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Original poster

Toddler addicted to screens - please help

101 replies

DianaRossshair · 05/06/2022 10:38

We are in a terrible rut with our 2yo and screens. I feel awful it's got to this and I really want to stop it before it causes harm. Basically he never used to watch screens at all and then a few things happened all at once - we moved home, I injured myself and was lying on the sofa for two weeks, then at the same time my husband got Covid (and was very unwell). All of this meant that to get by we relied on the iPad to keep DS occupied during times where I was unable to move round much and husband was ill. DS is at nursery part-time but the rest of the week I take care of him. We didn't have any wider family to support us so I'm afraid we resorted to screens when things got challenging.

Anyway it's happened now and we are both recovered. Now DS is sadly addicted to the iPad. I have tried taking it away but he gets sooooo upset it's crazy. I feel awful about it!

Has anyone got themselves in a rut with toddlers watching screens? My tactic is to try and take him out as much as humanly possible. However it's not always possible to go out and there are obviously times when we are at home and he is constantly crying for the iPad. He's not interested in his books or toys anymore which is so sad to see.

At the moment DS has a cold and is feeling rotten and teary so it's probably not a good time to go cold turkey. I'm going to wait until he's better and then stop the screens.

Does anyone have any good tactics for this? Please help! I feel so bad I've let my son down but hoping we can turn it around.

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/06/2022 11:43

BiggerBoat1 · 05/06/2022 10:50

Take the screen away.

Deal with the tantrums.

Provide other activities.

This. Just take it away. It served its purpose while you were ill, now put it away. Tell him it's broken. So what if he cries, it's not the end of the world,it's not like he's crying because he's ill.

Bibbetybobbity · 05/06/2022 11:46

100% cold turkey, it’ll only make things worse to try and wean him off it gradually. He can’t possibly regulate his usage at that age, so like a PP said, it’s served it’s purpose and now needs to go entirely.

Dalekjastninerels · 05/06/2022 11:48

Cold turkey; he is only little and ready yet.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families
MarshaBradyo · 05/06/2022 11:48

Cold turkey and distraction, new habits will take over

Dalekjastninerels · 05/06/2022 11:49

Not ready yet !

PizzaPatel · 05/06/2022 11:53

weve been through phases where our son is really into screens but it never lasted. Always did require active intervention on our part though.

we didn’t go cold turkey but here’s what we did.

  • impose rules around screen time (eg screens in the morning set us up for a whingy day so never any screens before the late afternoon)
  • when he got older (3) we let him use the iPad on a timer and he had to be ok with turning it off when the timer went. However we discovered that the iPad was way more addictive than tv and had a worse impact on his behaviour so now we have absolutely no iPad ever.
  • we still use the timer for tv so it goes off when the timer goes off.
  • DS is great at playing alone now but we can’t expect him to just find his own entertainment so we get him started on something then often we’re able to retreat.
  • we found what he was into (building) got lots second hand from Facebook. He can now aged 3-4 play for hours with that.
he still says every morning “can I watch tv” but now I can just say “we don’t watch tv in the daytime” and he doesn’t tantrum.
Mariposista · 05/06/2022 11:56

Cold turkey. Preferably get rid of the horrid thing unless you need it for work. Take him out to the park, play with him, sticker books, WHATEVER. Ignore the screams. Just no screens, they are vile.

Pickabearanybear · 05/06/2022 11:58

This reply has been withdrawn

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dontyoubother · 05/06/2022 11:58

As others have said I'd go cold turkey. Remove it, deal with tantrums for a couple of days. Worth it in the long run. We did the same recently with DD2's dummy- softly softly approach not working so just took them, she cried on and off for 2 days then was fine.

ElenaSt · 05/06/2022 12:02

Is this for real? So what if he creates? You take it away and it's gone. Ignore the outbursts and offer healthier alternatives and if he creates and plays up he gets nothing.

You are the boss. Repeat - you are the boss.

ElenaSt · 05/06/2022 12:05

When I was growing up in the 60s 70s there was a familiar saying used by adults- 'tough titty'.

It seems nowadays that parents want to be their child's friend rather than be in charge.

Your child does not get to dictate to you.

MiniDinosaur · 05/06/2022 12:05

I worked in a nursery and it was obvious which 2 and 3 year olds were allowed regular access to a phone or ipadat home. They had little interest in toys and cried for their ipad. One child wouldn’t eat unless they were watching a screen. Very sad and the result of bad parenting. You need to be the adult here and deal with the tantrums.

