WWYD baby next door screaming 20 mins now

[Dobbysgotthesocks]

Parents outside having a smoke.

I just came in from work. Popped upstairs to get something. Hear child crying (their bedroom next to my bathroom). Hear the bedroom door shut loudly next door. Increase in crying from child.
Next thing I know both parents are outside in their back garden. Definitely can hear child as directly below bedroom. Child is hysterically screaming. Child just over a year.

I've been upstairs 25 mins now and they are still crying.

Frequently hear child cry for extended periods overnight but not this hysterically and always assumed parents would be with them as I wouldn't necessarily be able to hear parents trying to calm an upset child.
Often hear them shouting at their older child.

Call Social services?

But the OP hasn’t heard slapping she has heard a child crying - a door slam- a child still crying - parents smoking - child falling to sleep.

My son aged 1used to scream for fun, literally the most high pitched awful scream, because he realised he could make a noise he found hilarious. It must have sounded like I was pulling his arms and legs off multiple times a day.
It's a difficult one. Child may be being abused, on the other hand, the parents may have had an absolute hell of a day with them, and may have just gone outside to take a breather.
I've walked away and left my children cry as babies when it got too overwhelming. Taken 5 mins before I went back in. I don't think that makes me a bad parent.

SS won't be interested in a baby who has been crying for 20mins. There are children in crisis and families at serious immediate risk of harm that are not actually being checked/supported. A crying baby isn't going to be anywhere near even the threshold for checking up on.

Would SS not have some duty to log the call? Then maybe if they have had a call from neighbours on other side or nursery (with the older kid) it forms a pattern that might ring alarm bells.

After 20 minites, and repeated incidents, yes, I would. Cry it out isn't leaving your child hysterical for that long. That is pure emotional neglect.

An entirely isolated incident then no- but I’m waiting a drip feed.

Wtf!

social services for a crying baby?

get a fucking grip you absolute danger.

It wouldn't occur to me to report them.

If you feel worried then the right thing to do is to call. social services are the ones to decide whether to act on it or not- they might not do anything with the information - however if there is a pattern of concern with this family then your report adds to the overall picture and enables them to act. Do you know your neighbours at all ?

I would report in the basis of shouting at the other one too

Social services really wouldn't be able to cope if they had to investigate everytime a parent shouted at their child

Wow how judgemental are you! Good job you're not my neighbour when my twins are on one.

If they are sleep training - might not be to your taste - but really none of your business

Wether you agree with it or not, this is a perfectly normal parenting practice and on its own is not something social services will be interested in. In fact parents are often told by professionals to step away and leave the room if all is getting to stressful as long as the baby is safe.
I've not left baby to cry like that often but I do remember one occasion where it had taken me over three hours trying to get my baby to sleep with no success, I had no option but to leave them alone and let them settle themselves at that point.

I'd call SS 100%.

Child screamed for a total of 55 minutes. It was 20 when I started writing the post.

This is why patents can't sleep train their kids. They are terrified of being reported by their neighbours.

I'm sure there was a thread on here once where a woman had heard a mum in a supermarket call her daughter a pest. The woman was actually debating whether she should have reported her!

It might not be brilliant parenting but I really can't see how that alone would warrant a ss visit?

Call now please

Yeah, and for the length of time that this apparently went on for that’s a really shit thing to do.
Actual ‘cry it out’ where you simply just don’t do a bloody thing until the child exhausts themselves into sleep is an appalling way to parent.

If they stepped outside with a copy of Chaucer might you have still report them, extra judgment for the smoking?

Absolutely call. 25 minutes hysterically crying is unacceptable. 10-15 mins if you just need to get away and gather yourself if feeling overwhelmed but 25 mins! Snd the facts its happening often. It needs bringing to professional services attention. Clearly there are issues somewhere and the family can get help. Sometimes ots hard to ask for help so it may be a blessing in disguise.

Thing is it's not OP's job to assess if that child is being neglected, that's social care's job, except they don't know unless people report things. This is part of a pattern, what OP doesn't know is any other parts of the pattern already reported to social care by the school, the HV, the GP, probation officer etc, social care will. If it's enough to concern you OP is enough to report, nothing happens if there's nothing for social care to be alarmed by.

Yeah, and for the length of time that this apparently went on for that’s a really shit thing to do.
Actual ‘cry it out’ where you simply just don’t do a bloody thing until the child exhausts themselves into sleep is an appalling way to parent

That may be true...but what do you think social services will do? Do you think children should be put into care if their parents let them cry it out? What do you think should happen?

You know nothing!

It's the context around that crying baby which is important here. And I can guarantee it will be looked into, even if its moved on to early help providers. If a report of concern comes in they have a duty to look into that concern one way or another