Is it my imagination or are volunteers less forthcoming these days?

[Limesaregreen]

Have name changed. My youngest has left school now but I still get the odd call to 'help out'. Now when they were at school I was more than happy to help out, sat on the PTA at both primary and secondary, extra pair of hands on school trips, sports trips, school concerts, cycle proficiency etc. etc. as did loads of the other Mums and Dads whether they worked or not.
After my youngest left nursery, I heard that certain things that used to happen, no longer did in the same way (nursery eventually closed as no-one volunteered to be on the committee to run it). Cycling proficiency no longer happened after youngest left school as no-one wanted to get involved. Very few school trips seem to happen now and high school is struggling to get people to help for prom night and end of year show (hence the call).
I've said I'm not available. I've done my time and moved on and feel no guilt about that, it's for current parents to step up to the mark. But is this the new norm now??? What's it like for those still with kids at various ages in school??

😌

I don’t mind helping out here and there but the thought of signing up to something that’s week after week, month after month on top of a demanding full time job that brings a heavy mental load with it makes me want to cry. Maybe I’m just a weak person or something but I’m knackered and I help people all day, every day, and there’s only so much in me to give. I know other people who do my job and do volunteering in the evenings so it must be possible but I don’t know, I’m burnt out or spent or something but I just can’t.

Haven't read the full thread but this is always a topic I find interesting. My twins are 25 now so I've been out of the schooling days for a long time now but I still volunteer in the local kids group (I volunteered at the schools when my two were in school). I think it's important for kids to have community activities and memories of spending time with other local kids as they get older. For the jubilee we did a children's tea party in our village hall- I made a large cake and made bunting to decorate the hall. They all really enjoyed the afternoon. We also do a kids movie afternoon in the school holidays- I quite often bring films that my two enjoyed when they were younger that might not been shown as much on tv nowadays. I do think there definitely are less volunteers nowadays (which ultimately means less activities for the kids) but the ones that do really are great- I've met some great people recently who give up a lot of time for the kids

It costs money to volunteer and people are cutting back. Petrol to activity, uniform, buying stuff that doesn’t get claimed back (I’ll just get that for Guides and put it through with my shopping). Guide holiday I paid for my place as a leader (the girls didn’t believe I’d had to pay to mind them)
It’s not just the weekly commitment of volunteering it’s the additional training requirements. Pre covid training would have been in person and more social. The 3 hour 7pm - 10pm Guide safeguarding course on zoom after a full day on my work pc was the last thing I needed. Full Sunday given up on a first aid course (plus petrol as was miles away) Duplicating training - eg TA who has done safeguarding 3 still has to do course?!

The best way to get volunteers is the opt out option. All the nurseries and playgroups my kids attended had a rota for doing dishes and tidying up. So every parent/career was included. If you couldn’t do a shift you swapped. Very very few folk missed their slot and no one felt run ragged because the load was shared.
And I’m all for the blunt approach, something like the ‘ok if we get no volunteers then your kids don’t get to do such and such’.
i still volunteer but for other things where I don’t feel tied down by it and failing that, I’ll go out and pick up litter.

But I appreciate the honesty of those who say they just have nothing in the tank to manage it. Everyone is different and some folk are just better placed to offer themselves more. I’ve recently had to care for an elderly relative and will freely admit I don’t like doing it. It’s not in my genetic make up so I salute those wonderful people who can do that sort of caring either as a profession or as a volunteer.

By nurseries, presumably you don't mean paid childcare ones? Because in all honesty I would resent paying fees and still being roped in to help.
Playgroups run by unpaid staff, then yes fair enough. This is what DDs brownie group did in the end.

ImAving0ops Yes is the play school type run by committee. My mum worked in one. 2 paid staff but needed 3 people for ratios. Rota so a volunteer covered a slot. They just allocating a slot per child per term - didn’t matter who covered it dad, granny etc. It was much cheaper than a nursery due to volunteer element. If you didn’t want to volunteer then you’d use a more expensive normal nursery with all paid staff.

I think many people are now not only struggling with work but home life too. I know personally that people who seem to have loads of time and are frowned upon for not offering their services are stuck with not only caring for their family but also elderly relatives too. shift work also seems to play a part. I do think and agree with many posters though that the last 3 years instead of drawing us all together has made so many people reassess their own boundaries and it has turned society on its head,with distrust,fear and nervousness. I think moe than ever people seem to feel the you dont know what tomorrow wil bring so want to spend every ounce of time with people they hold dear.

