Is it my imagination or are volunteers less forthcoming these days?

[Limesaregreen]

Have name changed. My youngest has left school now but I still get the odd call to 'help out'. Now when they were at school I was more than happy to help out, sat on the PTA at both primary and secondary, extra pair of hands on school trips, sports trips, school concerts, cycle proficiency etc. etc. as did loads of the other Mums and Dads whether they worked or not.
After my youngest left nursery, I heard that certain things that used to happen, no longer did in the same way (nursery eventually closed as no-one volunteered to be on the committee to run it). Cycling proficiency no longer happened after youngest left school as no-one wanted to get involved. Very few school trips seem to happen now and high school is struggling to get people to help for prom night and end of year show (hence the call).
I've said I'm not available. I've done my time and moved on and feel no guilt about that, it's for current parents to step up to the mark. But is this the new norm now??? What's it like for those still with kids at various ages in school??

Talking about this today at sports day. Hot day we used to sell drinks, crisps during the event. Then a BBQ afterwards to make money. Today nothing. Said to DIL there's a lot of grandparents at the school gates nowadays so perhaps the PTA is dead and a new system needed such as a FTA (family teachers association)

I was dreading trying to park today but very few parents attended plenty of grandparents though

Lots of volunteering is done by older people who may still be anxious about covid, I for one wouldn'go near a school now.
I volunteered for 15 years in various ways when my DC were at school and I was working. It's hard, thankless work and not particularly rewarding.
School governors in particular are expected to take a lot of responsibility and really need professional expertise.
Volunteers often viewed with suspicion.

Having done over 25 years as a leader in girl guiding (most before I had my own child) there has been a massive decline of people willing to step up and help out in all walks of volunteering.

IME this is because of

1. both parents needs to work these days just to afford the basics in life
2. companies no longer actively support volunteering. When I first entered the work place in the late 90's we were encouraged to volunteer and were allowed a set number of days we could claim in order to do that. This hasn't been the case for at least the last 18 years
3. politics and cliques prevent most people joining in
4. the whole DBS process has become painfully slow and expensive. It needs to happen quicker. My latest one (for school) was completed in October 2021. I still haven't had it through.
5. people are just too busy

It is a sad state because without volunteers we will lose vital opportunities for our kids. But unfortunately it simply isn't always possible.

I volunteered for the PTA throughout both my DC’s time at primary and, in my experience, it wasn’t the SAHMs that stepped up! Most of those who volunteered worked full or part time - if you want something done ask a busy person!

I’m now a scout leader and it’s definitely getting harder - parents are so rude and kids’ behaviour gets worse every year: I’m not surprised people don’t want to put up with this bullshit for nothing 😢.

Most parents either will have a pre school child/baby or be working or have a health issue (which is why they aren’t working). Very few SAHP of only school aged children about.

@Dancingwithhyenas but it’s possible to work and volunteer. I’ve always done so. Most of our scout leaders are men who work full time. And my kids footie and rugby clubs are all staffed by volunteers who work f/t.

I volunteer with multiple organisations. Admittedly I'm currently a SAHM, but one of those roles long pre-dates that and I kept it up while working FT with young children. DH was often out of the country and there's no external family support. Actually my friends through that role are my best support network. One of the other roles is easily work compatible.

Two others I would have to stop although one is with school and they still haven't got things going again post-Covid. I did spend half the year assisting on a regular activity which has now concluded, but there's been no mention of the reading/ SEN support I used to do. The other is with DS' youth groups as they've had phases of being stuck for leaders. I try to keep it to the "hour a week", but it's often less bother to drop off and stay than to have to do two return journeys.

A lot of it is a values thing. As a teenager I saw the effort that teachers put into things like DoE and decided it was worth reinvesting back in. I did a lot of volunteering at school, in the library, KS3 languages while in 6th form, supporting events, backstage in shows. I see volunteering as a worthwhile use of my time and a way of making life better and have found ways to make it work around a demanding job and young children.

It's hard to take it seriously when you've been out the house for 10+ hours (will be 12 when you get home), have a 3 & 5 yo with you and a parent tells you straight faced that they couldn't possibly help for a one-off 90 minutes because they work/ have another child.

@BogRollBOGOF totally agree - most of my friends have time to volunteer but they can’t be arsed. Nothing I can do about it but I wish they wouldn’t pretend they were too busy when they clearly aren’t 🙄.

I have volunteered with Girl Guiding since I was 18, now in my 40's. I did it before I had children. I have done it whilst at uni, working full time, through mat leaves, and I am now 4 days in a busy job. Still manage to run a unit weekly.

We have closed numerous units in the past 2 years, leaders have moved, retired after multiple years service (40+), or health reasons and the reasons given for why people can't volunteer I find exasperating.

