I was the recipient of unwanted advice from a random man today.

[Pollydonia]

..and actually remembered to say " thanks Random Man !" He just looked confused but another woman near by burst out laughing.
It was in the gym, I was doing my own thing , he tried to tell me to do it " his" way .
Seriously though, I'm 49 so I'm less likely to be intimidated by shit like this. I've also emailed the gym as a heads up .

A woman objecting to being oppressed is not showing misandry.

There seem to be a lot of posters throwing "misandry" around as an accusation on my right now.

For women to have a fair slice of the pie, men have got to have less. Decent men recognise this. It isn't misandry to want me to have only half of what is available in society (space, money, attention) despite some men behaving like big babies when asked to curb themselves a bit.

Staggered at the number of apologists for Random Man mansplaining!!

Jeez. No wonder so many of them continue to get away with it.

Well done @Pollydonia - absolutely sound comeback - if he tries it again, you could go with additional "Thank you SO MUCH for your completely unnecessary and unwanted intervention - it's AMAZING how you managed to know all about my needs and capacity just by watching me from the other side of the gym! Now perhaps let me get on with my work out MY way?"
But only if you can be bothered. I think what you said the first time was fine.

Interestingly, over the course of my many decades on this earth, I have never been sexually harassed and intimidated by a woman. And I've been around a crap ton of lesbians. The reason for these policies in a gym, and for generally having an issue with Random Man is this:

Random Man: Something random
Woman: Appeases
Random Man: Ooooooo she likes me, I shall press my advantage

Random Man: Something random
Woman: Ignores
Random Man: Fucking rude bitch what's your problem?

Random Man: Something random
Woman: Fuck off
Random Man: Cunt

Random Man: Something random
Woman: Fuck off
Random Man: I was only trying to be helpful, I'm a <drumroll> Nice Guy. You misandrist women, you hate Nice Guys, you like cunts. Maybe I'll be a cunt, do you like that? Fucking feminazis.

Random Man: Something random
Woman: Smiles and chats
Random Man: She likes me I'd better touch her
Woman: Please don't
Random Man: Fucking cock tease

There is no response which a nasty man won't find a way to exploit. And the actual nice guys (not Nice Guys) don't do any of this. I met DH as a random man in a bar. But he didn't tell me what to do, didn't try anything until it was REALLY obvious we liked each other, didn't do any of the above. I don't hate men but my experience of Random Man isn't good. And if there weren't quite so many of them, wouldn't that be better for the ACTUAL nice men we'd ACTUALLY like to talk to.

I bet Random Man is still confused and shaking his head 😆

Why are you defending this arsehole? He absolutely did not just speak to the op.

You go up to total strangers and give them advice they didn't fucking ask for, regarding their body and fitness that you know nothing about?

Another woman wouldn't have done this 🤷🏼‍♀️

I remind myself of this often so if (when) the time comes I shall be prepared with my response!

Another brilliant post MrsTP.

What an excellent policy! Aimed at making women feel safe and valued when the gym is unstaffed. That's great to hear.

He approached me, got in my personal space, leaned on the back of the equipment I was using ( leg press) and told me what weight to use when he had no idea of any physical problems I may have.

Whaaaa? He can just fuck off and then fuck off some more.

Although I can usually leg press about twice what most Random Men can.

But they can all fuck off, telling you how much weight you should use. It's an entirely personal thing.

Have you ever met men? Never been to a gym?

It's ok that you found it annoying but do you really not have the capacity to pause, acknowledge that he didn't mean any offence and move on?

Someone else who has never been to a gym.

Glad you think it's ok to find something 'annoying' though. Thanks for that.

I think it’s highly unlikely that a woman would have done what this man did. But the great thing about the gym’s policy is that everyone can email them about any unwanted approaches and the gym then checks to see if it’s a pattern. So a one off is no problem but someone who, routinely deliberately or otherwise, makes other users uncomfortable can be spoken to and then banned if it continues. It’s a great way to handle women being subject to unwanted attention - which has been a big problem in lots of gyms.

Where I live, if he’d gone up to another man and tried this crap he would have gotten much more than a sarcastic thank you!

LOL, you can usually tell when someone’s ‘foreign’ the minute they open their mouth and start talking.

It's always the leg press! I had that all the time until I quit the gym. Hate it and I never say anything.

Man hate…? What?

Are you saying all men behave like this - go up and women and butt in where they’re not welcome to tell them what to do?

I don’t know any men in real life who do this.

The OP - and many of us - have a problem with fuckwit men. Not men.

So as YOU think all men behave like fuckwits, you’re the man-hater. Not us.

Hands up anyone here minimising this who also goes to a gym! Anyone?

Well done OP this is totally unacceptable gym behaviour that absolutely needs to be reported to the gym.

I agree that your answer to him OP was great, but I also agree with @Haveipeedontheircornflakes

I have no idea what you expect the gym to do about it? Do you think they should put notices up around the gym and male changing rooms saying - "no mansplaining allowed - at the threat of death, or doing1000 press-ups at the end of the session or banishment from the club?

This one? www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/4308248-The-random-comment-men

Sorry OP, I had missed your later mention that the gym asking to be emailed about any approaches like that. Have a glass of 🍷or a pint of 🍺 from me, as an apology - sorry but I can't afford to offer spirits!

Well done @Pollydonia

one reason I was worried about starting to do weights on my own at the gym was because I’m a magnet for unsolicited advice from random men. I told my PT about this, and he told me to tell random men to fuck off 🤣