I think people sometimes forget that most volunteering involves a LOT of social interaction and really putting yourselves out there. It’s hard for people with a fairly quiet introverted nature like me. I love my FT job working with people the whole day, I really enjoy the interaction, but it’s literally non stop people and at the end of an exhausting 9 hour day I just want to go home to my quiet house and retreat on my own (ish - I have a DH and teens) for a few hours. The thought of going back out and mixing socially with strangers again makes my heart sink, to be honest.

Others who also work FT may be working from home or in a very quiet office all day mostly working on their own with plenty of time with their own thoughts. They may be the natural extrovert type and get their energy from social interactions in the evening and actively seek that.

I really do think it’s not as simple as “well our volunteers all work FT so everyone else should be able to”. Everyone’s situations is different.

I also think they workplaces have had their budgets cut so much that working FT now involves covering work that had been done by more people a few years back. Things were very different in the late 90s with scheduled tea breaks, sacred lunch hours, strictly sticking to your hours. Less pressured so you can have a laugh with colleagues. Now staff cutbacks mean you get in early to try to get ahead, you get your head down the minute you get there and slog away all day, proper tea breaks have disappeared, lunch is eaten at your desk, you are expected to stay late as goodwill even if you’re not well-paid. The fun is gone from a lot of workplaces and people are just drained after a fulltime day at work these days.

it used to be the case that 2 parents who worked FT meant that they probably had a cleaner so minimal housework to do. They certainly didn’t have the same stress levels about rising petrol or energy prices or mortgage affordability.

of COURSE people are less willing to volunteer these days.

State pension age for women has gone from 60 to 66 and the number of NI contribution years has gone up to 35, reducing the pool of newly retired women who may have time to volunteer (that’s if their time wasn’t taken up with caring for grandchildren.)

I don’t necessarily think that the decline has been that recent. Around 15 years ago, DH used to volunteer for a kids/youth group with a lot of activities. He stopped doing it because in his words, it stopped being a learning experience for kids and turned into a dumping ground for entitled parents wanting childcare and expecting the moon on a stick.

eh ?
You were living in a different world from me
I've not had 'scheduled tea breaks' in any job (started work at the start of the 80s).
We definitely didn't have a cleaner in the 1990s - do you know how high our mortgage interest rates were ??

This is such a valid point

I really do think it’s not as simple as “well our volunteers all work FT so everyone else should be able to”

I don't think that is being said.
Those of us who do volunteer have been responding to posts saying "I can't volunteer because I work FT" by pointing out that many, many volunteers also work FT.
I agree that we are all different and people have different amounts of energy and different life circumstances.
Volunteering is literally voluntary. No-ne is saying everyone should.

I was on the PTA for five years when DDs were small, while I was also working four days a week. But to be honest then I used to be someone who'd stick my hand up for everything, take on too much and I got burned out and depressed. It took me two years+ to recover from that. Now I work full time and just get involved in things ad hoc from time to time in the local community, but I much prefer spending my free time keeping fit and healthy and gardening to volunteering- I wouldn't want to give up any of my exercise classes now I've got into a routine. I did actually put myself forward to be a trustee of a community organisation when a vacancy came up, but after an initial acknowledgement, I never heard back from them, so I assume they already had someone else in mind.

Also before my DF died in 2019, he was ill and in and out of hospital so I never felt I could commit to anything. Plus my teenage DDs need me - DD2 has been school refusing since 2020 which is not exactly easy. I just think there is enough mental load with work, family, running a house and trying to keep myself fit and well to not want to take on other committments.

@Kite22 I had scheduled breaks at work in the 90s. As did dh. We both did work longer than contracted hours though, once in 'careers' rather than 'jobs'.

@Rosehugger I always assumed that when my dc were older I'd be swimming in free time. I have a teen who suffers with anxiety. Don't know if these things just weren't acknowledged as much when I was younger or if it's modern life, but there seem to be a lot of kids struggling with school and needing additional support. People don't always appreciate how demanding it is on the parents.
I did a fair bit of volunteering in school when my dc were smaller but I just don't have the headspace these days, what with looking after my dc and worrying about my parents!

Over the past few years I have come to the conclusion it is how we are wired to some extent but also how we were raised.

