'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

Fed is best is a stupid expression and so Is breast is best really. Breast is normal. breast milk is the default.

If you read The Politics of Breastfeeding, there is an analogy between breastfeeding and chickens. "Free range" chicken is marketed as a premium product but actually chickens having space to roam is how it should be. Battery chickens are deficient. You can try to gloss over the qualitative differences between formula and breast milk all you like but the evidence is incontrovertible. That is a fact and not intended to upset anyone who didn't breastfeed.

It is a failure of the system that mothers who want to breastfeed are unable to and it is very sad and shameful that this happens so often.

It is 🤷‍♀️

@hellosunshineagainx I'm so sorry you had such a hard time I remember the midwife telling me I couldn't go home until I'd breastfeed three times. I was an absolute wreck before that but when she said that, I was even worse.

Looking back now, I definitely had PND. Admittedly, it was mild in comparison to others but things are definitely looking brighter now.

Hope things are okay with you?

Breast is best if it's available to you. Formula fed is best if it isn't.

It’s incredibly rare that women cant’t breastfeed, but it’s incredibly common that they’re not given the support they need in order to make breastfeeding happen.

Absolutely agree!

But healthy food isn’t ‘negligibly’ better than crisps and chocolate. It’s much better.

whereas breast is only negligibly better than formula. Which upsets people on here, but it’s true!

So yes, ‘breast is best’, but not to any extent that it will noticeably impact the health of your child. In fact I’ve seen many threads on here from parents who breastfed one child and formula fed the other, who say the breastfed child is constantly sick whereas the formula fed child has the constitution of an ox.

That sounds awful OP. I know midwives are under a lot of stress and naturally they wouldn't want to discharge you home if baby would be readmitted for dehydration and weight loss later. It's so difficult when you're she'll shocked and sleep deprived from birth to manage the emotions though.

I had to be really pig headed about feeding DD2 after having similar experiences with DD1 and while I agree with the posters who have explained why fed is best is not helpful messaging, it's the lack of useful breastfeeding support that is to blame for this

Anecdata 🤷‍♀️

snowdrops are you seriously suggesting that feeding your baby formula is doing the bare minimum?
How insulting and insensitive.

You have NO idea why women either choose not to breastfeed or can't breastfeed. To suggest these women are doing to bare minimum is disgusting.

I think breast is best. There is a lot of evidence to support this, and it's stupid to try and pretend that that isn't true.

However, formula is a great alternative for those who cannot breastfeed or choose not to.

The purpose of National Breastfeeding Week is to promote breastfeeding and better inform those who are able to breastfeed but choose not to. All research shows that breastfeeding is the best nutrition for a baby, hence "breast is best".

You make the point that you physically could not breastfeed (implying that if you were physically able, that's what you'd have chosen to do - so perhaps in your heart of hearts you do agree with the slogan). I think that perhaps you are feeling sensitive about "breast is best" because you were unable and i'm sorry that you were judged because of it.

Fed is an alternative if this is not an option, and of course it is also possible for a a baby to thrive if they are formula fed, it's just not the preference. I had to formula feed too. DD is happy and healthy, but it's not the route i'd have chosen.

I have breastfed and I have formula fed.
At the time, having an EBF baby felt like a badge of honour, despite it almost ruining my mental health due to DC losing weight, tongue tie, all night pumping and so on.
Looking back, I really needed to get my head out of my arse and see the bigger picture. A fed, healthy, baby is the most important thing and frankly, by the time they're 10 or so, who really cares any more?

On a population level there are health benefits to bring breastfed. But on an individual level, there are so many more factors in play - incidentally, my EBF child has far more health issues than my ff one. Feeding is not the be all and end all.

whereas breast is only negligibly better than formula. Which upsets people on here, but it’s true!

Exactly!

For my lactose intolerant baby lactose free formula actually was best ....

Funnily enough, my friends' babies who were breastfeed are always ill whereas my daughter who was formula fed is very rarely ill...

I have the opposite experience and during breastfeeding week I mostly see fed is best and a lot of people defending their choices. It all becomes a bit of a fight which is a shame as there doesn’t seem to be a lot of support for anyone it seems. Admittedly I think breast is best because scientifically it is?

Feeding your child is doing the bare minimum Anything else is neglect.

OP I think you've had a bad experience and I'm sorry to hear that and that you didn't get the correct support.

Can you see the importance of midwives trying to support and encourage new mothers to breastfeed?

In all honestly I can totally see why people give up b/f and say they tried but it didn't work...but I do honestly believe that lots of these mothers could have and should have persevered...some midwives are doing a bit of tough love teaching.

There is pain/raw nipples/latching issues/bleeding nipples/engorgement the list goes on but once you fight through that barrier..it all kind of plateaus.

I think there needs to be better teaching, support and honesty about how painful it can be in those first 2 weeks. I was pretty shocked to be honest at how difficult it was but glad I pushed through it.

Fed is best.

I always said that I would breastfeed but the minute it became hard for me or baby, we would then move onto formula feed.

My baby would not latch on. I tried, the midwives tried, as did their assistants. We tried many positions but to no avail. I tried pumping but again, it did not happen. I could not express milk.

I do not feel 'sensitive'. I feel furious that women are still being made to feel like a failure because of the way they choose to feed their baby!

Feeding your child is doing the bare minimum Anything else is neglect.

Are you suggesting ff is bordering on neglect? Seriously?

I remember when I was struggling to feed one of my babies and he ended up in hospital with dehydration, a high fever, a rash and suspected meningitis. And I was trying to express breast milk so he would have something to drink, with impacted breasts bordering on mastitis and totally miserable and sleep deprived and bleeding nipples and terrified about my poorly baby. The nurse said to me, "breast is best, dear, except for when it isn't." And she took the pump out of my hand, and walked away with it, and I just had this absolute feeling of peace at being given permission to stop after the expensive lactation consultants and breastfeeding support and hours on the phone to the la leche league and the nurse had just given me this permission to stop. And after a night in hospital, two convulsions, and three small bottles of formula, he was hydrated and his temperature came down and we could go home. And I remember telling a breastfeeding friend how grateful I was to that nurse for taking that pump and that decision out of my hands, and she S said to me "you should complain that she took the pump and gave your baby formula without your consent" and I just realised how absolutely nuts it all was this breastfeeding debate and burst out laughing. That woman is not my friend anymore, but I will forever be grateful to that nurse. Not all heroes wear scrubs, but that one did!

I was told if I was doing it right there would be no pain. I found it toe curlingly painfully the first 2 weeks and so did other people I spoke to. Why not just be honest and say it hurts??

Actually the evidence is far less stark than people make out. There are very few decent longitudinal studies that are able to norm for other factors. The couple of decent ones there are suggest the benefits for the baby are quite short term - there are more benefits for the mother but that's not what anyone gets worked up about. 🤷‍♀️

No, but it’s the bare minimum that needs to be done.

Personally, I think midwives should be encouraged to help mother's make their own decisions. One midwife even told me that she agrees a fed baby is best but as guidelines say 'breast is best', she just has to go with it.