How often do you take your kids for big days out?

[pancakes222]

I know I shouldn't compare (comparison is the thief of joy and all that!) but I often see friends taking their kids out for big days out eg theme parks, London shows, zoo, Lego land etc but when I suggest the same to DH he just says it's a waste of money that we don't really have, that the kids won't remember it, will probably just whinge all the way round etc and that they are just as happy playing at their grandmas or going to the park. DD is age 6 and DS is 2.5.

I feel like I did used to take DD more places like this when she was younger and the only one because I only had to pay for the one child whereas these places do now add up when paying for 2 adults 2 children.

We don't have loads of money but I do love experiences and worry at the back of my mind that we aren't giving those same experiences for second born. I also think on the other hand maybe DH does have a point and maybe it is better just getting by with free local trips at the moment and when they are older they may well enjoy bigger experiences then instead perhaps....

Suppose I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance that I'm not the only one who isn't taking the kids big places and wondering whether people share DHs views? (In which case I should probably stop nagging him! and also to stop comparing!)

officiallondontheatre.com/kids-week/

First day is today to buy tickets. Will be complete mayhem at 10am but over the next few days is easier. Stuff like Lion King sells out although they do add dates.

There are at least nine stage shows that would work for young kids on there.

I have one 3 yo and we are in London. We have two memeberships (zoo and Royal palaces) so we can go a few times per month. We bring our lunches (but may buy a pack of crisps or an ice cream whilst out) so the costs are low spread over the year.

I’m very much in the camp of they won’t remember it but I will.

They are now 5 and 10 and we maybe do ‘big days out’ 3/4/5 times a year - not often but we also go away. It’s getting more frequent now they are older but I’ve never put anything off because they wouldn’t remember.

We did mainly petting farms, zoos (I love zoos), NT and parks at that age plus the London museums but then we live in outer London, they are free, we had annual train tickets anyway and took a packed lunch.

We went to DLP when DD was nearly 6, she absolutely loved it and talked about it for years. We got Merlin passes as a family Christmas gift when she was nearly 7 and used it extensively as a one-off.

A show - we go to the theatre regularly but didn't take DD unitl she was 8 and we were sure she would enjoy it and it was worth the money. We did local children shows like the Gruffalo before suitable for pre-school onwards but that was £15/seat, not £75. And not on a regular basis.

I also did a lot with DD on my own in the school holidays, you could take the older for a day out and the younger stays with the other parent and does something toddler friendly.

Theme parks and zoos, 1-2 a year.

cinema, farm mid range stuff 3-4 a year.

We have a lot of down time at weekends or do park/beach trips

Every year we have a two week UK holiday where we'll rent a holiday cottage and have a "big day out" every day, theme park, zoo, steam railway, national park etc. The days out make the holiday.

The rest of the year we just go just go to the beach or the park so we can save up for the annual two weeks of days out! All these days out are expensive £100.00 + for a family of 4.

Our kids are 6 and 3.

Normally 2 or 3 times a month (3.5yr old). I believe it really helps her education/development, plus she loves it

I think it depends on your budget and what you enjoy.

A big day out for us might just be a trip to a local town, a free museum and a picnic. If you use a bus or train to get there it can be even more of an event.

Or look at cou try parks - often all you pay is parking but can be there all day. Some near us have play trails, play grounds, sculpture trails.

In the summer months look at free splash parks (or cheap splash parks) in parks. Even if they are 30 mins to and hour away they can give you a fun day out. Although my kids prefer a paddle in a stream.

A day at the coast building sand castles....

These are all cheaper than the £30 each entry to a theme park, but can make great memories.

I'd take the 6yo on my own and leave the 2yo with DP.

A 6yo will remember fun days out and shouldn't miss out because you have a younger DC and a grumpy/ stingy dp

I have DD6 we go to the zoo normally once a year or so for her birthday. Don't do theme parks, Lego land etc. But we're constantly having days out just as others say smaller/cheaper - local farms, NT, EH, beaches, nice walks and picnics, parks, cinema sometimes, local museum and smaller attractions that we can get annual pass too. Anyway she doesn't feel deprived and I am not at all worried that's she missing out.

Theatre - never with a 2 year old! But maybe for a pantomime or childrens performance with the older one. Never West End - growing up that was a Big Event when we became teenagers so we’ve sort of carried that on I guess.

Theme Parks. Nope with a 2 year old but every few years as a Big Treat with older children. Certainly not every year.

Zoos. Yes to children of any age, less than once a year here but if we had one nearer we’d probably have annual membership.

we do have National Trust Membership. Visit our local stately home 1-2ce a month. Run around the gardens, picnic in the parkland, sometimes go round the house if it’s wet or if they’ve decorated for eg Christmas. Take longer trips in the school holidays to visit properties further away and they’d be big days out I guess.

the point isn’t that the 2 year old will remember it, it’s that you will all enjoy it, and you’ll remember it. Ok what you might end up remembering is the frustration of paying an entrance fee only to spend an hour watching your child jump up and down in a puddle on the driveway rather than gasping in awe at the elephants. But you might also remember them being fascinated by the rhino poo and laughing at the penguins and wanting a pet lion.

