Trapped Toddler Parents: Surviving the summer

[Motherofmonsters]

Hi,

New thread for toddler support, ideas and general rants!

@AliasGrape thanks! Just want to get on with my life and move into new place for a fresh start now :)

Sorry to hear everyones having a really hard time. Me and DH are not getting on at the moment, the business is drowning and I can't help as the kids are drowning me and it's just causing clashes and resentment. Theres literally nothing that is correct in our lives at the moment. The house is a mess, the hoover has just broken and the cat will not stop peeing everywhere. Nothing medically wrong with her, just stressed...

The kids were running around not listening etc, I tried seperating them and slipped down the stairs and rolled on my foot. It's so painful! I've rung 111 and they said it's just happened and they won't look at it until Friday.

Sorry to hear that @Stayingstrongish, hope you get moved soon and start a fab new chapter.

@Motherofmonsters that is really hard. And your foot on top of everything! Hope it’s not broken and the pain goes away.

I’m sat supervising DS1 in the bath. I don’t even remember when I posted or what was going on last time! Sleep has gotten marginally better now and with that has everything else, so I’m not wanting to strangle the DC quite as often and I’m slightly more positive too. Trying to figure out what rest and self care looks like to me, and how to change my mindset so I feel I have capacity for these things in the evenings and don’t instead feel so drained that I just sit and stare at my phone all evening.

Theres lots of rain forecast here this week so I’m trying to come up with things to do. We forgot to carve our pumpkin so did that tonight, DS1 thought spooning out the seeds was great fun. Think I will try Playdoh tomorrow and maybe some kinetic sand. Trick is to set it up before pick up so it’s there and attractive because if I ask him if he wants to do anything it’s always “no”…

Hope everyone gets some well deserved rest tonight.

I'm glad you've had a bit more sleep @squishymamma and are feeling a bit more positive. Self care is a hard one isnt it!

My foot is absolute agony I can still hobble about on it though. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow as I know it's going to be worse.

@Stayingstrongish ahh, that must have been really, really difficult and you a such a strong woman for carrying on for your DC and making a better life for them and you. I wish you good luck and sending you positive wishes. You can do it!

@Motherofmonsters you poor thing, has any bruising come out yet? Can you get some ice on it and perhaps lie or sot with it elevated on a pillow? Ibuprofen should help as it's anti-inflammatory. Hope you manage some sleep.

@squishymamma I know what you mean, it's not like we can all have a spa experience every evening which is what we need after a day with the kids. I'm doing well if I have a bath!! A bit of a pamper session helps me, but I'm looking to get back into reading and I love art and crafts but it's all time limited really isn't it ? I guess trying to get enough sleep.

Hope everyone sleeps well.

How is everyone doing?

Sleep has marginally improved here so we are all a little brighter. DH went back to work after paternity leave on Weds and is very glad to be back, and I am thriving on having a routine again! Just need to work on being better at going to bed.

DS1 is repeating loads of words after us and really trying to communicate but so much of it is still totally not understandable to us. Is this normal? Like I’ll ask him to say “ketchup” and he’ll say something like “kench-such” so marginally related but also not something I’d understand if I hadn’t just asked him to say the word. Lots of blankly staring at him and feeling bad because he’s really trying and we just have no clue!!

Morning,

We were at the park 9.15! We haven't been anywhere for a couple days because of my foot but had to get out today. It's still really sore and I've got an impressive bruise but I don't think anything drastic has happened to it.

Glad you've got a bit more sleep @squishymamma I wouldn't worry he's trying to say words and sounds like he understands what you're saying. How old is he now?

Just picked up DD from nursery and had the dreaded, she's had a sleep today. Apparently she was absolutely exhausted and was melting down and not functioning so they had to. Let's see how bedtime goes

@Motherofmonsters hope your foot feels better very soon. Has DD settled asleep?

@squishymamma all sounds normal for his speech to me!

Ds1 has been off school for the last two days with a virus. Wednesday night I was up all night with him because he had this awful croup like cough but the Dr said it's not croup as he's a bit old for it (5). He's coughing next to me now trying to go asleep so I think it's gong to be another dire night. We've got some fireworks to set off in the garden tomorrow night and will get some hot chocolate and marshmallows.

Hope everyone sleeps well.