I live in an area with a lot of SAHM - or mums who work minimal hours, so many claim to not have time, don't want the commitment, others can do it, have a family, work too hard. I have to bite my tongue to not respond pointing out most of the leaders locally all have full time, busy jobs, families of all ages, etc!

However when I point out we have lost 3 out of 6 Guide units due to leaders stepping back and the fact daughter is unlikely to get a place I get lots of reasons why I should prioritise their daughter - but can't possibly help. Ask for help when one of the leaders can't make a meeting and very few offer.

The old adage of if you want something done ask a busy person is so true!

Exactly.
Same here.

It's hard to take it seriously when you've been out the house for 10+ hours (will be 12 when you get home), have a 3 & 5 yo with you and a parent tells you straight faced that they couldn't possibly help for a one-off 90 minutes because they work/ have another child.

Yes, this. People just expect other people to do it all as if they aren't also busy people. It's not about time. It's about attitude, and, as PP said, values.

I think it's a mixture of everything that has already been said on this thread.

The lockdowns made a lot of people evaluate their lives and made them appreciate a slower pace of life. They realised they don't have to run themselves ragged all the time so I imagine a lot of those who were juggling full time work, family, friends, exercise... have learnt to look after themselves a bit more and prioritised what's important to them. The first thing to be dropped would be the volunteering. I don't blame people who work full time for not volunteering. I volunteer and juggle everything but that's my choice.

Something I have pondered is how society will cope without as many volunteers. A lot of services for vulnerable people are delivered by volunteers: foodbanks, Samaritans, Mind - just off the top of my head. Most of them usually have some paid staff but they do rely on volunteers, some organisations rely on volunteers more than others. Society is changing now though, there are fewer people who can afford to be housewives or to retire early which means there are fewer people with free time available.

The volunteers at my organisations are mainly people who retired early so they're in good health and still very capable and energetic. State pension age is now rising and fewer people can afford to take early retirement. By the time my generation retires, we'll all be too knackered to be able to volunteer. If fewer people can afford to take early retirement, who will volunteer? What will happen to all those services that are so important for vulnerable people?

Some potential volunteers won't offer to work with children because they are worried about being accused of child abuse.

I've started volunteering recently. I was a bit oblivious and self-absorbed before, and hadn't really thought about volunteering - plus my kids weren't at school yet, so I didn't get asked.

Then loneliness, anxiety and mental health problems brought on by the pandemic - none of which I'd experienced before really - opened me up to realising how connected I am to other people.

Now I help with a local environmental group, help with the PTA, and help with a school streets road closure. Also, despite being an atheist, I've started going to church - which I love for many reasons - and have started doing little bits through them (secular, community event type stuff).

I'm actually grateful to my mental health problems making me a nicer person!

To add to the list of reasons why volunteering is less popular now, maybe a decline in religion is another factor? I'm told that the pandemic gutted out church attendance, and churches and other places of worship are a great network of 'do-gooders'. Brownies, Cubs etc. originated in church right?

Plus, I think the decline in homeownership is a factor. Why invest in a community if you've no guarantee you can stay there?

It’s interesting that there appeared to be lots of volunteers during covid and the recent Ukraine crisis, so folk still step up when the chips are really down but just so few in schools. Agree that the red tape and DBS doesn’t help. As an aside, my DBS and first aid certificates are out of date now but the school are still happy to contact me. I don’t think they realise 😮

These days both parents usually need to work just to provide a basic standard of living. Any leave needs to be saved for school holidays, kid's appointments and kid's sick days, there is no wiggle room for taking afternoons off to run a bake sale.

Also, I work in a school and have to deal with some atrocious behaviour from students and their parents. It's bad enough to deal with when I'm being paid for it, but I sure as hell wouldn't put myself through it for free!

Many families now rely on two incomes. That's why.

I was Group secretary for our local scout group for a couple of years as a couple of friends were on the committee.

I bowed out for a few reasons:

• the committee seemed to be made up of folks in their 70s who had been in the organisation for years and some parents in our 30s/40s. It was obvious that the older volunteers would need to bow out within the next few years and I didn't have the capacity or inclination to take on a bigger role.

• the committee seemed like a thinly veiled excuse to get you do to more.My view was that I was happy to send an agenda and take notes at a meeting because I didn't want to run a tombola stall - but it appears you were expected to do both

• it was a thankless task and I was not formally thanked when I left even though I managed to rope in a replacement

I think another issue is so many things need volunteers now that even if there are the same number of people, they're too thinly spread. So when I retire I'm aiming to get more involved with parkrun volunteering which has only crept up over the past few years , as it's something I personally get a lot from.

It is all very interesting - thanks to all who have shared their experiences.

