Anxiety about trip doing high risk activities my son is not wanting to take part in

[Liglig]

Liglig · Today 02:36

Both me and my son are really anxious about an upcoming school trip where he will be going on a year 5 trip 2 hours away in Kent. The problem we have is the type of activities that they will be doing. It is highly intense stuff like zipwire, climbing walls, boating and the like, all things that my son is fearful of and me to be frank, he is worried about being made to do risky stuff he does not want to take part in, and 8 too worry about him taking part in these types of activities. This has added to his already existing anxiety about being away from me for 4 days. They are not allowed to have contact with their parents except for by post. Am I being over protective? My 9 year old son is absolutely certain he does not want to go and gets tearful at the thought of being forced to go. I know they will have health and safety measures in place but I also cannot shake off the anxiety of something bad happening and my son has never been interested or had a desire to take part in these slightly high risk type of activities. Would you still send your child on the trip with all of these worries? Many thanks.

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My daughter just did a trip like this in Year 6. She was also very nervous (and so was I!) but she was absolutely fine and she loved it.

It was a bit unsettling that I couldn't contact her directly but it was totally fine in the end and the teachers sent a daily text to let us all know what they were up to.

Don't stop him from going. These are important growing up experiences.

But these aren't high risk activities.
You are putting your anxieties onto your child.

Maybe "high risk" sounds a bit exaggerated what I mean is more challenging activities that involve mustering up the courage, similar to going on a scary roller coaster. My son has always naturally not liked heights or really physical stuff where going high up is required, he's not keen on rides either whenever we go to theme parks.

I will try my best to encourage him either way but I ultimately will not force him as me being forced into doing things as a kid just put more fear into me.

I appreciate all of your replies and I do try not to let my anxieties show in front of my son. I would say he's be one more anxious since he hit the age of 5 plus, he is a naturally gentle boy and worries about doing his work properly and making others happy etc.

I am currently trying to encourage him to try a sleepover at a friend's house, he only lives a few doors away but he's still not keen even if I offer to sleepover with him! I'll keep trying.

Being forced is psychologically very different to choosing to be challenged. Maybe try to find middling activities that stretch but don't scare.

I still remember the absolute star of a guide who watched me sit looking at the drop off saying that I didn't want to do something for ages. He finally said, "I know you've said you don't want to do it. I think you do and I think you will regret it if you don't. I'm not going to push you though." I did the activity (the only girl who did!) and remember it very proudly. Encouraging someone to do something outside their comfort zone is a real skill.

Wow that's amazing for a four day trip!! Understand you not wanting to pay if not sure he'll go but totally normal for him to be a bit nervous and say he'll miss you. I would imagine most kids feel like that beforehand.