WWYD baby next door screaming 20 mins now

[Dobbysgotthesocks]

Parents outside having a smoke.

I just came in from work. Popped upstairs to get something. Hear child crying (their bedroom next to my bathroom). Hear the bedroom door shut loudly next door. Increase in crying from child.
Next thing I know both parents are outside in their back garden. Definitely can hear child as directly below bedroom. Child is hysterically screaming. Child just over a year.

I've been upstairs 25 mins now and they are still crying.

Frequently hear child cry for extended periods overnight but not this hysterically and always assumed parents would be with them as I wouldn't necessarily be able to hear parents trying to calm an upset child.
Often hear them shouting at their older child.

Call Social services?

I'm glad my neighbours never call ss when dc was a baby. Dd screamed and cried when ever I put her down. She cried ever single night. Dh worked nights so I was alone suffering from pnd. I told the dictor, midwife and health visitor I asked for help. They all advised me to put dd in her cot/crib and leave her to cry. Every single one of these experts said this. Thank God nobody reported me.
She has grown up to be an incredibly talented and healthy person who has a very healthy sleep pattern. She did have her 'clock' wrong so slept during the daytime.

New neighbours next door have a young baby that cries a lot but the baby is well cared for. No point fretting unless it happens constantly.

My friends child had such bad reflux she cried 23 hours a day. The child was hospitalised it got so bad and my poor friend did her very best.

I remember the dr saying if she ever needed 5 mins to put the child down gently and leave it somewhere safe.

I totally believe some people are shit parents. But it could be something like that?!?

🥺🥺 that poor baby 💔. Even if they’re using the cry it out sleep training method then I don’t think at any point should the baby be crying hysterically for 55 minutes while the parents are outside.

But would they not be comforting the baby rather than let it cry it’s little heart out for nearly an hour if this was the case? 💔

I remember literature given to me saying if baby won't stop crying and I can feel myself getting angry, put baby in cot, shut door and take a break. Maybe that's what they're doing.
Can make a referral to ss but I doubt much would be done about that. Letting baby cry it out is a parenting style and not against the law.

I would report it. I would never dream of ‘sleep training’ my child like that. It is child cruelty towards a defenseless child. The parents need a wake up call. I would also consider knocking at their door to ask if everything is alright and if they are aware their child is crying hysterically on their own. No way would I be doing nothing.

My baby has just screamed from 6.55pm until 8.20pm.

Not absolutely constantly but for a good 90% of that time. Overtired, teething with a cough, she just did not want to go to bed and was furious that I was trying to make her. I have 2 other kids I was also bathing, and cajoling to bed in that time. Doors have been slammed. Stories have been read through gritted teeth. A tense round of the Game of Life Junior was played and a cup of water spilled on the board and all the paper money. 😐 Baby was rocked, shushed, tummy rubbed, extra milk offered, put down, head rubbed etc.

LOTS of screaming happened. That's life.

Honestly if I'd had a cigarette available to have in the garden I'd have jumped at the chance, and I've not smoked since university 20 years ago.

I would expect them to investigate to ascertain whether it’s part of a wider picture of abuse or neglect. Whether they would have the inclination or means to actually do that isn’t my concern, that’s on SS.

FFS.Please ask them why is your little baby left crying for so long!!!!! .also if you think they are hurting baby get on phone to services or NSPCC.

Sleep training
Poorly
Too hot due to the weather
Colic
Reflux
Teething
Night terror

Just saying.

If you are genuinely concerned then call.

The neighbours in that case heard shouting and slapping on many occasions. OP hasn't heard that, just a baby crying at bedtime. There is a difference.

You might think it's shit parenting and you don't agree with it...but what do you think ss will and should do? Remove the children from the home? Put them in care? Would that be better?

I would expect them to investigate to ascertain whether it’s part of a wider picture of abuse or neglect. Whether they would have the inclination or means to actually do that isn’t my concern, that’s on SS.

Surely abuse can occur in silence too? In which case, we may as well investigate every single family...just in case?

I think the biggest concern is that the neighbours aren’t inside trying to calm the crying baby, if it was reflux or they’re overtired or teething, and they’re not sitting outside the bedroom door and popping in every 5/10 mins to sleep train a child, they are outside and blatantly ignoring the poor mite.

Have you been watching the parents for the entire time? Could they have gone back in at any point to comfort baby? Could there be another adult in the house helping that you haven't seen?

Of course it can, what’s your point? That we shouldn’t ever report anything because abuse and neglect are a wide spectrum and it can happen in silence too? That makes no sense.

How about you have a kind word over the fence or knock on the door to see if they are OK or need any help - you know like a good neighbour.

Lots of people leave their kids to do this. Personally, I don't know how they can ignore the instinct to comfort their crying child but clearly, they can. I would keep an eye out in the future but this in itself as awful as it might seem to some of us is perfectly normal parenting for others.

But would they not be comforting the baby rather than let it cry it’s little heart out for nearly an hour if this was the case?

Putting the baby down is to calm the parents. Are you not a parent? Lots of us have had to put down a screaming child and walk away for a few minutes so we don't lose our cool. I'd only call SS if screaming was a regular thing, a one off, or only at night time? I'd put it down to normal life.

OP would have reported me to social services then.
It was quite common for DS to scream hysterically for an hour or more at a time. Nothing we did would soothe him. In the end we realised if he'd built up to a certain level of hysteria the quickest thing to do was to let him tire himself out.
Maybe OP could offer some support rather than leaping to judging?

Social services are massively overstretched
You can of course report a child crying and parents who shout sometimes but I honestly don't think they'll do anything.
I posted on here a while ago about my DDs then boyfriend how we had to beg, plead and nag SS to home him. It took hours before they eventually agreed to help
Crying child won't even result in a visit

Could you casually ask them are they sleep training the next time you see them? If they don’t respond with a yes it might give you a clue as to the situation. Our neighbours did this and half jokingly warned us although we never actually heard their baby cry and they are great parents. I know sleep training can involve crying even when done gently but yeah this sounds like rather a long time to leave a little one. Especially at that age 🙁

I'd report them, I have 3 children, my youngest is just over a year I honestly don't understand anyone who leaves small children and babies to cry. People who are saying "maybe they are doing cry it out" aka neglect them and they learn you aren't going to come and comfort them, yep still report, just because it's dressed up as a "thing" doesn't mean it isn't neglect. Smoking with a baby is gross enough without the added neglect. That poor baby probably just wants a cuddle, poor thing.

A screaming baby for 55 minutes while the parents are outside smoking, seemingly not bothered or checking, is not acceptable 😞