Would you share with a random bloke to avoid booking two rooms?

[ClinicallyProven]

I'm going away with a hobby group. Usually those of us who are single seem to be able to work things out and share with the same sex. This time a smaller group is going and there's only me and him who won't be taking partners. He's with a very long term partner who doesn't like to attend these things and I'm single.

I've known him for a long time in this group and have always found him lovely and respectful, both to me and about his partner. I wouldn't say I know him well or even that we're friends though. We have been drunk together (which I always think is a good test 😆) and still he's nothing but respectful.

Anyway, it's been suggested (not by either of us!) that we could share. I think I'm comfortable to share with him for a couple of nights, but I'm not sure how it looks or whether it puts his DP in an uncomfortable position.

FWIW it saves us each about £120, which is a significant sum to me, but wouldn't mean I couldn't go. It is frustrating how everything costs more when you're single though!

He might hate the idea, I'm just mulling it over at this stage.

No, but I wouldn't like to share a room with anyone I didn't know well.

Just no.

I think this encapsulates perfectly the reservation that some of us would have about sharing - or about our OH sharing - with an opposite sex stranger, even though we feel there is absolute trust in our relationship.

Would the group split the cost so they all pay an extra tenner or whatever and you pay an extra £60 or something like that? My husband and I have done various hobby trips separately where we've ended up in mixed rooms/dorms and it wouldn't bother me but clearly the responses on here suggest that many people feel differently.

I have travelled with a gay friend but never shared a room with him. I'd find it dreadful as he's on the large size and sweats a lot. Fine most of the time but I don't want to chance seeing him in his Y fronts or whatever. Or share a bath room. If it was just a case of sleeping in the same room but separate beds I would in an absolute emergency but I wouldn't be happy about it.

Not now no, 20 years ago I would have though but then I was a bit daft in those days.

Big fat NO.

I would and I have. Never had to fight any of them off in the middle of the night. Maybe I just know nicer men.

Is anyone suggesting this is the issue? To me it's about privacy- his and mine- rather than thinking someone is going to make a move. I'd also hate to share with a woman I didn't know well.

Some people have said it, yes. Even more have implied it.

Are you always this dismissive of other people’s boundaries when they are slightly different to yours?

Nope.

I would only share if the guy was openly gay and we had already some kind of basic friendship established through the hobby group.

Not with a straight man, partnered or not...I would just find it awkward and I would not be able to relax.

I wouldn't have a problem with my DP sharing and I wouldn't have a problem with shading. But I've travelled all over the world and stayed in all sorts of weird scenarios. MN doesn't trust men but in RL it's kind of different I think, especially if there is trust in relationships

This, for sure

Is anyone suggesting this is the issue? To me it's about privacy- his and mine- rather than thinking someone is going to make a move. I'd also hate to share with a woman I didn't know well.

yes, lots of them rtft

Can you ask if one of the couples could spend the nights apart and split sharing with you both so the woman shares with you and the man shares with him?

Would anyone really agree to this? As the single I’d feel very awkward about it too.

Not the 'it's a Mumsnet' trump card

This isn't a mn thing it's a monogamy thing. Most people wouldn't find it appropriate. I doubt my OH would try anything in this situation but it's just too close. Don't know why anyone else would care what others boundaries are.

I spent years working in a place that hosted group/hobby activities weeks/weekends away. The extra-marital shagging barely ever happened in the mixed sex hobby groups. They were there to do their activity, went to back knackered and wanting to be fresh for the early start the next day. Stag dos, lads trips and mixed sex company away events where everyone was in single sex twin rooms on the other hand... well..

This is my experience too. Far more extra marital shenanigans at corporate events where everyone has their own room than ever on these club weekends, but that's not really what my question was. I'm confident we won't have sex 😆

No sane person would think that any man and any woman left alone in a hotel room would end up having sex guaranteed 🙄

That's not the point. It's the same reason I wouldn't, for example, want to have a chat with my brother while he was having a shower. It's boundaries. Not about guaranteed shagging. Jesus. People can be awfully thick headed

No need to be rude! It's a boundary issue for some, not for others.

Well, since the point that "don't be so silly everyone - they aren't going to end up having sex duh. Trust issues much?" (paraphrasing obviously) has been made and responded to a number of times, it does get a little tiresome when people keep making the same point.

Hell no!

My partner shared with a woman in similar circumstances. I was ok with it. Don't know how she felt as I've never met her but it was a few years ago and there were no problems!
I can see why people are saying no, but seriously it should be fine.

Lol

So we can all be ok sharing with a demi boy neutrois ambonec?
Cos who tf knows what sex that is.