Your favourite funny line from TV or film

[ChinBristles]

After much consideration, the one I quote the most is Sheldon from Big Bang Theory: "Saturday night is laundry night". It just so covers me when I'm introverting on the weekend.

I'm guessing "Pivot!" may be a popular choice!

Vulva! 😀
Love Spaced!
And Hot Fuzz/Shaun of the Dead gets quoted a lot in our house
You've got red on you"

😂

That Father Ted quote is bloody amazing

Rachel: guess what, guess what, guess what
Chandler: the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending trident?

The Inbetweeners "why's there always some cunt with a guitar?!" as they are sitting around a campfire one evening. This always pops into my head as you always stumble across that person who thinks they are amazing playing the guitar on the beach/campsite/common etc when invariably they aren't😂

Alan Partidge. Too many to quote them all."Sunday bloody Sunday". It's hard not to start quoting the whole thing on a Sunday!

First episode of "The Sweeney". Regan and Carter collar some neer do well in a lock up garage, where upon the great John Thaw utters the following line-"Were the sweeney son, and we haven't had any dinner".

"Mrs Tweedy! The chickens are revolting!" "Finally, something we agree on."
Chicken Run

Is that Kitty?

I constantly replay in my head the thing she did about women on diets being asked if they want anything from the shop while a colleague is popping out ' just get me a raspberry yoghurt..... but if they dont have any raspberry yoghurts I'll have a pork pie'

Said very northern. Hilarious

‘I’ve got this horrid feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation,knowing my luck I’d come back as my bloody self’

‘my wife doesn’t love me,me mums left me,and some bastards nicked me bike!’

’stone me Del,you’ve been engaged more times than a switchboard’

’i got a Persian rug with more food on it than a takeaway and the script to 101 Dalmatians’

‘Oh piss of mickey-your getting on my tits’

we watch way too much only fools in our house…

Mr. Fox: “Milk gets sour y’know. Unless it’s UHT milk, but there’s no demand for that because it’s shite.”

Ted: “Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, ‘collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?'”

Dougal: “Didn’t you tell me once that Father Jack had a trial for Liverpool?”
Ted: “No… no, he was on trial, in Liverpool.”

Ted: “I’m not a fascist. I’m a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests... More drink!"

Ted: “What was it Jack used to say about the needy? He had a term for them.”
Dougal: “A shower of Bastards.”

'Pat and Margaret' involves the reuniting - on a Cilla Black-esque show - of two sisters who haven't seen each other for about thirty years: Victoria Wood (Margaret) works in a service station caff and is having a relationship with cleaner Duncan Preston who can't get out from under the thumb of mother Thora Hird, while Julie Walters is Pat Bedford - essentially Joan Collins - who has lived in the United States and is a successful tv actress (although beginning a bit of a decline). Something goes a bit tits up and they end up on the road, evading a tabloid reporter and trying to track down their useless mum.

The hypoglycaemic croissant thing is 'Over to Pam' from 'Mens Sana in Thingummy Doodah' where Victoria Wood essentially plays herself and is accompanying a nervous friend due to be interviewed by Julie Walters about her self-made business success story.

Baffled when people say VW wasn't funny (usually men, oddly 🙄). Doyenne of observational comedy. So missed.

"We don't have a cow. We do have a bill"
Kingpin

So many faulty towers;
"What did you expect? The hanging gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically?"

"I know nothing "

"We use to laugh quite a lot together ", "yes, but not at the same time Basil"

Take my eyes but not the shirt

From What we do in the Shadows - the vampires talking about the superb owl party. 'We love owls so it is splendid to be going to a Superb Owl party'.

It's a Super Bowl party

You have to see it

Cracks me up just thinking about it.

Oh and when the posh lady asked Madge's daughter if she (Madge) is ever worried about the c word with all her smoking and sun worshipping. And she says nah she has been called worse than that before!!

Blackadder:

General Melchett: “How else do you think our battles are directed?”
Blackadder (pretending to be surprised) “Our battles are directed?!”
General Melchett: “Well of course they are...directed according to the grand plan”
Blackadder: “Would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until everyone is dead except Lord Haig, Lady Haig and their pet tortoise Alan?”

Withnail and I: “I feel like a pig shat in my head”, “Come, the sky begins to bruise and we shall be forced to camp”

Lawrence of Arabia: “No Arab loves the desert. We love water and green trees. There is nothing in the desert...and no man needs nothing.”

Blackadder:
Tell me, young crone, is this Putney?
Young Crone:
[cackling] That it be! That it be!
Blackadder:
"Yes, it is," not "That it be". And you don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me, I'm not a tourist! I seek information about a Wise Woman.
Young Crone:
The Wise Woman? The Wise Woman?!
Blackadder:
Yes. The Wise Woman.
Young Crone:
Two things, my Lord, must ye know of the Wise Woman. First... she is a woman! And second... she is...
Blackadder:
Wise?
Young Crone:
[normal] You do know her, then?
Blackadder:
No, just a wild stab in the dark - which, incidentally, is what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful! Do you know where she lives?

In one of the Victoria Woods Presents episodes, she at a party in the home of a very posh lady (Patricia Hogg, I think). 2 lines I love;

"She used to live in a cardboard box, you know!"

And

"Well, she wasn't very nice was she boys and girls?!"

Also, most of dinnerladies but especially the bit where Tony was talking about the time someone's HRT patch fell off into the mulligatawny soup and Jeans says, "that was a one off!". Her timing is spot on.

Love “What We Do In the Shadows” and @AlpacaTheBags Young Frankenstein is one of my favourite films and I’ve been known to shout “Sedagive?!” from time to time, though did manage to resist the temptation to mutter “Blucher!” at the horses I worked with!

Blazing Saddkes also eminently quotable:
“we don’t need no stinking’ badges!”
“It’s HEADLEY!”
“My name is Jim. Most people call me… Jim.”

Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells to Blackadder
” I will have my money by evensong tonight or your bottom will wish it had never been born”

Fawlty towers
Basil: But that is Torquay, madam.
Mrs Richards: Well it’s not good enough.
Basil: Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically…
Mrs Richards: Don’t be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea! It’s over there between the land and the sky!
Guest: I’d need a telescope to see that.
Basil: Well might I suggest you move to a hotel closer to the sea. Or preferably in it.

Sheldon’s mum in Big Bang Theory after being pulled up on some un PC comment.

“It’s a wonder you people in California can talk at all”

and when she’s talking about a woman in her town:

”Back home, there's a girl works at the Wal-Mart. Tall, taaaaall girl. Woman could hunt geese with a rake.

Love her.

Planes, trains and automobiles, when the chap says to the blind guy who's driving, "keep your eyes on the road!". Creases me up every time

"But I are a salad with every meal" is a quote I say when Ive not lost any weight, from Frasier.

Another from Frasier "it took 3 Cranes to lift you" when poor Daphne couldn't get up off the floor.
So many Frasier ones.

"They were all in the nip!" Father Dougal doing the milk round in Father Ted

From Frasier
Niles (About Maris): I've not seen her this happy since the neighbour children discovered our new electric fence.

The thick of it
"Like a clown walking across a minefield."

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries

anything from life of Brian/the holy grail

when kids ask what’s for supper i tend to reel off the list of fancy nibbles like wolf nipple chips or dromedary pretzels

withnail and I has endless ones too finest wines known to humanity and all that