How many children is a lot of children?

[Charlavail]

I was just reading about someone with 12 children. I feel guilty about spreading my attention and money 2 ways. Maybe a "lot" is different depending on your finances or network? Anymore than 4 I would consider a lot.

One wife and husband having several children is very different from the (usually man) who has several families with different partners.

Other than the obvious ones, Fred West comes to mind. The alleged number of children he fathered is in double figures.

Depends on the context… One toddler and you’re in a broken lift: a lot. 12 kids at a whole class party: a few.

I think 5+ is a lot. I always said I wanted five when I was younger I have three and am happy with that, don't want any more. Well maybe if I could pause myself ageing and have unlimited money.

I wonder if my perception of 5+ being a lot is because the biggest families I know personally have 4 children, and though I feel their houses are full, it doesn't seem like a lot. I did hear of a local mum who has six though and I immediately thought that seems like a lot. Hmm maybe 6 is my minimum to think of as a lot.

Very few people can do a good, or even an average job, in all areas for more than 2,

err plenty can't do an average job for 1 or 2!

We have 2. The second one was unexpected. truth is we cannot handle more than 2. They are in a private school and I was 39 when I had number 1. I genuinely do not think I could handle more than 2 emotionally or financially.

Three or more

We have 3. Only wanted 2 and it took a lot of thinking...then I released two eggs that month!! Happy with what we have but it's absolute chaos. Feel like I'm split into three directions at once sometimes.

I'd say more than 3 these days, when I was young more than 4.

More than 2 although these days it seems like lots of people are having 3.

expect they aren't if you look at the birth rate.

I had 3. I wanted 3. Any more than that seemed like a lot to me, although I did know larger families too.

All mine are grown up now, and only DD3 remains somewhat dependent on us as she is still a student and will be for the next couple of years.

We're in the car with two at the moment and it feels like a LOT. They were separated for a few hours and are a bit hyper now that they're reunited.

I have 3, and found them A Lot at times - and they have no additional needs. Just keeping on top of homework, extracurricular stuff and generally staying in touch with them (particularly through the teenage years) was hard work. I know my time expands to fill the tasks, so I could've coped with 1 more. I have a friend with 6 children and she is run ragged, nobody will babysit all of them at once so she never gets a break. Going out with her and the children is like a military manoeuvre, and isn't at all fun or relaxing!

Are you me? 😀

I saw a Facebook post yesterday from someone I went to school with, she has just had her fifth child. I saw the picture and thought bloody hell, that's a lot of children so I think 5.

I'd think of a large family as more than four as one 'set' (ie excluding second relationships / blended families / very big age gaps). But I do live somewhere where 3 children seems to be the norm, and I have plenty of friends with 4+ kids.

Having said that I've only got the one (now grown up) and that was perfect for me!

We've recently had our 4th and it does feel like a lot. My brain hasn't quite accepted that there are 4 of them yet. Maybe once that happens it'll feel more normal 🤣

I think I've always thought 4 or more is a lot. But I feel very lucky and certainly wouldn't change anything if I had my time again.

I also think it depends on the kids. We have friends with one child who is very challenging and dominates the space, others with more who are very easy company.

In theory I think I would say 4+, but in practice I know a few families with 3 children and it always looks like a lot of children to me! Though possibly more so because they're all very young, 3 under 4/5 scenarios - 3 older children doesn't look so chaotic!

One, I should've stayed at zero

My mum was one of 15. It was actually 17 but 2 died very young.

I have four and it’s a lot . We were both from a family of three so that seemed normal to us. Then no.3 was twins. I think I was the playground example of the danger of a third child for years!

More than 2- even with 2 parents you’re outnumbered that’s a lot to me

More than 3 feels like a lot to me. But then we have an only child by choice, and even visiting or going out with my friends who have two often feels chaotic and stressful!

I have 3 and it's too many 🤣

Tbh it hit me today how it really is too many for me when I was taking them to buy holiday clothes/uniform. None are in a buggy anymore and I was carrying heavy bags + trying to reign them all in from climbing and running off. Not to mention the expense of it. I'm a lone parent though so maybe if I had a partner, it wouldn't feel too many. So I say 3+ is a lot!

I think more than 3/4.

I'm one of 4 and it felt like a big family growing up.