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Original poster

Don't know why I'm asking when deep down I know I'm not pregnant, but...

94 replies

NotVeryHopefulBeenHereB4 · 30/08/2022 21:24

I am 10 dpo. I know, I know why the fuck did I test this early.

I know CB have a rep for giving false positives.

I know this time will not be different to any of the other times in the past 5 years.

I know my period will come within the next few days.

I know I'm probably just seeing things.

I know if there is anything showing up on the tests they are just evaps/indents (though the "lines" did appear within the first min)

I know I'm setting myself up for failure and misery and heartbreak again.

But... can you see anything?

Don't know why I'm asking when deep down I know I'm not pregnant, but...
OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 31/08/2022 22:50

If we're reading this thread, chances are we've been there so we understand, whether or not we ever got lucky.

I do think three days before you're due is early to test. I always waited until my period was at least a couple of days late. I understand the need, but it was just so crazy making, and if you test too early the negatives aren't reliable so you don't get an answer anyway.

If it's been five years, you should see the doctor and get some tests done (apologies if you have but you don't mention it). There are so many aids to fertility and regular periods are a hopeful sign.

LondonLovie · 31/08/2022 23:02

Was thinking about your OP. Let us know how you get on.

Original poster
NotVeryHopefulBeenHereB4 · 31/08/2022 23:10

ReneBumsWombats · 31/08/2022 22:50

If we're reading this thread, chances are we've been there so we understand, whether or not we ever got lucky.

I do think three days before you're due is early to test. I always waited until my period was at least a couple of days late. I understand the need, but it was just so crazy making, and if you test too early the negatives aren't reliable so you don't get an answer anyway.

If it's been five years, you should see the doctor and get some tests done (apologies if you have but you don't mention it). There are so many aids to fertility and regular periods are a hopeful sign.

Yeah, it's ridiculously early. I guess because lots of these tests claim to be sensitive and "test up to 6 days before a missed period" it makes me think if did get pregnant it would show up. But I know it's not always the case.

As for seeing the doctor, I did go to see her in early 2019. She ran a few tests and discovered I had an under active thyroid and prescribed me thyroxine for it. Said she wanted to give the tablets time to work as hypothyroidism can affect fertility.

Then covid hit and I finally got to see her again last year. She told me I needed to lose weight before she would refer me to infertility. I have stones to lose and I just can't do it. I try so hard and keep failing, i can't get a handle on it. So I haven't been back and I am on my own with things.

I know it's my own fault. That's why I've been keeping things to myself over the years cause im so embarrassed and feel like I am not deserving of help.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
thesunwillout · 01/09/2022 06:33

Op don't be hard on yourself you certainly sound worthy of help to me.

Like a previous poster said many of us are on this thread because in one way or an another we've been where you are.

I really hope you get what you deserve. Xx

70billionthnamechange · 01/09/2022 06:41

I'm so sorry, that's such a long time. I was so impatient and waited only 9 months so no idea how you've not gone mad! It will happen for you. I really thought there were lines there so I'm pissed off on your behalf but still not 100% it's BPN. Good luck with everything

ReneBumsWombats · 01/09/2022 07:18

NotVeryHopefulBeenHereB4 · 31/08/2022 23:10

Yeah, it's ridiculously early. I guess because lots of these tests claim to be sensitive and "test up to 6 days before a missed period" it makes me think if did get pregnant it would show up. But I know it's not always the case.

As for seeing the doctor, I did go to see her in early 2019. She ran a few tests and discovered I had an under active thyroid and prescribed me thyroxine for it. Said she wanted to give the tablets time to work as hypothyroidism can affect fertility.

Then covid hit and I finally got to see her again last year. She told me I needed to lose weight before she would refer me to infertility. I have stones to lose and I just can't do it. I try so hard and keep failing, i can't get a handle on it. So I haven't been back and I am on my own with things.

I know it's my own fault. That's why I've been keeping things to myself over the years cause im so embarrassed and feel like I am not deserving of help.

Show quote history

Oh OP, you poor thing.