I’ve forgotten how old your DS is @squishymamma - it does sound normal to me though. I remember worrying about DD’s speech which, whilst still in line with milestones, didn’t seem to be anywhere near some other toddlers her age. Then she started saying lots, but seemingly only I could understand her. She’s a lot clearer now and other people are like ‘wow, isn’t her speech good, she’s really come on’ because they’re actually starting to understand what she’s on about too 😂

Hope your foot is feeling better @Motherofmonsters

Poor DS and poor you @Chocolatetrifle Hope last night was a better night and that your DS is on the mend.

We’re ok - things been better with DH this week, though mostly because I just can’t be bothered getting into the conversation that I know we need to have. It’s kind of been spun as it all happened because I was so tired I was acting irrationally, and whilst that was part of it, there’s some underlying stuff too we probably need to unpick but I’ve not got the energy frankly. We’re getting on better anyway, and planning a child free day out soon - it’s a start.

Had a busy week with DD. She’s been coughing a lot at night (was sick Monday night with it) but seemingly fine in the day so done the usual toddler groups/ park/ swimming etc (was in two minds about the swimming but I’ve paid £50+ for lessons recently of which we manage to go once).

Yesterday we did tiny talk, then a toddler group my naighbour’s mum runs, park on way home, lunch/ nap and then met a friend at soft play. DD actually slept fairly well last night so seems like that’s the level of tiring her out we need to aim for.

Going to a fireworks display later with the grandparents and cousins, plus one of DD’s little friends will be there. Debating making some Parkin in a bit.

Thanks for all the reassurance! He’s 3 in February so talking fairly late but nursery isn’t worried so I guess I shouldn’t be either!

Hope DD gets better soon @AliasGrape, sounds like a nice day planned. I’ve totally forgotten it’s Bonfire Night as they (obviously) don’t celebrate it here. Now I want parkin too!

How was DD last night @Motherofmonsters? And how’s the foot?

Hope DS1 is feeling better today @Chocolatetrifle and that you all enjoy the fireworks.

We’re having a bit of a lazy day here, have let DS1 sit and watch YouTube most of the morning while we do the online shop. DS2 is just whiny and cranky a lot of the time because he’s still struggling with sleep. Was up a lot last night.

We want to do family stuff on Saturdays but apart from playgrounds and parks I have no idea what to do with an almost 3 year old and almost 1 year old that’s cheap/free and outside…so if you have any ideas let me know! Today we’ll go for a walk and pick up some bits from the shop that we need before the online one is delivered but nothing more exciting planned. Our nursery is having a clothes sale but DH told them we weren’t coming (we’re on the nursery version of the PTA or whatever it’s called) so no chance of popping in there then…

Hope everyone has a good day!

Hi folks how has your Monday gone?

We haf a quiet weekend but did the fireworks which the boys enjoyed. Yesterday I was the hormonal woman from hell, seriously I turn into another person for about 5 days every month. DH and I fell out and I seemed to moan about everything and today I'm completely fine!
Today was back to school for ds1 and he is lots better now thank you.
How is everyone?

Hello,

Odd day here, I messed something up with a customer yesterday and DH got the rage about it and then I basically had a breakdown with all the crap that's been going on lately. Think I scared DH as I don't think he realised how much I'm struggling, my statement of I would drive off a bridge but i'ld probably do it wrong and it not being a joke didn't help.

Today was a bit awkward in the morning not helped by DS being a total dick. The day did improve though, DS calmed down and we did some colouring/Lego together. DS managed to not get sent home from his 2 hours of school so I bought some food and watched Supernatural, literally did nothing else in those 2hours. DD was at nursery and had a good time.

I'm glad your DS is feeling better @Chocolatetrifle. Having a period is a menace sometimes (pretty much all the time)

@Motherofmonsters sorry to hear that - hope your DH learns from this and doesn’t have a go at you next time. Everyone makes mistakes after all, it might be him next time.

Oh @Motherofmonsters I’m sorry to hear about that. I hope your DH learns from that, and maybe realises you need a bit more support at the moment too. Things sound really tough for you at the moment, you absolutely deserved your 2 hour supernatural session and I think you should do the same again if you can today or some other point this week!

We had a nice enough weekend.

I made the Parkin with DD on Saturday which turned out lovely. I also tried a ‘fireworks in a jar’ experiment I’d seen the CBeebies account post on Instagram, which didn’t bloody work and we just ended up with brown coloured water in a jar. Don’t think DD minded though.

