'Bring your whole self to work - what do you think?

[Lottapianos]

This is the latest trendy slogan in my workplace. I think it's about how no one should feel ashamed to share what they have going on in their lives, or to ask for help, or to share that they are struggling. Not a bad idea in principle I guess...

HOWEVER.... My colleagues are not my friends. Well a few are but you know what I mean. They're not my therapists either. I'm a private person - I chat to colleagues and I'm fairly sociable but I certainly don't let it all hang out emotionally. I have stuff going on in my life that I wouldn't dream of sharing widely at work. In the same way, I honestly don't want to hear the in

It should be mandatory for all HR directors and the sort of bell ends who run diversity training and the like to read this thread - might open their eyes a bit😂

Isn’t this just HR whomping out? I mean - I worked with a rather unpleasant character who was an absolute letch. He used to hand around my team and leer over a particular colleague, talk about his visits to prostitutes, general creepy man stuff. We complained to HR and they did nothing - not even ‘have a little word’ with him.

that was his whole self - a creep.

@TomPinch
‘how bad things were in the 80’s’
I was working in the 80’s as an employee (freelance 1991 onwards)
compared to what I read with fascination here, they were….fabulous. Much less presenteeism , the reasonably frequent boozy lunch on expenses, lots of help for the very busy once they had completed the task ( ie dry cleaning for presentations, taxis). In return people worked hard and did good work ( if they didn’t bye bye).

That was in a creative industry. But friends who were GP’s and specialists, university lecturers, retail managers all agree that work in all those areas seems to be more demanding and less fulfilling.

as to the menstruation meetings, I would have just pretended to faint.

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen - working in the City late 80s early 90s it was standard to go for three or four pints on a Friday lunchtime. We worked hard though as well

Yes, it was almost as though you were adults and could regulate your own time.

'I wish work would sod off with all the ‘team building’ nonsense too'

God yes. Games and activities to build social connections are for children if you ask me. Adults should be able to manage it through chatting and, y'know, getting on with WORKING together.

I was stuck with something at work recently so I ran it past 2 colleagues and got some good advice that meant I was able to move forward with the problem. THAT'S team building as far as I'm concerned, not some ghastly 'sharing' activity or being forced to take part in the 'thank you' slot at the end of every team meeting agenda 🤦🏻‍♂️

Utter corporate bullshit. There are 2 people in my team of 4, renowned for excessive time off sick and no desire to work as a team, that use "Bring your whole self to work" and our "Mental Health" policy as a shield to protect them from any awkward questions around their absenteeism and shocking attitudes. "Bring none of yourself to work" in this case.

Hang on - wasn’t there a case recently when two men raised a complaint because a woman wandered through the office holding a sanitary towel (it want a used one or anything) because ‘feelz’?

Nope. Just come in, do your hours, then go home. I don't need to hear about whether you're gerbil is non-binary or that you like to wear leather in your spare time.

I keep my 'whole self' in a securely locked box in the loft. Sure as hell won't be bringing it to work!

Reading a very interesting book about Italian culture. The author observed that there you work to live. Their focus is on family and friends. No team building or seeing work as an important part of your identity or caring about work colleagues real life is outside work. He saw one man retire after years and he just walked out of the building no fuss <packs suitcase for Rome>

How are we defining ‘while self’ exactly? Where is the line?

My work won’t like my whole self. They really wouldn’t. I take my whole professional self to work - because I get paid to do so - buy my whole self really can’t be arsed, and would really like to tell some people what I think of them. And the clients too.

So glad I run my own one person business. I can't be doing with an excess of self indulgence. Just be cheerful, do your job, go home. (Major life crises such as bereavement excepted, of course.)

This! @Pacca You’re my kind of colleague!

I'm on minimum wage, they are lucky to get half of me...

most of the rest of me would be whinging about getting minimum wage😆

This is the mental health equivalent of wearing a belly top to the office. TMI. A young colleague once told me about her being groomed as a teen. Not the appropriate environment. I'm sorry that happened, but seek professional help. There is a term trauma dumping, l think. Work can be a good escape from all that stuff.

I'm a little bit torn on this subject. Instinctively I want my work to be for work and to maintain professional boundaries with a bit of laughter thrown in and general feeling of wishing each other well.

But the job is one that involves supporting people through difficult situations. So we spend quite a bit of time talking to people who are distressed, problem solving and helping process what's happening. Sometimes after an tough call, we need might need to debrief with each other or ask for ideas.

In that setting, it's difficult to see a colleague having a difficult time with something and not instinctively listen and offer support. I do care about their well-being. But sometimes if lots of people have lots going on, supporting colleagues could interfere with my productivity. Then I end up working at home to catch up.

It's funny until it happens.

we all know what happens there
the ultra conservative Christian listens politely because her views are now totally unacceptable and she can't bring them to the workplace.

I don't want to hear about either scenario in the workplace!

As someone who works for a large corporation, I highly doubt this concept extends to suppliers, agencies, etc.

Feels very tick box.

From what I can see it’s clients who stamp their little feet and demand to see companies policies and stats. I had to fill out a couple of forms for prospective clients and my did they wanted blood groups and inside leg measurements.

I think there was an advert recently (for a bank?) that had a woman saying that she loved not having to leave any of her identities at the door.

She was black, wearing African dress - yep, fine, obviously... And standing on the table dancing?

If anyone stood on a table and danced at any of my employers the BEST case scenario would be everyone thinking you were a twat who had brought their twat identity to work.

unless she was a floor trader… in all the places I’ve worked, floor trader were the ones who positively ‘brought their whole selves’ to work (but then they were earning their companies squillions so their antics were tolerated)

I agree. I know people say "oh well I should be able to talk about my weekend/holiday and talk about my same sex partner" but do you? Why is your weekend/holiday of any interest to me, whichever way you and your partner bat? One big advantage of not being in the office on Mondays is that you generally avoid the "did you have a nice weekend" conversations and Fridays you avoid the "any plans for the weekend" conversations!

I do think that most companies would benefit from open discussions on likes and dislikes when it comes to product development though

Agreed. I often sit wondering how a group of people in a meeting room or in a Teams call agreed on a particular product change or advert and can only surmise everyone is petrified to raise their head above the parapet. But that's not the same as going on about your weekend and your partner (of whatever gender and sexuality).

My work have this saying too,but I'm 100% sure they don't want me dragging all the shite I have to deal with into the workplace!!