Pre-covid, as well as my role in a museum, I also volunteered with a national reading charity in a school. I haven't gone back to that - partly because the pandemic took some of my emotional resilience I think, and I don't feel ready or able for that level of commitment - the children need me there every week, they talk to me about their lives, I've had safeguarding disclosures, and so on. Whereas for the museum, I turn up, do my shift happily, and leave. If family stuff or my paid work gets tough, or I need a break, I do fewer shifts. I wonder if that feeling of being a bit battered (as well as the wanting to rush around less), is affecting others, and their choices?

I can get that if both parents work then it’s difficult but when my kids were at primary school, hand on heart, half the volunteers were working either FT or PT. There now seems to be a real lack of community buy-in to make things tick over. It makes me sad. When I was at school back in the 70s, there were hardly any volunteers because they weren’t needed to the same degree. It was perfectly acceptable for a teacher to take an entire class of 35 out for a walk in nearby woods for a nature lesson, without any parental involvement. Now there is so much red tape and risk assessments before kids can even cross a road it just stops things happening and teachers are under so much stress they don’t have the headspace to do the fun stuff. Stuff that is equally as important as the academic stuff.
When my youngest left nursery the next generation of parents just didn’t seem to want to get involved or take responsibility. My friend, who still had a kid much younger than mine and she was one of the older parents when he started nursery said as much. They were all waiting for someone else to step forward. And many of them were SAHP. I’d say there was more an change in mindset that their is an expectation that the responsibility lies elsewhere but they are the first to moan if nothing happens for their child.

I wonder if it's all the social media and great tv streaming series that mean we don't have spare time. I certainly spend hours online/ watching stuff regularly (am retired) - I also volunteer but not a lot as I also childmind GDCs so cant omit to regular hours.9

I have done a lot of voluntary work, even when working. I retired early through ill health and after four years of treatment and them managing to stabilise my condition I volunteered a day a week. Then covid hit, the project folded. It reopened again this Spring but because of covid I have to be extremely careful because of my health issues. So as much as I want to volunteer and honestly I do get bored I can’t take risks.

I used to volunteer for a charity but found that volunteers were increasingly being dragged into management spats and treated badly by permanent staff. I gave up after I was shouted at for saying I couldn’t do a volunteer shift because I had to visit my father in hospital.

Agree with lots of what @BogRollBOGOF has written. There are lots of contributing factors as stated by pps (the cost of living/dual household income one is probably the biggest), but I think another significant one is that we’re increasingly atomised and insular, and plenty of people just can’t see any value in building a community beyond their own front door.

The pandemic has had a big impact on people’s mindset I think, causing many people to turn inwards and focus solely on their immediate nuclear family. Lots of people don’t see themselves as part of a wider social network any more, and don’t see the ‘bigger picture’ of what opportunities they/their children will ultimately lose if that network breaks down.

I was chatting to some friends with older kids yesterday (my own DD is just a preschooler) and they said that the pandemic school closures have profoundly changed the way they viewed the relationship between school and home. As they see it, school wasn’t there for them at that time, and they now feel much less of a sense of duty about propping it up as an institution. There’s also a lot more distance there now generally, with most things being done over Zoom/Parent Pay/email etc so ‘school’ as a place seems more remote and inaccessible. I think they’d be more inclined to step up and volunteer if things felt more open, welcoming and community oriented.

My own DD is about to start Reception, and many of my friends with younger kids who work full time are very open about choosing primary schools mainly for their convenience and wraparound childcare offer, viewing them solely as somewhere they can drop their kids off in the knowledge that they’re safe and occupied. Many didn’t even pay much attention to the standard of education or extra curriculars on offer, let alone have any engagement with school as a community that they might contribute to. Basically they see themselves as consumers of a service, rather than stakeholders in a wider interrelated network of schools, churches, charities etc.

For me, I got tired of putting time and effort in and being treated badly/not appreciated and/or dealing with people who are just useless. People here saying for example that scout/brownie leaders etc often are treated badly - I can completely see that. Our PTA is a case in point and I have now made a rule that I will not help out with any PTA events no matter how much they ask. It's strangely liberating.

DS sports group is looking for a new manager. My instinct is to step up - he gets such a lot out of the group and it's a wonderful organisation. But I see the ridiculous comments that parents make on the WhatsApp group and I just know I wouldn't be able to take it. I'd get angry or upset. Or both. Recently after teams were announced for two matches based on previously confirmed availability for the children, a whole bunch of parents came on saying that actually, their child COULD do a different day. And all I could think was, "do you honestly think the coaches should now take little Johnny off the team because YOUR darling is free?" The sense of entitlement is astonishing.

Having said all that, I feel weird doing nothing. A friend volunteers at a local national trust property. I think I might look into something like that - the kind of thing where you do a shift at a set time every week and then head home after.