How many children is a lot of children?

[Charlavail]

I was just reading about someone with 12 children. I feel guilty about spreading my attention and money 2 ways. Maybe a "lot" is different depending on your finances or network? Anymore than 4 I would consider a lot.

More than 4

That's not really how a birth rate works, it's an average. Some people have one, some have two, some three or more, it all averages out. An average of below 3 doesn't mean that not many people are having three.

I think two children is a lot of children, mostly because I have two children, and when I'm home alone with them I'm outnumbered. Clearly others disagree 😂

I have 4. I don't think it's a lot.

3 or more.

How birth rates work is that at 1.65 in the UK, very few people are having 3 children.

1.65 is too LOW a birthrate, not too high. IT's a huge problem.

Oh god I have three with these exact ages. When we go to friend’s houses, I always apologise and say I feel like we’re a LOT.

More than 3

2 which is why I have just 1. 😃

Same here.

I am going to say more than 3 is a lot but for us personally our 1 feels like having 3 some days.

More than 2.

4 +

I’d say 3+?

We have just found out we’re expecting baby number 5, and I feel like we have A LOT of kids! Haha.

I think 6 or more.

More than 2 is a lot

I think 2 is fine, 3 at a push but my DH and I said when we started talking about children, 2 to replace ourselves!

@SeemsSoUnfair
You could just have described my childhood. I'm the baby of 5. I have 3 teens of my own now ( number 1 ds has just passed his driving test today so I'm feeling my age a bit ).

On what do you base that ridiculously sweeping statement?

I think people don't realise how offensive they are being when they say X number of children is too many when they are talking to parents of X number of children or more.

You don't get to decide how capable we are of parenting our children. You may feel you wouldn't be able to properly care for more children than you have, you don't get to tell me I can't do it. I can and do.

I am 4 of 5 (feel like the borg!). I remember the excitement of my parents when my older siblings were doing swimming, driving lessons (self funded of course), big occasions like 18ths/21st, first grandkids, leaving school etc. By the time they got to me it was very much been there done that - here, have a hand me down blue boys bicycle.

Although the babies of the bigger families always got spoiled 😉(middle child syndrome! 😂)

It was only fine at the time as it was normal and mostly, my mum tells me, due to lack of education on contraception!

I think people don't realise how offensive they are being when they say X number of children is too many when they are talking to parents of X number of children or more.

I do agree with this to a point, but the reverse is also true, whereby parents of multiple children frequently feel entitled to opine about how those of us who stopped at one are selfish, and that our only children are all lonely/spoilt/weird/otherwise dysfunctional. Everyone’s personal circumstances are different, and no one should be making lazy assumptions about how strangers’ DCs will turn out.

I think there’s truth in it. I’m one of 5. In my ‘culture’ big families are the norm. It seems there is a sweet spot - 3/4 kids - any more than that and they don’t seem to be overly close to their parents. I remember one of my friends being dropped off at my birthday pool party, my mum asked his dad if he could swim (he didn’t have any armbands with him) and the dad just asking his son there and then ‘can you swim?’ 🧐 the boy was around 7 and he was one of 7 kids.
okay so that could’ve happened in a smaller family, but it’s one of repeated such incidences I have seen.
it’s also my experience that parents with lots of kids are ‘baby people’ - they like the cute baby stage, and lose interest when they hit about 2, and then simply pop out another.

I had this as well! Great excitement when my older sister did anything, when it was my turn it was a bit meh and yesterday’s news. We are all girls and one boy, the boy being the youngest. So I wasn’t the oldest, wasn’t the youngest, and wasn’t the prized only boy! I was basically forgotten about a lot of the time. I doubt my parents could’ve said who my friends were, or what A levels I was studying. And I didn’t get to do any clubs because ‘driving me there and back would’ve meant putting all the little ones in the car’ etc. It wasn’t practical.
that said, now I’m an adult, I’m reasonably close with my siblings and they bring me more value than a few years of Brownies etc.
theres good and bad points to both.

Four was brilliant when they were little - cute outings and fun and play. Now, not so much. Hormones, uni, homework support, massive friends, food bills, attitudes, wow.

We have got three kids, I think any more than that is a lot of kids! Not 'too many' though because there are all sorts of factors involved in that, and one child might be too many for some people.

I feel like when I'm out and about with my kids, especially on my own, it seems like quite a gang, but mine are all quite little (and therefore a bit unruly...) so that might be why.

More than 1.