably would have felt very honoured too as it’s the Queen but it’s a massive responsibility, especially with the entire world watching.

So why didn’t he say no🙄…l my son carried his grandads coffin at 17…..he was proud to do it…..and I was proud of him

Christ, what on earth does that mean, are you out of the dark ages or something?

I know that in my mum's Scottish family it is usual for family (mainly, but not exclusively, the men) to carry the coffin. My dad's funeral was in the south of England and the funeral directors were quite worried about non-professional pallbearers but as it was mostly my mum's family doing it, they were fine. It was something they really wanted to do, but we wouldn't have insisted if they had not wanted to. My mum's brother was my dad's best friend and it was really moving.