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Original poster

Toddler addicted to screens - please help

101 replies

DianaRossshair · 05/06/2022 10:38

We are in a terrible rut with our 2yo and screens. I feel awful it's got to this and I really want to stop it before it causes harm. Basically he never used to watch screens at all and then a few things happened all at once - we moved home, I injured myself and was lying on the sofa for two weeks, then at the same time my husband got Covid (and was very unwell). All of this meant that to get by we relied on the iPad to keep DS occupied during times where I was unable to move round much and husband was ill. DS is at nursery part-time but the rest of the week I take care of him. We didn't have any wider family to support us so I'm afraid we resorted to screens when things got challenging.

Anyway it's happened now and we are both recovered. Now DS is sadly addicted to the iPad. I have tried taking it away but he gets sooooo upset it's crazy. I feel awful about it!

Has anyone got themselves in a rut with toddlers watching screens? My tactic is to try and take him out as much as humanly possible. However it's not always possible to go out and there are obviously times when we are at home and he is constantly crying for the iPad. He's not interested in his books or toys anymore which is so sad to see.

At the moment DS has a cold and is feeling rotten and teary so it's probably not a good time to go cold turkey. I'm going to wait until he's better and then stop the screens.

Does anyone have any good tactics for this? Please help! I feel so bad I've let my son down but hoping we can turn it around.

OP posts:
piratehugs · 05/06/2022 10:49

Following with interest. We have not got out of the screen addiction that started in the first lockdown. DP is a couch potato and actively encourages DS to be the same. I hate it and feel so guilty. I'm fighting a losing battle - every time I turn my back for a second, the bloody screens are on again.

BiggerBoat1 · 05/06/2022 10:50

Take the screen away.

Deal with the tantrums.

Provide other activities.

BattenburgDonkey · 05/06/2022 10:52

Set up activities rather than relying on toys, baking and crafts that you’re doing with him, and ultimately just deal with the tantrums.

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Hugasauras · 05/06/2022 10:52

You just have to persevere. He can't tantrum for 24 hours solid. Take it away and don't give it back. It will be a shit day but it won't last. You say you don't like seeing him upset, but surely a short period of that is preferable to seeing him not doing any toddler-appropriate activities?

DuneFan · 05/06/2022 10:53

We have this problem too. Cold turkey for a week or so is the only thing I've found to work- then we gradually slide back into bad habits! It's been on and off for us from from start of lockdown when he was 18 months.

When going cold turkey I try to model good behaviour myself so phone away, tv off, etc. It's hard, I understand why he gets upset!

Dominuse · 05/06/2022 10:53

Take it away for good. Don’t give in.

GetThatHelmetOn · 05/06/2022 10:56

Do not give up to tantrums, that goes for screens and everything in life.
He will cry, stomp, make a big fuss as addicts do, but if you and his dad persevere you can even get him to use it within a schedule.

Youaremysunshine14 · 05/06/2022 10:56

Take away the iPad and hide it so he doesn't know where it is. Let him tantrum himself out. Provide fun activities and toys to distract him once he's calmed down. Stick to your guns.

Palebluelily · 05/06/2022 10:56

Screens are not good for toddlers' development. Just take the screen away.

www.unicef.org/parenting/child-development/babies-screen-time

ReadtheReviews · 05/06/2022 10:58

The problem comes when the options are child either plays on ipad or has to entertain self. In that scenario, child is going to go crazy for screens. if the option is no ipad and other entertainment happening then the tantrum won't last. Also when adults are on their phones a lot it makes screens much more desirable and the norm. Have to really force self to break the habit, live in the moment, get down on the floor or outside and really play and engage with them.

skyeisthelimit · 05/06/2022 10:59

You need to take it away completely until he is old enough to deal with restricted time on it.

He is too young to understand at the moment if you just let him have half an hour a day or something, so it will need to be cold turkey.

So just put it where he can't see it, when he asks for it, tell him you can't find it, and then give him something else to do.

You are doing the right thing. You just need to make sure that you aren't on your phone all the time too.

I remember going to an event and DD was slightly too young to have a phone at age 9. All the others, aged 10-13 were sat there glued to their phones and DD was bored and then upset as nobody would talk to her. It was such a sad sight to see. It took one of the parents to notice it, and take the phones off their kids, for all the kids to get up and start interacting and having fun together.

Serriedranks · 05/06/2022 10:59

I would let him watch you wrap it up in a box and "post it" in the dustbin saying
"It's broken", "what a shame"!

(Obviously get it out later when he's in bed. Don't forget! Grin)

Keep strong op. Ignore his upset reaction for the greater good!

