'Bring your whole self to work - what do you think?

[Lottapianos]

This is the latest trendy slogan in my workplace. I think it's about how no one should feel ashamed to share what they have going on in their lives, or to ask for help, or to share that they are struggling. Not a bad idea in principle I guess...

HOWEVER.... My colleagues are not my friends. Well a few are but you know what I mean. They're not my therapists either. I'm a private person - I chat to colleagues and I'm fairly sociable but I certainly don't let it all hang out emotionally. I have stuff going on in my life that I wouldn't dream of sharing widely at work. In the same way, I honestly don't want to hear the in

Ha!

My work is the opposite. Very much, “leave your problems at the door.”

Stupid phone! Sorry....

I don't want to hear all the ins and outs of my colleague's medical situation, or how the baby kept them up last night, or all the anxiety involved in their 5 year old starting school, or whatever. I absolutely don't bring my whole self to work, and I don't particularly want to have to deal with their 'whole selves' either!

Has this slogan reached your workplace? How do you feel about it / deal with it?

Well yeah, that's the other extreme, LightSide, and maybe not healthy either! How do you feel about it?

My work have encouraged this too and tbh I hate hearing about people's anxiety, their illnesses, their MH etc etc. It seems to have bought the mood of the whole organisation down, colleagues are encouraged to write posts and blog about their struggles. I don't like it.

I fucking hate this. Professional boundaries are SO important. I really hate the trend towards people being expected to give a shit about their colleague’s interests, hobbies or fucking ‘identities’.

Depends on the workplace - how much do you trust your colleagues? last place I worked I made the mistake of telling my manager about some MH issues in case it started affecting my work and heartily regretted it. Mostly my feeling is they're colleagues, not friends or relatives or therapists and they'll get my work self because my whole self isn't just someone who works here - there's a lot more to me than that.

I'm not bringing my whole self. I bring my whole work self.

If this means you can be open about your faith or sexual orientation, all good.
But professional boundaries need a bit of yourself still to be left at home! I try and bring a good version of myself to work 😂

My work has been banging on about this for years. I hate it. I don’t need or want to share my personal life with my colleagues nor do I want them to do that. There’s such a thing as professional boundaries and they are necessary.

Fuck that.

I far prefer them thinking of me as a vaguely competent and sentient human who smiles and happily provides help wherever it is needed.

They don't need to know I'm a dyed in the wool misanthrope who thinks that on the whole, it would be a good thing for the planet if humans became extinct.

And they certainly don't need to know that the reason I appear so calm is that, compared to the abuse I had as a child and the abuse I had as an adult, I really don't give a shit if the phone rings 5 times before being picked up instead of 4. It's not like I'm going to get a battering for not picking up on 1 ring, after all.

Does that mean I can wear pyjamas to work? My whole self despises suits.

If I brought my whole self to work I'd probably get the sack.

My whole self fucking hates work and everything associated with it, including all its colleagues.

I quite like using work as a distraction from problems elsewhere.

Ha ha. No one wants to see MY whole self it's not a pretty sight. 🤣

I can only say that it is fundamental to an employee’s dignity that any sharing of personal matters should be done only on their terms. Nobody should feel forced to share matters with people they may not trust, or with people who may not themselves be able to cope with such disclosures. Clumsy attempts at encouraging employees to open up can be damaging - managers must always be aware that power is not equally shared in work relationships and that showing one’s vulnerability can be reckless in some workplaces.

I get paid to do a job and to do it well, which I do. It doesn't take every ounce of myself to do so and nor should it.

I resent everything about that controlling phrase. The company paying me doesn't owe me, nor does it have a right to any part of me I choose to keep away from the workplace.

I don't like it.

I think your religion, sexuality, ethnicity etc are irrelevant to your job. If you have physical or mental health needs, you should be given reasonable adjustments.

It's very much part of the current D&I mantra.

I think it relates to protected characteristics. Many people in minoritised groups feel they cannot bring their whole self to work for example they may not feel they can share that they are in a same sex relationship or they may use a more ‘western’ nickname if they feel people will find it difficult to pronounce or spell their name. They may not feel they can bring food from their own culture due to comments being made about it.

They do not understand what they are asking here!! I do not want to bring my whole self to work, I just want to utilise the bits of me that get me through the day without getting sacked.

In fact my whole self would probably choose not to turn up in the first place

Most managers do not have the emotional intelligence to handle their employees 'whole self'.

I am no longer working (hurrah!) but I certainly didn't take my whole self to work. I am one of the world's great procrastinators and had to do my level best not to be at work. As I am mostly a truthful person, I always dreaded being asked at an interview what was my greates weakness, as the truthful answer was 'I am not a self-starter and need an imminent unbreakable deadline to get an important task started, never mind finished'. Fortunately nobody ever asked that question, so I didn't have to pretend to be a perfectionist, or similar.

The lines between work and not-work seem to be increasingly blurred. I would have hated that. I was fortunate that in my last job I could mostly put it right out of my mind when my working hours were over.

My work place bags on about this but I never took it to mean bringing personal problems with you. I took it to mean not feeling the need to hide a fundamental aspect of yourself, eg. Religion. But it throughly annoys me that they don't jsut say that because as the thread shows, 'bring your whole slef to work' can be taken to mean a million things. My boss once made the mistake of saying the phrase to me when we were talking about my disability and as I knew him well I laughed and told him if I were to do that he would have a line of people at his door making complaints and I would tell people to fuck off when they schedule a meeting just to agree what to discuss in a different meeting. He took it well and said 'well perhaps not your whole self then'

It's just the latest corporate bullshit.

Oh it droves me mad, every team meeting we are individually asked what we have been doing at the weekend, after work etc - my colleagues must assume my life's boring because I always reply with 'not much' ...... and then in monthly 1 to 1s im asked how are things in your home life ..... just feck off im not telling you 😂😂😂

I don't bring my whole self to any situation. I bring the bits that are relevant.

I do think that most companies would benefit from open discussions on likes and dislikes when it comes to product development though. I always used to have really constructive conversations by working with the guy who was my complete opposite - neither of us was right or wrong, we just needed to account for how customers might receive what we put out there. Got some great results from those kind of exercises.

That's the intent - that you get the benefit of different people, rather than the same old approaches.

Most places just make it about jazzy headlines and miss the point.

I can add to this that when one of the managers in the department I work with asked if everything was all right with me, and then wouldn’t let it rest, I felt extremely unsettled. Especially when she subsequently expressed ‘concern’ about the shape of my ankles. (No I don’t work for Miranda Priestly).

This has been kicking around for a while in my place but it is very much in relation to sexuality.

Personally I don't give a shit if you are gay / bi / pan sexual / whatever - I go to work to do my job and get paid. Not sure why we need the weekly email announcements about so and so's sexuality.