Colleague is super weird about my pregnancy?

[newbluecurtains]

NCd as my other posts could be outing and don't want to start drama at work!

For context, I'm 25 weeks pregnant, I rarely ever bring it up at work as I don't want to be an annoying person that just talks about my pregnancy all the time. But occasionally I need to bring it up eg. if I will be out for a morning for our 20 week scan where we will find out the gender. When I came back every colleague I saw was excited to ask about the gender and she didn't say a word to me.

If I ever do mention anything - eg. the first time the baby kicked at work, I was excited! She will literally ignore me. The other day I bent down to pick something up off the floor and I got a really sharp pain. I sort of sucked in my breath in pain, held still for a minute, then straightened up slowly. We were the only people in the room and she was stood right next to me as we had been talking, she said nothing. I then said 'oh that really hurt', she walked away.

I think these are the only times I've ever brought up my pregnancy myself. Other colleagues regularly ask me how it's going, if we've thought of names, etc, normal small talk, but she has never once mentioned anything to do with it. It's not that I think others HAVE to ask about my pregnancy, but it's to the point that it's weird to never once say anything - particularly when she knows I've just come from a scan or I'm in pain literally in front of her. If another colleague has asked me about it in front of her, she will step in to change the subject while I'm answering their question, sometimes literally interrupting me to change the subject.

Not sure why I'm posting just...it's weird? She's older than me (in her 50s) with 2 children of her own. It's not just that she's not interested (I don't expect anyone to be!) it's that it seems to actively irritate her. Why??

She doesn't have to be interested and you shouldn't expect her to be. You shouldn't even be giving this a thought but getting on with your pregnancy.

I'm at the age where people taking the 20 week scan are more looking to see if there are abnormalities which could lead to the need for an abortion,rather than worrying what sex the baby is.

I find it odd that people who are not close friends would want to talk about this,its so personal and potentially traumatic.

The women makes polite chit chat with you about the things she is interested in,she is a work collage nothing more. Why should she be bothered that you are pregnant,to her it's nothing special,all it means is someone will be covering your job for X numbers of months.

I get you are excited about being pregnant but it's not that interesting to talk about after the initial oh,when are you due type thing.

It's the most important thing to you,but not others. It will be the same with your baby.

She's not weird at all, she's just not interested in your pregnancy! She doesn't have to be.

It is a bit strange that she talks family talk with you but maybe she's from a generation where you didn't really mention your pregnancy at work and she thinks you're oversharing.

To be honest, if you mentioned things like your scan etc to me when you're off to it, I'd be polite and smile but I wouldn't want to know more because to me, that's personal to you, your partner and so on and not to me, who's a work colleague.

This is a weird thread though

I am exactly like your work colleague. Just not wanting to hear anything about the pregnancy of my co worker. She talks about her pregnancy just like you, which seems like nothing but I have lost my baby which apparently was conceived by coincidence the same time as hers. So yes, I am very sad, and hearing anything related to pregnancy brings me into tears. Especially since everything she says about her baby I should be living it too at the same time. So yep, I will not ask, not answer, and not show any interest in anything relating to her pregnancy. Because it destroys me.

OP's baby will be over two and a half now. Hopefully things between her and the colleague are back to normal now.

Hopefully she has learnt to respect her Co-workers wishes to stay away from her private life in the meantime. Can be useful for her second child maybe

Maybe she just isn’t interested? Some people on the forum have written about not being interested in dc other than their own. I confess, I am deeply disinterested in a colleague’s pregnancy, despite really liking the colleague. Fortunately, she doesn’t really share unless asked.