If I look back at my family, both sets of grandparents volunteered, Scouts for 40+ years on one side, both of them - its how they met, the other side, Lions, Church, Playgroup, Village events, you name it they were involved. My parents, mainly my mum was on any committee going, PTA, Save the Children, multiple church groups, Carnival Committee, Choir treasurer etc. So for me volunteering is normal and part of life.

However I have asked others about this - when we get an email from the PTA I spend days agonising about how I can help and trying to rearrange commitments to make it work, others just read it, think that doesn't work and delete and move on never to think of it again!

As a volunteer who needs to recruit others to save units from closing, I just wish people would say they aren't interested or its not their thing. Listing all the reasons why not can irritate when I am stood there thinking - yep so do I, ie young family, busy job, etc etc.

I think people fall into two categories - those who derive enjoyment/satisfaction from volunteering and joining in and those who don't. But if you try to say to someone who likes being involved in lots of community events, that it isn't your thing and you don't want to, they tend to take offence. People who do all these things seem to believe that it's what everyone should be doing, as if you owe it to the community. But other people just want to do their own thing and not be part of a community as such. They'd rather pay more and not be asked to man a stall at the school fete etc.

It costs money to volunteer and people are cutting back

yes I was thinking about that today. I officiate at athletics events and there is a constant lack of officials, which has got worse since covid. As well as there being too many events and too few officials, I think the cost of fuel may also be having an effect now too. Some events pay travel expenses, but they can't necessarily afford to, and I wouldn't eg travel from say Cardiff to Leicester to officiate if it was going to cost me ££££ in petrol.

I also agree about the community thing. I will volunteer for certain things because I like doing it. But I would hate anything involving "forced fun" - whether as a volunteer or a participant. So there's no way I would get involved in eg a Jubilee street party or tea party or carnival or "family fun day" etc.

It’s not just the weekly commitment of volunteering it’s the additional training requirements

this is another thing too - England Athletics have recently introduced compulsory training modules in safeguarding and first aid for officials which cost money. A lot of running/athletics clubs will cover the cost, but many won't, and it's an additional barrier for some people.

@ImAvingOops I think you are right - people with teenagers and elderly parents at the same time often have a lot on their plate.

Re: scheduled breaks, maybe it depends on sector, type of team.
Customer service roles with rota'd "front desk" type of advisory roles in education definitely had a morning break scheduled into their rotas.

Should have specified the cleaner thing, I guess.
I was thinking of "in the past" as being in general terms.
My parents in the 80s, if they knew anyone where both parents worked in professional roles full time then yes, they had a cleaner.
It was kind of expected they would.

Re: interest rates, yes, we bought our first property late 90s so do realise that interest rates were once very different from now.
That said, I sometimes get fed up of the older generation banging on about housing and interest rates when they bought, so recently I did some playing around with inflation calculators and rightmove.
In the mid 80s when interest rates were in double figures my parents were still able to buy a 4 bed detached in a nice area on an interest-only mortgage.
If you ONLY factor in inflation
(never mind the actual house price increases), then if they were at that stage of their lives now and buying now they'd basically only be able to afford a small 3 bed semi in a rough area, and that's with a very low interest rate.

With our own house, doing the same calculations, we would now be priced out of the area, or if we wanted to stay in this area instead of an average 3 bed semi on a nice road that we bought in 2003, we'd be looking at a 2 bed flat instead in a not so nice road. That's JUST factoring in inflation. That doesn't even take into account the fact that house prices have in fact overtaken inflation. And that's with interest rates lower than what they were in 2003 when we bought our house. It's the affordability that just isn't there. People who bought when house prices were far far lower just don't realise.

As a volunteer who needs to recruit others to save units from closing, I just wish people would say they aren't interested or its not their thing. Listing all the reasons why not can irritate when I am stood there thinking - yep so do I, ie young family, busy job, etc etc.

It's that inner "so do I" attitude that you just know people have when they ask you to volunteer and you explain your circumstances that makes you feel like a failure at life.

You do realise that everyone has different energy levels. Everyone's circumstances are subtly different. I don't want to have to explain what my husband's job entails to demonstrate that it has an effect on my free time availability, for example. I'm sure others wouldn't want to explain that their teen has mental health issues and they are worried about them and do not want to leave them alone at the moment. And others wouldn't want to start going into details about their health issues having an effect on their energy levels. All to some randomer approaching them in the school playground or a kid's football event.

If you're so impatient with other people giving you the reasons they can't volunteer then maybe you're not as happy to give up your time as you seem to think you are.