RoseMartha · 05/06/2022 11:01

Just don't give it to him.
Put somewhere he cant see it.
If you have a tv let him watch that for a little while each day.
Encourage him to play with his toys.
Encourage make believe eg build a den in the lounge.
If you have a garden get him out there playing.
Go on play dates.
Go to toddler groups to meet mums if you have days off in the week.

Do activities at home with him.
Take him out.
Read books to him.

SheWoreYellow · 05/06/2022 11:02

We had ‘iPad time’ for 30-45 mins while I was cooking tv. You could try just that.

But you need to take it away (for the majority of the day) and weather the tantrum.

If the toddler wanted your wine or coffee would you just let them? Or to eat sweets all day?

ThatsMyFace · 05/06/2022 11:08

Active diversion is key. Screens don't require any active input from the child, so you're going to have to replace the entertainment - and in time they'll remember how to make their own fun/ explore things to see what else they can do etc. Taking the screen away and saying "go and play" won't make sense to a child who has lost the ability to play. As pp say, start with things like baking, messy play, junk modelling, and then move onto some really interactive toys - things that have screws, magnet tiles, if you're wealthy then get one of those pikler triangle things so he can climb/make dens etc.... you'll have to play alongside him initially to show him the things he can do, but then gradually you'll be able to step back. Avoid toys that aren't actually engaging, like toys where you just press a button and it makes a noise. Toys with multiple options for use will be the most exciting to explore.

He's only 2 :) all is not lost! You can absolutely turn it around, and it's not too late :)

Etinoxaurus · 05/06/2022 11:09

Anticipate a crap day and tell him it’s broken.
“oh no, it’s completely broken. Good job we’ve got an exciting day today visiting granny/ feeding the ducks/ going to soft play.”
💐 @DianaRossshair mine were toddlers pre screens, pre cbeebies even and I was very aware how I was supported in parenting by that fact. Watch the wiggles dvd for the hundredth time or potter with mama wasn’t as hard a choice as infinite children’s entertainment vs watching mama bake.

tiredanddangerous · 05/06/2022 11:11

Are you serious? He's 2!! Stash the iPad away and tell him it's broken.

KindergartenKop · 05/06/2022 11:12

Tell him it's broken and hide it and never use it again! Maybe get him a jazzy new toy from.the charity shop because he's obviously sad it's broken. Be prepared for tantrums but don't give in.

Twizbe · 05/06/2022 11:13

I don't go in for all this 'screen time is the devil' stuff so I might have a different view.

TV and CBeebies etc are great tools for when you just have to get through the day. In lockdown with a 3 and 1 year old we had CBeebies on most of the day.

First, go out every morning.

In the afternoon if he's tired and no napping watching a film together can be a nice quiet time activity.

Look at things like CBeebies and programmes like the Toddler Club that you can interact together on.

Finally, don't beat yourself up. Screens are fine.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 05/06/2022 11:19

Screens are really addictive - I can 100% see why he's upset not be able to be allowed his iPad.

Taking the iPad away is fine, but what are you offering to him as an alternative?

Sceptre86 · 05/06/2022 11:21

Go cold turkey, be prepared for tantrums. Keep your days busy. It will get easier. Eventually you can reintroduce it but when you are both together. You can use it as a learning tool or to watch a programme so actively participate rather than using it as a distraction tool.

I found during the first lockdown my kids became addicted too as dh was wfh whilst I was at work and they were on the ipad or watching YouTube for most of the day. When I was off I banned the ipad completely and kept them busy with colouring, activity books, some phonics and number work, baking,water play, kids yoga, games in the garden. There was tears initially but I persevered and didn't give in. I started setting out stuff they could so when I was at work and dh spoke to his employer about having to take care of two kids whilst trying to wfh. They agreed more flexibility which helped enormously.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 05/06/2022 11:22

BiggerBoat1 · 05/06/2022 10:50

Take the screen away.

Deal with the tantrums.

Provide other activities.

This is the only thing you can do.

mypinkslippers · 05/06/2022 11:41

Just remove it. You will face tantrums etc. but they will not last forever. You just have to ride that out. I've done this with mine. I tell her this is happening, and she can cry about it but it will still happen. Honestly it won't last. Just remove it because you need to, then reintroduce it once they are no longer dependent on it. Keep explaining the reason and the purpose etc. and stick to it.

Don't feel bad. Feel bad if you let your child sit on a screen excessively.

LorW · 05/06/2022 11:41

Go cold turkey, ignore all tantrums and don’t give in, he will sharp forget about it and entertain himself 😁

FrancescaContini · 05/06/2022 11:42

Throw away the iPad for ever. Put toddler in pushchair. Go outside for as long as possible, every day.