Slightly worried I’ve traumatised her for life taking her to the firework display - she’s woken up every day since just repeating ‘I don’t like the bangs’. We only stayed for the children’s ones which weren’t loud, but the adult ones started as we were leaving/ walking the bloody miles to where we had parked, and they were unbelievably loud. I had to carry a very upset DD all the way to the car. She’d outright refused ear defenders but did eventually manage to get them on her and then she was ok, wish I’d insisted froM the start really. I KNEW she wasn’t good with noise, I’m absolutely kicking myself for thinking the firework display would be a good idea in the first place.

@AliasGrape ah try not to worry, your DD will probably love them next year. Sometimes it just takes a few experiences of them and for them to be a little bit older, even by a year to like something. We took ds1 to see Santa when he was one and all we have are photos of him screaming and crying and he couldn't look at anyone with a beard for a year. We felt awful. The next year he was fine!

@Motherofmonsters oh no, are you ok? Hope you feel a bit better today. Sometimes it just takes something to trigger spilling out everything that you've been coping with. We can only put it with so much and you've had a lot going on for ages now with Ds at school etc. Hope you feel a bit better.

Thank you! DH doesn't usually get like it but he's also drowning. He's drowning in the work side and I'm drowning in the life side. I'm not supporting him and he's not supporting me, hopefully it'll get better.

DD woke up 11pm- 1am and DS woke up at 4am and didn't go back to sleep. I've rung school and said there's no point in him going in as it's not going to end well. I'm going to try and not have too much screens today but won't be as strict as I usually am in the week.

Don't worry @AliasGrape she'll be okay

Hello everyone,

Sorry to hear you and DH are drowning @Motherofmonsters. Hopefully this period will pass soon. Sometimes it’s just about surviving the rough patch!

@AliasGrape ah don’t worry about it. I think a lot of kids are very similar! I hated fireworks until I was like 17, the loud bangs always set me on edge. But I don’t think I’m scarred by it! :)

@Chocolatetrifle i know what you mean about the hormones, I just get really depressed for a few days then I’m all happy again. Seriously so strange.

We've had a good few days, very lazy weekend then into the craziness of the usual routine yesterday and today. Today especially as I was on both drop up and pick up plus a full day of work. I’m really struggling to know what to do with DS2 for fun. He’s 11 months old ish, and all he does is complain or try to grab DS1 and take his toys. I’ve tried the toys I used with DS1 at the same age but he’s just not interested. Did those of you with multiple DC find the same?

@squishymamma I’m trying to remember what I did with my second child at 11 months! She’s only two now but it’s still all such a blur..

I think she liked books, so we spent a lot of time reading together while her big brother played in the background. Bubbles was always a winner. Sometimes I would blow them out of the bedroom window for her and we’d watch where they went.

There was a lot of pushing cars about too from what I remember, as they both enjoyed that. Also inevitably fighting and snatching of toys. Have got to the stage now at nearly three where she will voluntarily hand a toy back to her brother when asked, which feela
like a miracle!

Thanks @Stayingstrongish some good ideas there!

I’m currently in full-blown panic mode as we got a message from nursery to say norovirus is going round. As you all probably know I have a phobia of vomit so I’m not coping very well. Couldn’t eat any tea and am really on edge. Poor DH is stuck doing everything, and I don’t think I’ll be sleeping well tonight!

But other than that everything is good here. Just the usual nursery and then making it to bedtime. There’s been a lot of tv this week and yesterday I made the mistake of letting DS1 watch YouTube so he was in a horrible mood when we took it off him and refused to eat any tea, but we managed in the end.

This weekend one of DS2’s “friends” turns 1 so we’re hopefully going there if we don’t get struck down by noro. Anyone else got any plans?

How’s everyone’s weekend been?
Mine has been a bit rubbish really. Well not all bad - we had a nice day Friday with my sister, stayed for DD to have tea with her cousins and then she fell asleep on way home about 7ish and although she woke up as I did the transfer from car, she went straight back to sleep and I got to enjoy having the tv to myself, and actually just reading with the radio in the background, as DH was out.

Then he bloody got home - pissed as a fart and he went straight to bed, only to get up and throw up EVERYWHERE. It was gross, he kept telling me to go back to bed and he would sort it but frankly he was incapable and I couldn’t leave it in case DD needed to get up in the night (or I did) - we have a tiny house with one bathroom and a teeny square of landing and there was sick all over it. Mercifully DD stayed asleep whilst I was dealing with it. I was absolutely fuming and he was told in no uncertain terms what I thought of having to deal with that and how on earth he got into that state.

