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Original poster

I was the recipient of unwanted advice from a random man today.

529 replies

Pollydonia · 22/05/2022 20:32

..and actually remembered to say " thanks Random Man !" He just looked confused but another woman near by burst out laughing.
It was in the gym, I was doing my own thing , he tried to tell me to do it " his" way .
Seriously though, I'm 49 so I'm less likely to be intimidated by shit like this. I've also emailed the gym as a heads up .

OP posts:
KarenLovesRosario · 23/05/2022 04:40

Fuck random man.

RustyShackleford3 · 23/05/2022 04:59

Good for you!

I've started doing this as well, thanks to that thread. ☺️

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 23/05/2022 05:06

I wish I'd done this myself - just been to the hardware shop to try to get some absorption granules because there is a leak in my son's room and the carpet is wet - came away with rage and inwardly kicking myself because Random Man inserted himself in the convo I was having with 2 of the store staff, and suggested I should "get the leak fixed" - I did roll my eyes and say "well OBVIOUSLY the leak needs to be fixed, duh" but it wasn't quite as snappy as "than you Random Man for your unneeded input" (Maybe my tone indicated that sentiment though, cos he did wander off after that...) Grin

FlorenceOrTheMachine · 23/05/2022 05:07

Singingtherapy · 22/05/2022 23:28

Massive overreaction. It's ok that you found it annoying but do you really not have the capacity to pause, acknowledge that he didn't mean any offence and move on? I also don't get how misandry is ok. If he'd had brown skin would you have said 'thanks random Indian'?

That's quite funny. The OP's mild sarcasm and following of the gym's own policy is "overreaction", but accusing the OP of "misandry" and racism for doing so isn't?
What should she have said, I wonder? "Thank you random individual of unspecified sex and colour"? He was a man was he not?

KarenLovesRosario · 23/05/2022 05:19

Singingtherapy · 22/05/2022 23:28

Massive overreaction. It's ok that you found it annoying but do you really not have the capacity to pause, acknowledge that he didn't mean any offence and move on? I also don't get how misandry is ok. If he'd had brown skin would you have said 'thanks random Indian'?

Misandry ??
Wow, is that because OP didn't flutter her eyelids and curtsey ?
We are not here to constantly flatter your ego, although I can see how history has made you believe this.

SmugOldBag · 23/05/2022 05:25

I had a 'random man' advise me that I had failed abysmally in socialising my puppy because she ran away from him when he stomped up to her, boomed in her face and tried to ruffle her head. He advised me she would be a nightmare as an adult and I needed to 'sort it out asap'
He said he would be on the beach at least twice a week to monitor my progress.
I told him not to bother as she was perfectly socialised, it was just him she hated

DomusAurea · 23/05/2022 05:32

Johnnysgirl · 22/05/2022 22:47

It can't be policy to prohibit people speaking to each other Confused
You may be interpreting the word "approach" slightly differently to how it was intended.

Hi Random Man - nice to see you here too.

Moonface123 · 23/05/2022 05:44

Only on MN would you find women applauding another woman for stupidity like this.
Really makes you proud doesnt it ?

DomusAurea · 23/05/2022 05:58

Moonface123 · 23/05/2022 05:44

Only on MN would you find women applauding another woman for stupidity like this.
Really makes you proud doesnt it ?

Other websites are available to you too I guess.

daisydaisy11 · 23/05/2022 05:58

m.youtube.com/watch?v=AX4sf1JVY24

This is brilliant.

mintybobs · 23/05/2022 06:06

RamsayEaster · 22/05/2022 23:28

Poor guy maybe only wanted to give you some advice and was maybe generally being nice 😞

Oh rubbish. You dont give random people gym advice when you know NOTHING about their capability or potential medical issues- thats just flat out dangerous.

Also- why wasnt he giving any MEN his supposed valuable advice eh? think about that for a minute.........

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 23/05/2022 06:15

TheLadyofShalott1 · 23/05/2022 04:17

I agree that your answer to him OP was great, but I also agree with @Haveipeedontheircornflakes

I have no idea what you expect the gym to do about it? Do you think they should put notices up around the gym and male changing rooms saying - "no mansplaining allowed - at the threat of death, or doing1000 press-ups at the end of the session or banishment from the club?

