Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Feeling low about money, not sure what to do

106 replies

Pofl · 03/09/2022 10:20

I know people are worse off so please don’t bite my head off.

I bought a house in June and was in a happy relationship which has since broken down. He’s moved out. This is leaving me with a huge mortgage of 900 a month and dc who is 6mo.

it’s not been amicable although I have tried. He’s not spoken about money and said he wants a solicitor to be in touch with me about that. He’s a high earner so maybe he’s worried I don’t know. Not that I was trying to claim all sorts I’m just worried now about money.

I feel stressed anyway as I know I could go via cms but he could just pay 40k straight until pension. So that would then make him worst case down to 60k. Although I suspect he’s had a pay rise recently to beyond 120k.

im just so worried. Even if he paid 400 a month I think i will have to lose my job as how would I pay for nursery down the line along with heating costs. I just feel sick. Barely slept for days now.

plese don’t suggest a lodger as it’s just not possible with the baby at the moment.

I went from a high earning job to now probably going to lose it.

OP posts:
Shiningstarr · 03/09/2022 19:53

cleanbreak2022 · 03/09/2022 19:38

Hi @Pofl

Sorry to read you are going through such an awful time.

I recently went through a separation and now left with a mortgage of £1500 per month and a two children 8&2. I have a similar salary.

Depending on what he wants for the house to settle (I'm guessing there's not huge equity if you only purchased in June) although you may have funded this home with a previous,

On a similar salary, I took over the mortgage and settled him. I have a child with a childminder (cheaper than nursery) for 4 days a week and my mum helps on the 5th. My eldest does after school club twice a week and I work condensed hours on the remaining two.

Your mortgage is £600 less than mine, if I can do it with two children, im sure you can! All is not lost!

First thing first, look at any financial leakage, any debt repayments you can clear with savings. Pay them off. Claim 25% discount on c/tax. Put in claim for CMS. Start the transfer of equity proceedings.

My ex earns £40k per year and pays me £570 per month for two children. Mortgage companies can consider this as an income as long as there's a solid record. Speed is of essence.

Then, start looking for childminders. September is a good time as children move on to school. You may have to return sooner than you'd like but needs must.

You can do it!

My little one was 15mos old when he left, 2 weeks before Christmas. I completed on 10th August!

Op has already said the house is in her name

touchedout2022 · 03/09/2022 20:08

pogostickplastique · 03/09/2022 14:52

Is this a wind up??

I think it is and I also remember reading an identical post a few weeks ago 🙄

I am sure the op posted an identical thread in relationships a few weeks ago

AprilRae91 · 03/09/2022 20:22

I’m not sure how you can be hard up on 70k (plus CMS) once mat leave ends?

Original poster
Pofl · 03/09/2022 20:23

Thank you. No it’s not a wind up, I’m just feeling v worried for the future as very alone xx

OP posts:
AprilRae91 · 03/09/2022 20:23

It’s embarrassing to post this when so many low income people are struggling tbh

NoMoreChubRub · 03/09/2022 20:50

Just go to cms. Dont delay. And if he purposely puts extra in a pension then they can do a variation. As my ex did this.

But fwiw our rent is 1000, our joint take home is 41k. No benefits except child benefits and 200pcm maintenance for eldest . By time childcare, rent, bills are paid. We have approx 500a month for food, clothes, fuel for my car. For 6 of us.
It is doable but just means not many luxuries

New posts on this thread. Refresh page