'Bring your whole self to work - what do you think?

[Lottapianos]

This is the latest trendy slogan in my workplace. I think it's about how no one should feel ashamed to share what they have going on in their lives, or to ask for help, or to share that they are struggling. Not a bad idea in principle I guess...

HOWEVER.... My colleagues are not my friends. Well a few are but you know what I mean. They're not my therapists either. I'm a private person - I chat to colleagues and I'm fairly sociable but I certainly don't let it all hang out emotionally. I have stuff going on in my life that I wouldn't dream of sharing widely at work. In the same way, I honestly don't want to hear the in

Yeah, it's more lipservice.

I leave my whole self at home, thanks very much

workiskillingme

^^

Apt username for this thread!

My whole self would much rather be lounging under a palm tree on a tropical island and drinking pineapple daiquiri than at work listening to other people talking about their verrucas. Or is that verrucae?

I just left a Big 4 management consultancy and part of the reason is I felt increasingly drained by the cult of 'bring your whole self to work'.
In the end the ladies in my team were being encouraged to attend a webinar on 'fertility and the workplace', with everyone sharing about fertility struggles, the menopause, challenges of balancing work with family, baby loss etc. The to e was very much: if you don't attend you're not being progressive.
I'm childfree by choice and wouldn't DREAM of sharing that at work because it's noone's bloody business but mine.
My approach at work has always been to be a pretty vanilla character and it's served me well.
'Bring your whole self to work' is really just about breaking down all division between work and home so that you find yourself working longer hours, and nothing more.

'I'm childfree by choice and wouldn't DREAM of sharing that at work because it's noone's bloody business but mine.'

Good for you. I'm childfree too but it's a long complex story and I've never shared it with anyone at work. I wish more people would keep their personal business personal! Love the description 'vanilla character' 😊 - maintain the mystery!

I think I might know where your workplace is, and I’ve just applied for a job and been invited for an interview. I raised my eyebrows a bit at that part of the blurb/values.

I’m pretty sure they don’t want my whole self all the time 😂

Yeh they should clarify that they want your whole professional self. All of your attention. All of your focus. All of your passion. All of your ideas! All of your energy.

None of your juggling, cat jokes, pmt, passive aggressive silent treatments, drinking stories, cynicism, no drama when you lose your handbag....

Bring your whole robot self (with calm warmth)

Bring your whole robot self (with calm warmth)

Nailed it! 😅

I'm glad I don't work for the same company as the OP. I work with some very good people, who are excellent at their job and we don't drop each other in it or pursue hidden agendas. Still even with all that goodness they are work colleagues not friends.

NeverDropYourMooncup "They don't need to know I'm a dyed in the wool misanthrope who thinks that on the whole, it would be a good thing for the planet if humans became extinct."

i love you!

i accidentally my misanthropy slip one time, years ago. My boss looked at me in horror and said "but how do you get up in the morning feeling like that".

the "whole self" thing is awful.

Poor old Douglas Bader wouldn't have done very well then.

If I brought my whole self to work I would be sacked before lunchtime on day 1. The real me is opinionated, cynical, impatient anti-social & grumpy. I do not suffer fools at all. These characteristics don’t fit comfortably into today’s office culture so I bite my tongue. Frequently and hard.

My workplace gets quite enough of me in terms of time, expertise and commitment. I've had it up to here with frequent KiT meetings in which line managers are expected to ask intrusive and IMO inappropriate questions relating to personal issues and, particularly, mental well-being. I have no intention of inviting confidences. It puts line managers in a terrible position, too.

Then there's the recent Stonewall survey. They do not need private information about my sexual orientation, the way I choose to present myself to the world, or my personal beliefs. I couldn't be less interested in navel gazing or identity politics. That shit's private. And there's an increasing expectation that any and all such information will be divulged purely because someone's seen fit to ask for it.

Oversharing is an encroaching social malady in recent years and this lack of respect for staff privacy is an inevitable consequence.

'Bring your whole self to work': 🤮🤮🤮 No one cares.

That really isn't what it means - it's about being your authentic self - not feeling that you have to conform to some sort of majority expectation. Not that you should share all your personal dramas with your colleagues constantly. It's about inclusivity and respecting that people have different religions and traditions, care responsibilities and communities they are part of and they don't need to pretend those things don't exist in order to be 'professional'.

No one wants my authentic self in a workplace

also, I would really rather people left their politics, religion etc at home. Not expecting to hide anything, but I would really like to avoid discussions of...most things. I mostly work at home at the mo freelance but thinking to return to a permanent contract, this would put me off hugely.

my hobbies, care responsibilities, community are nothing to do with my work. Also, the cultural group I am in now is the kind that most people seem to find offensive i.e. how dare you think like a gammon, you're not even white.

If I was my authentic self at work I would ask my direct reports what the fuck they were playing at when they cocked something up unnecessarily AGAIN, rather than telling them it wasn't the end of the world but perhaps next time they could double check first.

Fortunately for my career and my colleagues I am pretty good at bringing my inauthentic self to work.

This is not representative of any religious conservatives that I know, either at work or outside work.

I know someone who had special training at their work - you aren’t supposed to ask your colleagues if they had a nice weekend/ birthday/ dinner last night / holiday etc (because some people don’t have nice weekends or family) or state your opinion on politics/Brexit etc (because you might upset someone) or even ask if they have a partner, or say ‘how are you?’ (which we all know isn’t actually a question anyway).

You also have to be very careful when even mentioning religion. Thank god they don’t have an office in Glasgow or your be banned from talking about football too.

However they hoot and trumpet their ‘fabulous rainbow’ family. And lie about the stonewall riots.

So a man can merrily announce that he enjoy wearing ladies undies to work but not that he voted for Brexit.

and this is a professional services company (with actual grown ups working there)

The issue with that is that many workplaces in the UK are set up to default favour white, often male 'norm' and it can be hard for people who do not conform to that to feel that they can be viewed as professional and respected if they are themselves and they have to conceal or obscure large parts of themselves. This creates an unequal workplace and puts additional pressure on people who are already disadvantaged.

Someone is going to push the boundaries and bring their whole nudist self to work.

Oh yes!

Well that would certainly be ‘non conforming’ eh?

I don’t want peoples whole selves - because this seems to focus on peoples sex lives these days… my old boss once told me about how he has slept with 3 (different) women in one day, and another about how he was picked up when out cruising and went for a jolly nice time on the common with some new friends he’d made (yes, it’s what you are thinking) and about a piercing he had (yes it’s where you are thinking).

Bringing my whole self to work would mean me unleashing the impatient, cynical grump that lurks inside of me (and who swears like a trooper) instead of the calm and polite persona that I seem to be known for at work. I find it much easier to have a professional persona and a real me; it allows the boundaries to be maintained and means I can separate work from home more easily, which is important in the role that I'm in.

I also wish some of my colleagues would bring less of their "whole selves" to work at times, as I've had to manage tears, office politics and toxic behaviour on more occasions than I think is necessary for the type of workplace that we're in.

BRB, telling the work mailing list for my somewhat authoritative and responsible job that I like getting blindfolded and handcuffed in bed.

Absolute bullshit. No one brings their whole self anywhere.

@Lottapianos

You ask ‘How do you feel about it?’ quite a lot…

Reminds me of a journalist!! So odd.