Show quote history

Gyms will ban members for harassing other members. It's not that difficult to understand.

KatherineJaneway · 23/05/2022 06:16

I can't believe the amount of people trying to explain away and apologise for this man. These type of men are very annoying! I had one in my gym but thank goodness I've not seen him in a few years now. You'd be working out, minding your own business and he'd interrupt with unsolicited advice on using a machine or whatever it was you were doing. I was never rude to his face but I wish I had been more assertive now.

Pegasushaswings · 23/05/2022 06:32

This always make me laugh

I was the recipient of unwanted advice from a random man today.
sammylady37 · 23/05/2022 06:34

in my younger and less assertive days I was put off attending my gym by one such random man. Not anymore though, the last one to try impart his wisdom got a death stare followed by an eye roll.

Veol · 23/05/2022 06:37

There are random people all over the place who like to offer slightly irritating advice(particularly when you have a baby). Emailing to complain about them is even more random though, and potentially more harmful.

BlackSwan · 23/05/2022 06:38

It's so condescending of posters to claim the OP was overreacting by emailing the gym! Surely she is the best judge random man's actions & she has the perfect right to enjoy the gym in peace.

mintybobs · 23/05/2022 06:40

Veol · 23/05/2022 06:37

There are random people all over the place who like to offer slightly irritating advice(particularly when you have a baby). Emailing to complain about them is even more random though, and potentially more harmful.

Completely disagree. Gyms arent the same as supermarkets. We all need food, we dont all need to go to the gym. I know many women who wont go to gyms because they perceive them to be full of aggressive, testosterone fuelled muscleheads (which some of them are) and I have personally seen women in gyms be intimidated away from the weights rack due to the behaviour of these guys.

If a gym wants to encourage customers and be a successful business then they absolutely need a policy which allows women and in fact, everyone, to feel safe and that they can work out in peace. Its sheer good business sense.

gamerchick · 23/05/2022 06:42

FabulouslyFab · 22/05/2022 23:22

Why on Earth are people making excuses for him??!

Conditioning. Bizarre isn't it?

I love how women get in their late 40s though, slide into menopause sees men without that hazy filter that makes us want to reproduce. I've got no bones in standing up to men now where as short as 10 years ago I would smile and thank them for unwanted advice.

GreyCarpet · 23/05/2022 06:49

Loving that so many people (random men?) are so quick to accuse women standing up for themselves as 'misandry' that they have missed the OP saying that the gym have asked people to email them if they experience this exact behaviour.

DorchaAndLouis · 23/05/2022 06:52

If I'd heard you say "Thanks Random man" I wouldn't have a clue what you meant and would think you a bit odd.
No wonder he looked confused, not everyone reads all of mumsnet to get the "in jokes".
Perhaps saying something like, "I know what I'm doing and don't need your advice" would have been a better way of getting your point across.

Roselilly36 · 23/05/2022 06:58

Life must be difficult for those that are so easily offended. If OP thinks she handled the situation well, why would you bother to email the gym, hardly threatening behaviour was it. If people have left the gym because someone spoke to them, more fool them. I wouldn’t give him another thought. You always find people like this, that love to impart their wisdom, just ignore it and get on with your day. You don’t seriously think the gym will bother to look at the cctv or ban him as a member do you.

sleepygal · 23/05/2022 07:03

why doesn't anyone believe the OP when she says she received unwanted attention from someone she didn't know? Next there'll be a pile on blaming the OP for working out in an unmanned gym, allowing herself to be around random men, being 49, being a woman !!!

Hallyup89 · 23/05/2022 07:03

So a man came to give you some advice and you emailed the gym because the scary man dare to speak to you and get in your "personal space"? Would you have done the same if a friendly woman was the one offering a better way to do things? What a plonker.

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 23/05/2022 07:04

Well done. I wish I'd had your presence of mind on a recent flight. I was near completing a pretty difficult sudoku after half an hour or so, when a random male finger hove into view and attempted to start putting in the final few figures ( wrongly, as it happens). I snatched my ipad away and stabbed in the correct figures crossly. 😡

The bloke next to me was "bored" and apparently I was supposed to entertain him.