He goes out very very rarely, and like a bloody idiot he didn’t eat prior, so that’s how he ended up in a state. He’s suitably contrite but I thought having to get up the next morning early feeling like death as we had someone coming to give us a quote for windows in that room, and then my relative (electrician) coming to fit some new electric sockets served him right. Unfortunately relative made a terrible mess of the walls, not realising how paper thin they are - and actually drilled right through to the other side so we now have holes on the other side of that wall and the whole thing needs replastering. He’s great and competent usually just an unfortunate fuck up and we will sort it, but a pain in the arse.

DH then borrowed his mums carpet cleaner and sorted the landing carpet, plus gave the bathroom and kitchen a thorough clean whilst I took DD for a walk to the park and to have a look at a local shop window who have just put up their Christmas display and it’s always amazing and retro and a bit magical.

I’m having a really rotten period too. DH got up with DD this morning and has taken her out for the day so I can chill out a bit. Had a lie in, put a stew in the oven, been reading and watching task master. I have done a couple of loads of washing too so not completely lazy but the peace has been blissful. DH has slightly redeemed himself.

@AliasGrape wow what a weekend! Impressed he broke out the carpet cleaner though, he must have really been feeling bad.

Our weekend has been alright, though DH and DS2 have not been in great form it has only been a cold and not the dreaded stomach bug. I’m so relieved but also know our luck won’t hold forever!

DS1 and I went to a birthday party today, that DH and DS2 should also have been at but they were too ill. He had a proper tantrum when I broke his hot dog in half and everyone stared…he is quite dramatic but surely tantrums over random stuff is normal? He didn’t hit anything or flop on the floor, but did scream and cry and was clearly very frustrated.

Anyway, it was in general a nice time and lovely to have some 1-on-1 time with him. Don’t get that a lot now DS2 is around!

Hi everyone, , hope everyone is ok. Ive been quiet because weve had another weekend of illnesses. Ds1 was at the walk in centre yesterday as his tonsilitis hadn't cleared up. We got there at 7.30 and were first in the queue of 30 people. Can't fault the staff, they are brilliant but the system is just so strained at the moment. dS2 has an awful cough still. Hes woken a few times already crying so im hoping this is not a sign of the night to come. DH has gone to bed shivering. Happy days.

Hello!

It has gotten quiet on this thread hasn’t it. Sorry to hear you’ve all been ill again @Chocolatetrifle, how is everyone doing now?

Today I kept DS2 home from nursery and had a quality time day with him. We played a lot, went to the library and generally did what he wanted to do (which was not very complicated as he’s only 11 months!). He seemed to love it. Planning to do the same with DS1 either this Friday or the next.

DS1 was in fine form today, super happy and jumping around. Until I went to a works night out at a comedy club when he apparently got all moody and sad. He’s so attached to me it’s unreal and I don’t know how to change it!

Hope everyone gets a good sleep!

Morning all,

Sorry to hear you’ve all been ill @Chocolatetrifle How are you all feeling today?

I know what you mean about the clinginess @squishymamma DD loves her dad but only ever really wants me to do things for her. My hellish period is ongoing and I just needed 5 mins to sort myself out in peace this morning and so DH, who happens to be working from home this morning, was trying to take DD downstairs for breakfast but it just results in tantrums and her hammering on the door shouting ‘PLEASE mummy do it, mummy you wanna come too PLEEEAAASE’. Same if he takes her to the childminder or heaven forbid tries to put her to bed. Frustrating for me and demoralising for him.

Were plodding on ok this week, sleep has gone a bit off again but not as bad as it was. Twice already this week I’ve gone up to put her to bed and ended up falling asleep before her and not coming back downstairs. I did need the extra though and feel better for it.

Yesterday toddler group and then library, out on scooter in the afternoon which she seemed to really like. Might get her a new one for Christmas actually, the one we have is just a freebie someone was chucking out and is all faded and rusty.

Today we have artventurers and later this afternoon it’s swimming - I’ve already got a sinking feeling about going. She hates it and it feels like a waste of time and money at the moment. Debating knocking it on the head till she’s 3. It’s my night ‘off’ tonight - going to my friends for tea and can’t wait haha.