WWYD: dirt poor

[Alicewither]

I’m a single parent to DS3, when I got pregnant I was in a very different situation, before anyone judges. I had a car, I worked full time in a clothes shop and was with ex for 2 years, we rented a 2 bed flat together.

Now - I live in a village, no car as the last one broke and can’t afford a new one, Im studying computing with the open university hoping to become a software developer and I have a remote internship this summer, as well as studying outside of this. DS3 is due to start local primary schools pre school 3 afternoons a week in September as that’s all the space they had, this is fully funded.

Ex hasn’t had contact with DS3 for over 2 years, he walked out when he was 3 months old. Child maintenance is set up as collect and pay directly from benefits / wages but haven’t received a payment in 8 months and CMS are slow for everything. I’m assuming he’s working self employed and not declaring it. I have no family help, my mums terminally ill.

I have no savings, and a lot of debt. I had a new partner when DS was 9
months old that I stayed with for nearly 2 years who became abusive so we had to leave our house, I was also financially abused.

INCOME
£404 UC monthly (deductions for loan + rent arrears)
£21.80 a week child benefit
Rent is fully paid

OUTGOINGS
Gas £40
Electric £80
CT £30
Debt £30
Water £47
Internet £28
Food shop toiletries cleaning etc £250
Phone £10
Travel £40
Toys / clothes - there’s a childrens shop in the town closest to me that’s all completely free, run by a charity, I also buy / sell on Vinted

as you can see my outgoings are larger than my income.

What would you do? Try work full time even though after childcare and expenses you’d have nothing left? I don’t understand how I can get out of this situation. If something breaks in my house, I’m in trouble. I have absolutely no spare money. DS3 Bedroom is empty apart from drawers, bed got damaged in the house move and I can’t afford carpet, so he sleeps in my bed.

This is all addressed in the very first post...

Ex hasn’t had contact with DS3 for over 2 years, he walked out when he was 3 months old. Child maintenance is set up as collect and pay directly from benefits / wages but haven’t received a payment in 8 months and CMS are slow for everything. I’m assuming he’s working self employed and not declaring it. I have no family help, my mums terminally ill.

16 hours is the optimal so they don't force you into work but you don't get your uc reduced until you earn over £560ish a month , you could work a few hours a week part time still get your uc and your wage , childcare you can also claim for I think it's 70/80 percent of the cost paid to you or if above 3 and your working you get 30 hours free, your uc payment seems really low is this due to the repayments? When will they be finished I know my friends gets around £844 as standard with 1 child and gets to keep her wages on top of that working part time. Big hugs to you op

Do you have only energy saving light bulbs? Also use an air fryer only - never a standard oven - one can save a lot of electricity that way.

Work is definitely the solution here. If you worked 16hrs a week even at minimum wage you could earn around £150 extra per week, at that wage you'd pay no/little tax and very little national insurance, and universal credit would cover 70-80% of childcare + you'd qualify for the 30hrs free during term time. Working just 16 hours a week would still leave lots of time for your part-time distance learning study, tbh I can't honestly see ANY downsides to finding part-time work as soon as possible, it would improve yours and your son's quality of life dramatically. The job market is really good at the moment with lots of job opportunities around and employers are having to be flexible to attract workers. Loads of university students studying full time and not distance learning work part time in m&s apparently

Is the house private or council? Are they allowed to rent it without carpets, it’s made that room uninhabitable for your son so surely they should have to have it to some kind of standard to be able to take rent?

im in suffolk.
yes he can get funded hours however the local pre school only have 3 afternoons a week space, although they’ve said this may change by September. I tried the whole going to a brick uni and DS going to nursery last year, I was worse off than I am now, probably because of car costs petrol parking etc. it was fun though
I’ve contacted a family support worker that I had last year to see if she can help

If you're doing a software engineering course you might be able to pick up bits of freelance work on sites like this www.freelancer.co.uk/jobs/programming/

Admittedly a lot of the stuff on other is asking for fantastically unrealistic things, at unreasonably low costs .... but you do get the odd thing that could work. I once got paid to do an Austrian student's coursework for them ! I learnt a lot doing it too.

The £10 a day thread over in money matters is your friend.I started doing surveys last week,joined streetbees and qmee,and have been doing around £4-5 daily just from surveys.This money will hopefully really help me out and could work for others.

Where do you generally shop, @Alicewither ?

I have put together budget meal/shopping plans for people in the past to give ideas on how to get shopping bills down. Happy to put something together and send across via PM if you like, but no problem at all if you'd prefer me not to.

Generally speaking, some simple ways to bring costs down are to cut down on/cut out meat, batch cook and freeze (IF you have the freezer space) and have a few days a week of V cheap meals.

Is that the only pre school there is ? Are there no childminders other nursery's he could go to ? My dd never went to the school nursery I just kept her in the private one with the 30 hours free until she was at school age for reception.