'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

Also another comments “ bf kids wake up in the night much more than ff babies “

Just to quote:
The rate of any breastfeeding at six weeks was 55% (rising from 48% in 2005), while at six months it was 34% (rising from 25% in 2005). These improvements coincided with a marked increase in engagement with the Baby Friendly Initiative.

these could be babies who are mix fed, or simply babies that had a bottle of formula in the hospital and nothing since, or anything in between.

That does seem true. The vast majority of ‘no sleep, I’m exhausted’ threads on here are by breastfeeding mums.

What happened, Britney? You’ve posted so many sly digs on here, but this is bizarre - a mum who has a break from her baby may as well have used a surrogate? I mean I’m actually laughing, it’s so ridiculous.

Are you comparing going out for a drink when you have a small baby to surrogacy?
Wow- that's a new low.

Isn't it funny how low the bar can be by which people will label women militants and fundamentalist?

Only if you take those words out of context. But many people on this thread have explained exactly why it came across that way to them.

Some people are so evangelical about proclaiming that 'Breast is best' that they can't see that it is sometimes not best for those involved. It isn't about 'trying to improve the nation's health' when it becomes that extreme, it's about forcing the message on people who have already heard it many times.

'Breast is best' is easy to take as 'gospel' unless given a context, same as when people say 'The Bible says X' and make judgements without looking at individual situations and circumstances.

I wasn't able to breast feed at all due to a breast reduction I had years ago where my nipples were removed as part of the procedure and then stitched back on. No amount of telling this to the midwife stopped her from asking me to try?! I never leaked a single drop.. it was impossible. Still feel guilt though. (I know some people can breast feed after a reduction but I wasn't)

Sorry but that’s basically what I was alluding to
having a choice which an ebf mother doesn’t

it’s interesting though that you have framed all the things you didn’t have to do as inherently negative

Nah I didn't mean she may as well have used a surrogate.

I meant the desire to outsource will eventually mean this becomes the norm.

Just look at how many have said they formula fed so that their partners could help out. It's not the way we are designed, unfortunately. If my dh had milk, trust me I'd share the job!

Yes, my poor deprived 2 week old, cuddled up with her father, whilst I had a break for a 3 hours. I guess I may as well have just not bothered coming back, as those 3 hours would have irreparably broken our bond...

Get a grip.
And then maybe another grip.
And then use it to hold your head and give it a wobble.

Will it really? If surrogacy was ‘the norm’ then there wouldn’t be enough surrogates - at most you would have half the population using surrogates and half the population being surrogates. So what you’ve stated isn’t just absurdly laughable, it’s actually impossible.

@Babyboomtastic yeah I do feel sorry for them. At 2 weeks old come off it, you couldn't pay me to leave a baby that small.

@britneyisfree, my post has nothing to do with whether or not people who breastfeed should feel proud - I can’t see how you got that from my post.

A previous poster talked about people choosing to feel hurt - I feel this denigrates the very real hurt that people like me felt and feel. It’s like saying I ‘chose’ to be depressed.

@Wouldloveanother only those with the means to afford it.

It'll be something for improvised women to do.

30+ years ago only the rich and famous got fillers, Botox, boobs etc. now half the country are at it. These things filter down and so will surrogacy.

I hope to be proven wrong but pretty sure I read a thread the other day about tons of babies being left in Ukraine when lockdown hit as all their 'mums' couldn't come and get them.

Is that not a sign of the times?

Sharing the nights is also an absolute perk for the baby!

Rather than having a mother who is exhausted, barely sleeping, struggling to find the energy etc, she had a mother who was relatively well rested. From being both mothers (the tired one to my bf child), I know I'm a better mother when rested.

There was more energy, more singing, more doing fun things, more conversation, more stimulation. AND she got to spend extra quality tine with her other parent.

I may have spent less physical time with her, but the tine we had was much better quality because I wasn't in a sleep deprived haze.

But why is sharing all aspects of parenting with your partner a bad thing? That's what felt natural to us.

I absolutely saw that as a huge positive FF.

To suggest that is 'outsourcing' or to compare it to surrogacy is ridiculous.

@Babyboomtastic

The biggest perk for a newborn is it's mother. Daddy time is very very important too but in those early days of attachment it doesn't come close no matter how good it sounds to you when you sell it to yourself.

Nobody asked to you to. Others feel comfortable leaving a baby with their other parent. Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't make it wrong.

batshit 😂

you’re going to be bitterly disappointed when you realise your ‘approach’ makes diddly squat difference in the long run.

@brookstar it's not bad it's just not natural to share. Our bodies designated the mother to bear and feed the child. Dad can do everything else.

I rarely ever changed my newborns nappy as daddy was on the job. He was able to do that and it was great. I had oversupply and let him try the bottle once but none of us liked it. Bloody plastic fake tit in her mouth was unnecessary and unappealing.

I have a relative who had to ff because she had inverted nipples. That I can understand but just doing it so you can share the job.... meh

So what is ‘daddy time’ in your very exacting parenting method?

theres only one ‘bloody plastic fake tit’ around here, and it ain’t Tommee Tippee…

I'm sorry that I wasnt sat round crying, in a sleep deprived haze 🙄

You may have not gone out, but we are different people, shockingly...

At 2 weeks, I was out every day with my baby, seeing friends, out to restaurants, shopping, mostly with my baby cuddled upto me (or my husband) in a sling.

Some evenings I went out with baby in the sling. Occasionally I went out alone.

I felt great, and I loved every moment. I certainly dont feel bad for a few hours where my baby was perfectly content with her other, equal parent.

Dont be absolutely ridiculous.
And maybe get that grip 😂

It already has @Wouldloveanother

My child has a secure attachment and never ever ever cries when I leave her because she knows I'll be back.

She settled on her first day at nursery with no issues whatsoever and has a wonderful day and returns to me filled with glee. So yeah it makes a difference... I don't have an anxious toddler who is constantly worried and looking for me so there you go 😘

So did mine 😊 her nursery report called her ‘an extremely confident and happy little girl’.

how do you explain that one then? Given I abandoned her at 3 weeks old to go to a book signing at my local Waterstones? 😂