'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

this argument really annoys me. I’ve know loads of people that think they are absolute heroes for breastfeeding and in the first few pages of this thread there is already the guilt being put on formula feeders).

at the end of the day vaginal births are “best”… it’s “natural” and doesn’t involve anaesthetic or cutting several layers of abdomen. Etc etc.

BUT sometimes that doesn’t work out and that’s ok. Same with breast feeding. New mums don’t need the constant guilt. Who gives a crap? It’s all ok. We should treat breastfeeding like birth in my opinion. Sure there’s a preferred way but no worries if it doesn’t work out.

instead of fighting about it… let’s get more breast feeding support, more midwives, more help! Let’s normalise mixed feeding. Lets talk about pumping. Let’s get everyone on the same page with what’s normal with regards to milk coming in. Let’s solve the problem when it does go wrong… mastitis, pain, supply. Let there be more support in hospital. Lets not just Chuck mum out after a few hours.

i had twins and the Support was crap. They wouldn’t latch as they were tiny. I was made to feel guilty that they were not getting a certain quantity within hours. “Based on their weight they need this many mls”

the system was already set up to fail me.

one breast feeding support person for many people. Was awful!

Sharing felt natural to us.
We made decisions that suited us as a family unit.

I'm assuming you did the same. I don't judge others for making different choices to me.... unfortunately it appears that you do. I'm not sure what gives you the right to judge others?

@Wouldloveanother she's a toddler now and they spend tons of time together and have weekly day trips etc.

He did nappies and dressed her when she was small. Plus all her bath times except when it was hair wash time as he preferred not to do it because her hair got too tangled for him to deal with. He also did tummy time.

So did all three of my poor, formula fed, deprived-of-mummy-time boys, @britneyisfree.

Being able to brush his own kids hair is a pretty low bar.

It's a thread we can express our feelings. I'm not offended by anyones comments so if you are by mine maybe I've touched a nerve. Not my thread I couldn't care less. It's my truth and it's how I've chosen to do things.

I can only speak for my own experience, I come from a very large family and have spent a great deal of time with little ones growing up and I felt this was the best approach. Fortunately my dh agrees and it's been frequently commented on (even by the health visitor at her two year review) that my daughter is absolutely fab hehehehe

So did mine ......

I FF, left him to get my hair done at 2 weeks and left him overnight at MILs at 10 weeks.

🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd say not buying chemically laden fake food when there's no medical need is low too but there you go.

She has thickly textured hair. He could do a great deal of damage long term. He can do it now but it took him a while to learn.

Team work makes the dream work.

You couldn’t pay me to abandon DD during bath time, play time, tummy time AND changing time! I wanted DD to know I was involved in all aspects of her care, not just one and then buggering off. Shocking behaviour, Brit.

😉

This is ridiculous. Why are you all fighting with one another?

Women putting women down. Again

It’s hardly teamwork if he outsourced it to you.

@Wouldloveanother 😂Lolol I did it while he was at work when lockdown lifted so it was all good but yeah you got me hahahahah

You’ll be sad to watch him down pints and kebabs when he’s 18 then.

@Wouldloveanother she. And yeah sure. I did.

It's about the foundation. What she does later is up to her. What I did then was up to me and I made the best choices I could where I could. That meant doing what I felt was natural.

Most women can breastfeed. We sustain the baby inside us and we offer sustenance on the other side. It's not easy but it's a sacrifice I was willing to make and have absolutely no regrets.

I agree it's bloody weird.

They are all a nightmare at 14 no matter what.

@britneyisfree are you drinking?

Your already snippy posts have stepped up a notch, somewhat.

@Herejustforthisone sober. But I've been carb free the last two days and it's really got my head spinning. Maybe that's why, I don't think I've ever posted on one thread so much that's not even my own!!

You'll be pleased to know I have a sweet potato in the oven

I won't say it's not how I feel though. I just wouldn't usually say.

Don’t worry op

it really doesn’t matter in a few years time and only breast feeding bores will still be wittering on about it

rest of us get on with feeding how best we can and don’t care to lecture others on what is best

I actually think those who breastfeed are given an equally hard time as those who use formula. There's a much bigger army of people who use formula, many who are keen to discuss their feeding journey and choices and why it's better/as good as breast milk. I have literally never met anyone who goes around preaching the benefits of breastfeeding in real life. The reality is we seem to just feed apologetically in a corner, without discussion for fear that we will be branded as self righteous exhibitionists.

This is honestly so so so true.

I am always trying to hide it somewhere or having to scrurry off or ask her to wait because people get so uncomfortable.

Im so glad she's older now, it was much harder when she was smaller and needed to feed regularly.

No one asks ff when they are going to stop. My family ask everytime 😩

@hellosunshineagainx my situation was similar to yours with my first. I had a 3 day labour, episiotomy, forceps, a torn artery and a pph of 3 litres. I also had a blood transfusion. I really wish someone at the time had said to me, don't put pressure on yourself to breastfeed considering the trauma you've just gone through. Consequently, I persisted, thought ds was getting enough from me but obviously wasn't as he went floppy, dehydrated and we ended up back in hospital. I combone fed for a while but then stuck to formula. I did feel like I'd failed but I was also in a bad place anyway with ptsd and pnd.

For, dc2, she went into special care for a few days and nil by mouth for a while which didn't get us off to a good start with breastfeeding. I tried, but again, my poor mental health with pnd again really decided it for me. I think I was happier and more confident with my decision second time around.

I think it’s ok to go back to not saying you look down on FF by choice. You don’t know what’s at the root of those choices.

One day women will stop tearing other women down. We’ve already got enough actual shit to be tackling in life, we don’t need to add ‘women vocally critical of other women’s methods of feeding their children’ to the list.

Enjoy your sweet potato.

@Babyboomtastic yeah I do feel sorry for them. At 2 weeks old come off it, you couldn't pay me to leave a baby that small.

I went back to a maternity centre when DS was just two days old where I stayed two nights with him for breastfeeding support. It’s was a very relaxed atmosphere, the midwives weren’t all crazily run off their feet like in the hospital, where unfortunately they didn’t have the time to support mums properly with feeding. Both nights the midwives took my baby for some cuddles after a difficult feed for about about 2 hours, maybe 3, so I could get some sleep. I mean, I could have gone to the salon or out for drinks for all DS knew… what difference does it make?
Breastfeeding actually works better in many places where women don’t feel like they have to be attached to their baby 24/7, where they have a good support network. They feed their babies, and then mums, sisters, aunts are there to take the baby so the mum can rest and build up the energy for more feeding. Making women feel like they can’t have a break is massively counter productive to breastfeeding, and possibly another reason why many women find it so overwhelming.
Whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding, everyone needs a break to function and parent properly. And your baby doesn’t give a shit what you do during that break. I hope you had a great time with your friends @Babyboomtastic. I thoroughly enjoyed my nap!

Fed is best is nonsense. Better than what? Is anyone seriously weighing up the pros and cons of feeding vs not feeding their baby and thinking 'meh, maybe I won't bother... oh wait, but fed is best, maybe I should!'

Formula is great if it's something the mother chooses. Likewise, breastfeeding is great if that's what the mother wants. Women should be educated and supported to achieve their goals whether that's partners pulling their weight doing bottle feeds at night or access to IBCLCs to support breastfeeding.

Informed and supported is best. Fed is the bare minimum.