'Bring your whole self to work - what do you think?

[Lottapianos]

This is the latest trendy slogan in my workplace. I think it's about how no one should feel ashamed to share what they have going on in their lives, or to ask for help, or to share that they are struggling. Not a bad idea in principle I guess...

HOWEVER.... My colleagues are not my friends. Well a few are but you know what I mean. They're not my therapists either. I'm a private person - I chat to colleagues and I'm fairly sociable but I certainly don't let it all hang out emotionally. I have stuff going on in my life that I wouldn't dream of sharing widely at work. In the same way, I honestly don't want to hear the in

I mean, to be fair, that would barely qualify as a "self" because the term implies some kind of sentience/ consciousness.

No thank you. I like my colleagues and tell them about parts of my life I’m happy to share but on the other hand I also get pissed off when they ask me what I’m eating for lunch or what I’m listening to on my headphones.

I think it is a phrase for some (big 4, banks etc,) and I think the original intention was to be seen to encourage diversity (fair enough), and maybe different models of working. I also think it has probably back-fired a bit now as, post covid, they actually can't get people into the office as they are enjoying wfh and prioritising every bit of "being themselves".

My Trust uses that on Job adverts, I took it to mean that you can be yourself. It that I didn't need to slice my self in half for work. Not that you bring all your baggage with you! I laughed when I saw it, it's a silly statement.

I’m an employer. I don’t want your whole self at work. I want a professional person who gets on with their role to the best of their ability. I’m happy to be flexible when people need time off for things but I don’t want to know the ins and outs of your personal life, it’s irrelevant to me.

I worked somewhere that said this. The overall effect was that it wasted huge amounts of work time listening to an attention seeker going on and on about the chemsex orgies he attended at the weekend - properly XXX rated stuff, but no one dared shut him up in case they were considered homophobic. I can't really remember what he looked like, or his name, but I'll never forget his description of fisting someone when he was on acid. This was in the offices of a global bank which is a household name.

omg! I wouldn't be able for that.

No thank you. Who actually has the time for this nonsense at work anyway? Most organisations would be better off ensuring that workplaces are adequately staffed and people are paid properly.

My employer has this but it’s not regarding sharing everything that is going on in your life it’s about protected characteristics. When it comes to disability and emphasising how declaring this along with other protected characteristics are important to them. They want to send a positive message, reassuring and demonstrating to the wider workforce that it’s about ability where disability is concerned and that we are a richer workforce because of our diverse and inclusive makeup.

One of my close friends is an Indian Australian woman who is also a surgeon. She absolutely loathes the fact that she “ticks boxes” and refuses to go to any “women in surgery” or “women in medicine” events as she says it’s her ability that’s got her where she is, and she hates any reference to her sex or race in case people think she hasn’t solely arrived on merit.

Like the idea that businesses are saying “don’t worry, we won’t mind if you’re gay! Don’t worry about it, we’re accepting here!” as if it’s something that businesses have to “tolerate”. I can understand why people find it so offensive. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t want to work anywhere that advertised “we’re happy that women work here!” because I would think, we’ll why wouldn’t you be?

We have a bit of this. There has been a lot of sharing of some quite serious mental health issues on our staff chat board. My manager is very uncomfortable with this!! But more that she hoped people are getting appropriate support.

We're open about periods and menopause stuff as well.

If I brought my whole self to work I'd get the sack! I'm not the calm and measured professional I present as, I'm a disorganised mess. If I thought about the stuff I needed to do at home whilst I was at work I wouldn't have time to get any work done.

The problem with this is that it teaches people that they don't have to prioritise work and be productive. There are always exceptions to this but where would the line be drawn? Knowing too much about my colleagues makes me uncomfortable.

@hopeishere Maybe I'm just old at 35, or conditioned or something, but nothing short of waterboarding would induce me to discuss my periods at work.

Leave it at home. General chat about kids or hobbies is fine but the serious stuff is for friends and family - which may include one or two work colleagues but not the whole office.

Would love to see HR's reaction if bringing your whole self to work included support for the EDL, promoting extreme forms of Islam or a strong belief that biological males should not be allowed to play women's sport

My workplace has started this too, thankfully I don't work too often. I'm sick of people being too open- not just a grumble or talking too much, they openly discuss their sex lives, partner problems, financial worries, health etc. One colleague is very anxious and she's constantly asking our opinions on things she's anxious about. So exhausting. Work is for work, colleagues are there to get along with, not to bond with

We've got this at my place - with people talking about how heavy their periods are this month on our internal social media, their menopause symptoms in great detail (vaginal dryness and all), or talking about how they are asexual and don't want to have sex. I mean, great, but actually mate, I really don't need to know about that, can you just get the report I need so I can do my job please, thanks...

It's all well and good saying that people should feel comfortable to "bring their whole selves" but yes OP, it impacts everyone else who has to hear about it all when really I don't want to know. I don't know half this stuff about the people I choose to hang out with, so why I need to know about Sue-in-accounts' period clots is beyond me.

I recently had a very serious health scare. The working manager knew about it because I had to leave work. My line manager asked me about it. I told them I do not and will not discuss it.
I do not wish to ‘share’ this. Only dh knows.
I wish work would sod off with all the ‘team building’ nonsense too. I was asked what would help build morale, I told them straight, a decent pay rise. Fell on deaf ears.

It’s just a tick box exercise.
They don’t really care.

@Penguinsaregreat - these are very difficult and individual. A women in my team had a serious health problem and emailed me as to what it was - hospital treatable but requiring 2-3 weeks recovery. With her permission I informed the HR director and we left it at that everyone else was told she was "ill"

Oh yes I hate team building as well and also fucking diversity training

I do not want to bring my whole self to work, I just want to utilise the bits of me that get me through the day without getting sacked.

This.

I have close confidants at work who I feel I can trust with more personal information, but I don't trust that 'bring your whole self to work' won't come back to bite you later.

It’s bollix. What happens when the person who goes to chem sex orgies wants to discuss the details of the weekend with an ultra conservative Christian?

I don't know but if like to overhear that chat

Sorry but no. You’re there to work. And some private things aren’t appropriate to expose in a professional context. Would you be happy with a colleague wearing adult baby clothes because that’s their private fetish?

So….a majority of the population then?