We don’t do costly things every weekend. We do buy annual membership of things we will get to regularly. And then we can pop in for a couple of hours, or spend a full day, and not have to worry about it.

and yes going to the park, a local farm, visiting friends and family is also just as much fun for children. And no, your child won’t be deprived if they don’t get to do something amazing and wonderful every weekend. But the ability to do something awesome occasionally is really good too, if it’s affordable.

This is all part of culture capital really isn't it? Ensuring your children have a broad range of experiences across all kinds of areas.

I think there's huge benefits to getting out & about with young children, even if you think they don't remember it, those experiences are going in & helping them form an impression of the world around them.

We have a mid-to-late teen now & we've always done lots with her, across all sorts of budgets.

We live in beautiful countryside close to a city so when she was little we did loads of forests walks with the dogs & a picnic. Paddling in streams & looking at fish & frogs. Picking blackberries. Visiting deserted beaches even in winter wrapped up & in wellies.

We went on cheap days out that involves a short ferry ride across an estuary, or a train ride to another town.

We visited castles & ruins & forts

We balanced those v cheap / free days with a lot of travel. We're not into theme parks so they hold absolutely no attraction for us at all. But we really do prioritise travelling & go away up to 4 times a year. We mostly go for shorter breaks which allows us to go more often.

We've brought dd to a huge amount of places in Europe as well as further afield.

We visit a lot of museums & galleries & famous sites wherever we go & balance that with age appropriate things for Dd so when we went to Paris when she was 8 we did the Eiffel tower & the louvre & Notre dame but we also spent a day in jardin du Luxembourg sailing boats & visited DLP & did a boat ride down the Seine etc

We love exploring & seeing the world with dd

There’s a lit of middle ground between ´never’ and ´every weekend’ OP. Could you agree with your husband to do 1or 2 big days out a year for example? And there’s also a variety of ´big day out’ type activities and they don’t all cost the same. An afternoon at a local farm park will be hugely cheaper than a weekend at EuroDisney. You can also split the kids up for trips sometimes if the age difference means they like very different things.

I have 5 dc aged between 16 and 8. We do a big day out once a month in term time and once a week in school holidays. However we save a lot of money by having a membership to something as our christmas present from pil. This year we are doing national trust and next year we will do a local theme park. We don't go anywhere where we don't have a membership for apart from free stuff and sometimes soft play.

When they were little we only did that sort of big trip occasionally, maybe once or twice a year. To be honest they liked simple things jist as much - like going to the playground, play dates, going to the beach (we have one locally).

It is different once they're older, they can pester you to go places for a start! But they also get more out of it and have the stamina to enjoy a full day out without getting tired or upset or whingy.

I mean - he's right that small children won't remember going to the zoo or a theme park, but you'll remember and you'll be able to show them photos etc too.

I don't have DC but when I was little we maybe went once a month or so - normally to the local zoo or Pleasurewood Hills which was our local theme park. Sometimes it would be to the beach but that was very weather/season dependent.

Only on special occasions. We have been to legoland, Lots of London shows etc but it's usually because the grandparents want to take them out and pay. We do live close to London though so regularly go there and do free activities/museums/galleries.

Yep, that’s what I’d do too!

DH he just says it's a waste of money that we don't really have, that the kids won't remember it

^ I can't ever imagine describing spending money on my child as a waste 🙁

I agree with PP upthread talking about cultural capital. Even if your child won't remember it, it's still a good experience for them, broadening their minds as well as memories for you.
How do you expect a child to understand the etiquette of going to the cinema/theatre/restaurants if you don't take them to age appropriate ones so they can learn?
We having NT & EH membership, as well as annual passes to a couple of local attractions - DC are 7 & 4 & we're based in SW. We've taken them to Paulton's Park & Legoland before - & going the Legoland again next month - DD loves the big rides & DS loves the play areas. But we'd only do this sort of thing once or twice a year. We regularly go to parks, zoos, aquariums, forests, beaches, soft play, play parks & other attractions locally, at least 2-3 times a month. Most are free or cheap (parking etc). We visit London once or twice a year & try & do one big thing with family (Natural History museum recently). We take them to local theatres for age appropriate performances once or twice a year, & DD has been to larger regional theatres to see Lion King & Beauty & the Beast.
We often take picnics to cut costs & the food is usually better.
Whilst they may not remember all of these days out, it builds on their experiences & we have a great time too. I think if you have the means to do some days out you should - they don't have to be expensive.

Have you got a Tesco clubcard? It's really worth it if you use Tesco regularly. We managed to do the London eye, Shrek adventure, Madame Tussaud's and the open top bus tour of London last year on vouchers alone

What do you class as a ‘big’ day out?

Second the Tesco club card. Things like lego land definitely wait until their older as there's not much for smaller ones to do and the queues are long.

Kelloggs often have adult goes free with paying child offers. We've done well with those.

I don't entirely buy into don't bother they won't remember logic tbh. I my eldest to the aquarium when she was 1 and half and she had the best time and talked about it for years after. She may not remember now but it was still a great experience that she carried with her for while. That said, you could get some days in with your eldest.

Don't worry about frequency. Some of the happiest days are the simplest and with kids it's all night how you sell things and the enthusiasm you bring to the occasion.

Mine hardly ever did this. Was mainly a grandparent thing to do with them. Zero to do with money/costs and all to do with the fact I plain couldn't be bothered.

They're all doing fine as adults and older kids without the regular big days out.