WWYD baby next door screaming 20 mins now

[Dobbysgotthesocks]

Parents outside having a smoke.

I just came in from work. Popped upstairs to get something. Hear child crying (their bedroom next to my bathroom). Hear the bedroom door shut loudly next door. Increase in crying from child.
Next thing I know both parents are outside in their back garden. Definitely can hear child as directly below bedroom. Child is hysterically screaming. Child just over a year.

I've been upstairs 25 mins now and they are still crying.

Frequently hear child cry for extended periods overnight but not this hysterically and always assumed parents would be with them as I wouldn't necessarily be able to hear parents trying to calm an upset child.
Often hear them shouting at their older child.

Call Social services?

Also in the OP
Frequently hear child cry for extended periods overnight but not this hysterically and always assumed parents would be with them as I wouldn't necessarily be able to hear parents trying to calm an upset child.
**
Often hear them shouting at their older child. ….

Is this frequent enough for you then?

To be brutally and probably unfairly honest I would say not call based on the insolated fact of the matter (baby crying for 20 mins), but given the supporting information (shouting at the other child, aggression towards neighbours) I would say call

Personally if this was an every day occurence and you heard the child screaming all time I would do something about it, however I wouldn't criticise parents for being outside smoking while the child was crying, all the experts tell you if the crying gets too much walk away if they are somewhere safe and calm down.

It can get overwhelming listening to screaming, I would rather someone walked away and calmed themselve down than the potential alternative.

For a one off, I wouldn’t. Repeated instances, probably.

I have called SS on my neighbours a couple of times before, a few years ago, when we used to hear horrendous screaming and swearing directed at the (very little) children on a daily basis. I’ve no idea if anything came of it but it did settle down, so I’d hope it did.

I think I went through NSPCC actually - but it’s on them then to decide what warrants referring on. They will tell you if it doesn’t.

55 minutes!

Because it can be part of a bigger picture of neglect. If as a parent you can let your child stay hysterical for almost an hour then you're doing something wrong as a parent. Which probably means you are in other ways too.

I'm on the fence with this.

Do you know how old the child is?

My DD 3 threw a tantrum yesterday, as I wouldn't let her put the cat in the bath (no joke) she literally screamed the house down for about 45 min. I managed to get her into the bath, but she was kicking off. I was holding her arm - as she was in the bath and I didn't want her to fall - and she was screaming, get off your hurting me (I wasn't).

I know the neighbours heard, as I could hear them laughing 'seriously having a fun night' and I e spoke to them since.

Yes I agree something needs to be done/ said, but it's very tricky not knowing the full story/ bigger picture.

Christ alive. Do people on mumsnet not realise that leaving a child to cry is definitely not a criminal offence?

Some of you need to read the guidelines for neglect which is “leaving a child for prolonged periods of time”, for a baby, you’re looking at 4hours plus there to be classed as a prolonged period.

And for the posters whipping up hysterics about the poor adopted boy, hearing “shouting and slapping” is radically different to hearing a baby cry, it’s frankly disrespectful that people are trying to compare the two.

SS are not an unlimited resource, it’s people tittle tattling on their neighbour because they are annoyed/emotive/don’t like their parenting that mean genuine in need cases get bumped down the queue and contribute to tragedies.

FWIW I don’t agree with cry it out or leaving any young child crying, but I can also understand it’s not a criminal offence, nor risk of serious harm, which is what SS should be focused on.

The OP says the baby is just over a year … screamed hysterically for 55 minutes … Frequently hear child cry for extended periods overnight but not this hysterically and always assumed parents would be with them as I wouldn't necessarily be able to hear parents trying to calm an upset child.

Often hear them shouting at their older child.

Really?? It’s acceptable to leave a baby screaming hysterically for 55 minutes while you and your partner ignore it and stay outside smoking??

Smoking with a baby is gross enough

bless your middle class, outraged, cotton socks!

Hi social services,

I can hear a toddler crying...

🙄 FFS

How do you know there isn't another adult in the house sat in the room comforting the child? A family member perhaps?

You didn't hear someone go upstairs doesn't mean nobody did... did you watch the parents for the entire 55 mins? I doubt it.

Of course you don't call social services because a child is crying!!!

Not in the real world, but this is MN and its associated dramatics!

Maybe the parents are at their wits end and have gone into the garden for a break.

If you are worried or the cry felt different you can ring NSPCC for advice or non-emergency police to report who can pass on to social services. They would check information around the family and sometimes a call like that is another piece in a jigsaw that in the end may trigger a reaction that helps the child & family, Most times it will be nothing and child will be safe & it would have been a one off - but we should not be we worried about making a call, as if one day it saves one child then it's better then not calling.

You can do a 101 online form as an option too -

What's your relationship like with them? Would you be able to talk to them and ask if everything is OK?

Let me clear a few things up for you.

‘crying it out’ is not, and has never been considered neglect in the legal sense.

as a foster carer I can tell you that the law says a child is entitled to a ‘normal’ childhood. That means that some parents don’t get it all right, but it’s adequate.

Always better to report and be wrong rather than leave it. You can do it anonymously through nspcc if need be

I quite often shut the door on a crying baby. There was a spell when that was the only way to DS1 to sleep.

Report if you think it needs it though, of course.

Ring ss in the morning. Explain what you are hearing/witnesses. Ss will check their background and decide what to do. It's just a phone call but you should do it incase it's something significant. You don't have to decide if it is or isn't that's ss job.

I don't agree that "it's always better to report". SS have limited capacity to respond to reports - if every household where a child cries for an hour is reported to them, the system would break down and actual cases of neglect and abuse will go uninvestigated. Besides which, randomly accusing ordinary people of neglect does damage - its not like it does no harm at all.

Reporting a genuine concern is one thing. Reporting people who parent slightly differently than you is another.

@Geneticsbunny it takes 2 seconds for ss to look a family up. If they are known to ss this could be significant. If they are not ss likely won't do anything. Point is let ss make the decision.

Op ring the local Health Visiting team from your area perhaps and state you wish to remain anon. Pass on your concerns (perhaps parents need support with managing bed times or routines etc). Health visitor can perhaps call them to discuss how they are without making it obvious that someone reported them,

Health visitors work with social services so this will at least be recorded,

Call.

Exactly