ProseccoStorm · 05/06/2022 12:06

We had this after lockdown.

Cold turkey. The whinging lasted a few days and now they never even ask for it

You're the adult here, take control

BertieBotts · 05/06/2022 12:06

Let him have it while he's feeling ill, then use him feeling better as a reason to ditch it. I would arrange some other activities for a couple of days and be prepared to deal with the whining. Good luck!

CorpseReviver · 05/06/2022 12:07

He's a toddler. Put it more than four feet above the floor.

ImFree2doasiwant · 05/06/2022 12:08

Take it away. Set up activities to do with him (with him, not on his own). Make play scenes, do crafting, baking, go out, make a treasure hunt. Read.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/06/2022 12:10

ElenaSt · 05/06/2022 12:05

When I was growing up in the 60s 70s there was a familiar saying used by adults- 'tough titty'.

It seems nowadays that parents want to be their child's friend rather than be in charge.

Your child does not get to dictate to you.

I remember that 🤣

Whining didn't get you anywhere back then!

waterrat · 05/06/2022 12:12

I say this with sympathy but it is you the parent who is addicted! (Speaking as someone who has totally done thr same at periods so no judgement)

You are addicted to the break you get. You are addicted to the quiet and peace

Just as with adult phone addiction children have to know there is no option of screen they have to be bored!

2 is sooo young. He will recover quickly.

Brace yourself say its broken and deal with a difficult few days. Let him have cbeebies or whatever at the end if the day. Get out sand water...buy new toys if you can afford it

Unfortunately you will have to push through the tantrums until he has forgotten the screen but it will happen

BlossomRussosHatCollection · 05/06/2022 12:16

You just have to persevere through the tantrum, don't you? Screens are a godsend when you need them, but you need to establish boundaries. We put a timer on ours, and the kids know they have it till the timer goes off - then it goes away. They get it once a day and no more. There were tears and tantrums involved in establishing these rules, but having stuck to our guns, it's now quite easy - they yell out when the timer goes off and (usually!) put it away.

Hoowhoowho · 05/06/2022 12:28

Don’t worry about it. Screens are just not that interesting when your parent isn’t getting involved in a drama about them. This is about your guilt, your image of yourself as a parent, your fear of judgement.

your toddler is involved in an activity he enjoys and like anyone who has experienced limits is doing it to excess. It’s amazing parents don’t make such a fuss about their child who is outside too much (indeed they push then outside so they can count ‘hours’ for their own image) or their child who reads too much (reading to
excess caused me many of the issues that are often attributed to screen use)

Change your image of screens which are infact used for a variety of activities (preschool learning programmes, games, documentaries, drawing….) and engage in your child’s interests and learning. If you have an interesting life with outings and toys and activities and friends, he won’t watch ‘screens’ all the time. He may watch them more than you would like but consider whether your desire for him to watch less is about him or you before you limit or ban.

Screens are part of modern life, it is much easier to teach the skills to manage them to little children than to teenagers.

Kinsters · 05/06/2022 12:28

I agree with others that you have to go cold turkey (once he's better). What I do with DD is if she plays up at turning off the iPad then it gets put away and so she's learnt that if it's time to turn it off then that's it. I let her have it if any of us are sick/tired or if I need to do something eg make dinner and she's not able to entertain herself.

Does he watch those videos of toys? I have previously bought DD toys that she's seen being played with on the iPad and they're her favourites (some little Peppa pig figurines which she plays imaginative games with and a plastic cake that she decorates over and over).

PeekAtYou · 05/06/2022 12:32

If he knows where the iPad is kept, hide it somewhere else and pretend it's lost. Then you're going to have to distract like crazy. It will take a few days but he can recover

Wor · 05/06/2022 14:01

We had this. Tried ‘screen time’ and time limits but this did not work, he was obsessed. Eventually I took the ipad and tv youtube away and told him they were finished. He cried about this for much of 3 days and then a wonderful era of imaginative play opened up 😃

SeaToSki · 05/06/2022 14:05

Run the battery out completely and dont recharge it. Then tell him its broken and show him it wont turn on. Sympathise with some dramatic oh no its broken (hand to forehead) and move on to something else. Rinse and repeat. It will probably take a couple of days and then he will stop stropping

Sqeebling · 05/06/2022 14:06

Cold Turkey but you will have to keep him entertained by playing with him a lot till he learns to play on his own and use his imagination

Go to the park a lot