'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

But "breast is marginally better when you consider results at a population level but it will make no noticeable difference to your child nor will it materially impact their future prospects" doesn't have the same ring to it.

@Lockheart Gah, I wish they'd consider it.

It really really does.

FFS No one forces you to breastfeed. If you don't want to, just say no. Aka Zammo.

I know that caring for a small baby is very time consuming but surely that applies however you feed them?

You would think so. I certainly spent as much time with my formula fed child as my breastfed children. And it would be very insulting to assume otherwise, surely?

No. Babies often cluster feed which bottle feed babies do not do as they are limited to how much they can have.

Breastfed babies are fed on demand which is often little and often. You can not correlate the two.

Although I concede there is a lot of washing up and measuring to do if you do formula and don't buy those ready made things.

@FourTeaFallOut @theveg

I have a formula fed child. He was in my arms and alongside me as much as my breast fed children were.

Yes I know all about cluster feeding. I just didn't calculate my hourly rate for it. Seems an odd way to look at it to me.

For me the time saved on the domestic tasks of washing and sterilising and the freedom that it afforded me in terms of going anywhere knowing I had the exactly the food my sons required already inside my body was very liberating.

@OddSocksandRainbowDocs - yes, things are better now - thank you. I have come to realise that my depression is a broader issue than just post natal depression, although failing to breastfeed did lead me to have a depressive episode after each baby. But I’ve had therapy, learned to be kinder to myself, and I have medication that helps.

And my babies are all now grown up, and ds1 and his wife just made me a granny for the first time.

Loads of women who formula feed cite one of the biggest perks to it is that “DH /P can bond with the baby / we can take it in turns / I can have someone else to literally hand the baby to to feed and settle

breastfeeding mothers don’t have any of this

So which is it?!

IMO feeding your baby, by whichever method you choose, isn't necessarily a bonding experience. It is just something you do to nourish your baby.

I think the excuse that the baby's father can feed their baby to create a "bonding experience" is a load of nonsense.

If you don't want to breast feed then own it.

Having both breastfed and formula fed I can say that at the beginning breast feeding was very difficult and I was on the verge of giving up, but didn't. When DD started on formula at 6 months I can honestly say that washing and sterilising the bottles, making up feeds and heating them to the right temperature was a right old faff compared to breast feeding (once we had both cracked it).

@turquoise1988 they don’t need to as the vast majority don’t bf anyway

So true

What about the mothers who feel so guilty they keep trying and trying to the detriment of their mental health 😳😢

You have the option to choose. As a mum you may want to do 95% of the work yourself, or you may want to share equally, or it might swing between the two depending on whats going in with life. You don't have that freedom to choose with BF (certainly if baby won't take a bottle).

My ff baby, I have a wonderful bond with, and we spent an innumerable number of nights up together. But I also shared the nights equally, wasnt tired, and had my first evening out with friends at 2 weeks, and night away at 3 months. When I was ill, I went to bed and recuperated.I wasnt a tired mum.

My BF baby (bottle refuser) I had to all the nights. I was exhausted. We also have a wonderful bond. I first had the night away from her when she was 2 (and 3 for a night out with friends) because she got so distressed at my absence. When I had a tummy bug, I still had to breastfeed her about 5 times in the night.

The perk isnt having to take it in turns. The perk is being able to. The freedom to.

I also remember the feeling of my womb shrinking as I fed the dc.

I find it hard with my dd with bf and felt under pressure to let others feed her with ff etc

Also reduced having periods for a while (not a contraceptive preventative though)

I had lots of milk so the local maternity hospital supplied me with sterile bottles and collected my milk. They even paid me for it. I don't care how people feed their babies but why would the NHS do that if it wasn't important for the vulnerable babies they wanted it for? Or do they even do it now?

I think the excuse that the baby's father can feed their baby to create a "bonding experience" is a load of nonsense.

If you don't want to breast feed then own it.

This was a huge perk of FF for me.... I was happy to 'own' my decision to use formula and share this aspect of of parenting with Dh. I'm not hiding behind this as a reason, it was part of the reason!

Not true.

The issue is that ANY formula will discount a baby from the ‘exclusively breastfed’ statistics. So even if you have 1 bottle of formula in hospital but none since and they’re 3 months old, they won’t count as EBF.

Over a third of babies are still receiving breast milk at 6 months old. Hardly vanishingly rare.

I can tell you my experience, I'm not making any bold claims about the universal experience - just that I can't imagine short changing my baby of time in my arms because of my feeding choices.

Ahhh mine came back at 6 weeks post partum despite feeding on demand

@Wouldloveanother that’s absolutely not true , I have experience in this area. The uk and Ireland have the lowest bf rates in Europe , particularly Ireland . Fact: most , the absolute majority of mothers do not bf past 3 months in both countries. The vast , vast majority formula feed, you are absolutely wrong. Ireland has a massive formula feeding lobby as its mass produced here in factories….
So formula feeding is the chosen, highly processed feed for newborns in Ireland and the uk. That is a fact , not emotive , fact.

@Babyboomtastic perk for you but not your baby.

You shouldn't be leaving a two week old. Simple. There's a reason we are encouraged to rest for 6 weeks. It's in part to stay close and connected to our newborn.

This is why surrogacy is eventually going to done by anyone who can afford it - everyone wants to outsource the job.

We can be equal in all things but child birth and breastfeeding..... until it's not the done thing anymore becUse i NeEd mY freEEdoM not envy.

Well, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy handing DD over to DH of a Friday night with a bottle of expressed milk or formula - I used to have a leisurely bath, tuck myself up with a book and get a full 8 hours sleep. It made me a better mother - I would be full of energy the next day and we would have a lovely family day out at a National Trust place, or just strolling through our city and stopping at cafes etc. DH enjoyed his night shift with DD and the fact he could give me a break. Happy memories!

well, UNICEF would disagree.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/about/breastfeeding-in-the-uk/amp/

Also another comments “ bf kids wake up in the night much more than ff babies “