Weight loss is always recommended for fertility if you have a high BMI because it's non-intrusive and theoretically "easy", and it does improve your chances, but of course it isn't that simple in real life. But it also doesn't mean you do or don't deserve anything. Your weight is a medical issue, not a moral one, and if it were easy to lose and maintain, there wouldn't be a jillion pound global diet industry.

Is there any chance of going private? And have you tried weight loss groups? You say you keep it to yourself but a lot of people find them very supportive and helpful.

sintrawest · 01/09/2022 07:26

Please don’t be so hard on yourself love Flowersgood luck

itsgettingweird · 01/09/2022 07:39

Please don't be hard on yourself.

I was in hospital recently after a hysterectomy and the lady opposite had just had a gastric band fitted due to not being able to lose weight and it affecting her fertility.

Would you feel comfortable trying another GP? It's hard to lose weight on thyroid drugs because although they activate the thyroid again it's artificial and the weight gain is caused by it being under active in the first place.

But please don't allow yourself to keep feeling as you do. You deserve help and support and it's fine to start threads to wallow if you need to.

We are here to hand hold and support Flowers

ScamelaAnderson · 01/09/2022 07:52

Go back and see your GP
You need 2 lots of advice about weight loss and getting pregnant

User287264 · 01/09/2022 08:01

I'm sorry op, that's a tough run of luck Flowers

Original poster
NotVeryHopefulBeenHereB4 · 01/09/2022 11:06

Thanks for all the replies.

As predicted, I started bleeding this morning. My period got here before the FRs even did. I knew it was coming. Knew this month would be the same as the last 60 before it.

I'm OK. I'm not going to cry. I'm too used to this scenario for it to be anything other than entirely expected. I didn't even let my DH know I'd taken any tests or ordered any. No point giving him hope that was never going to be there. Just me alone in my bathroom with you guys.

I think its the end of the ttc road for us though. I think nothing happening in 5 years is a clear sign I'm not meant to be a mum. And I can't manage to lose weight or keep it off permanently, it always ends up going back on. So, there's no medical help available for us. I may deserve this but my DH does not.

So that's that really. Thank you for keeping me company while the inevitable happened. I wish I had a beautiful, happy ending for you. Its over now though.

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 01/09/2022 11:15

Obviously you don't need to answer this, OP, but how old are you and how much do you have to lose? Do you have to get down to a BMI of under 25 or is there a little wiggle room? If it's at all possible to go private, you won't be restricted by your BMI, although healthy weight can help your chances.

rubysparkles1 · 01/09/2022 11:16

@NotVeryHopefulBeenHereB4 I’m sorry you’re bleeding :( I tested at 13dpo and had a faint pink bfp. 2 days later I started bleeding very heavily. The flow was incredibly heavy and painful that I ended up in A&E. In future I will wait until 16dpo to test :(

YelloCar · 01/09/2022 12:29

I’m so sorry @NotVeryHopefulBeenHereB4 the heartache is just awful. Have you had any kind of fertility testing? We weren’t eligible for NHS treatment so used Access Fertility to help with private funding instead (which was suggested by a mumsnetter I’ll always be grateful to). That might be an option for you.

Twizbe · 01/09/2022 12:40

Infertility sucks big time. It took us years to get DS.

I can really recommend Noom for weight loss if you want to try it. It really gets to the nub of the issue for you.

numberthirtytwowindsorgardens · 01/09/2022 13:04

I'm so sorry, OP. You don't deserve this. Flowers Wishing you great happiness in the future, whatever that looks like.

SweepItUnderTheCarpet · 01/09/2022 14:35

Sorry to hear that OP. 🌺🌸🌼

Libre55 · 01/09/2022 16:33

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Would you like a 1:1 diet buddy that you talk to on a daily basis, and would that motivate you? Events like this are disastrous for keep on the straight and narrow with your diet.

cathythegreat · 02/09/2022 23:00

Op I'm not trying to conceive but is it worth considering saxenda to aid weight loss?
It's been a great help to me- just gave me the kick start I needed

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