What improved your quality of life, so much, you wish you did it sooner?

[piddocktrumperiness]

For me it's a few things:
-Learning what past trauma is and how it plays out in relationships
-Learn to say no to things and people and not feel bad about it
-Realising no one really notices or cares what I do or look like; felt liberated to not always wear lots of makeup, dress in a new outfit or have my roots done, or eat out alone, or do anything alone.
-Not watching much current tv and picking up a book instead
-Listening to James O' Brien on LBC ( I know he's not everyone's cup of tea- but I learned alot)
-Waking up v early to have some me time. This was hard as I was a night owl for many years.
-Declutter and only buy when I need something. To be honest this started as I had to downsize to an empty flat after my divorce and am on not much money but it has helped with not worrying about possessions and all the cleaning involved.
-Divorce my ex husband- biggest impact haha

What improved yours?

Retirement, anti depressants and James O'Brien

Having a baby. Best decision in the world. Wish I had found my partner earlier and he was Into having babies. But alas he isnt so if I started earlier I may still have managed more I intend to convince him into

i gave up drinking. i have always worked full time so only had weekends. i never did anything at weekend as i felt sluggish.
gave up. i now have energy to do fun stuff. and have fulfilling weekends.
i wish i had done it when the kids were young. it makes me feel guilty. but that glass or 3 of wine went they went to bed wasnt a gift after all.
i am clear headed, and much happier.

Getting very expensive crowns after years of dodgy teeth
Getting an ASD diagnosis for my eldest child
Antidepressants
A good coffee machine
Buying a bigger house with a utility room and space for the teens to hang out and watch tv or play PlayStation
Finally owning a car with Bluetooth so I can play my own music instead of listening to crap radio stations
Having a cat and a dog
WFH

There’s a social pressure to drink alcohol in the UK. I don’t drink alcohol - never have, as I’ve tried it and don’t enjoy the taste, so I don’t see the point. However when I used to go out with friends and work colleagues some of them would try to make me feel as though there was something really wrong with me for not drinking and some would not want to stop trying to get me to drink: “go on, just have one”. Why?! And multiple people have done this throughout my life. I’ve always been strong enough to not care what people think regarding this but I can see how lots of young people would start drinking due to peer pressure.

However, despite not drinking, I feel disappointed that I don’t have all the energy etc that people above have been mentioning - I dread to think how I’d feel if I did drink!

My things are getting braces as an adult and meditation.

Love everyone's answers, so many interesting ones! Great post :)

Waking up earlier than needed.
Drinking a glass of water first thing.
Working one day a week at home. (Although work want this to change soon :( )
Stretching for 20mins first thing in the morning.
Reading more - reading self help books.
Listening to 'The law of attraction changed my life'
Joining the gym.

Retiring early & just working occasionally. Realized I was just working for fripperies & house cluttering excess.
Decluttering. Still a way to go though.
Becoming more slatternly. So what if things aren't Hinched & bleached. Not going to be Quentin Crisp but as long as things are basically clean & tidy = more time to please myself.

Left my ex, moved home and just let myself be me. I am far happier and more relaxed. I still get anxious sometimes about other people's opinions of me (working on that!!), but I have some very good friends who keep me right

Giving up booze
Weighted blanket
Mixcloud app (for endless mixes of music available - bringing back memories!)
Wearing the clothes I want and like, not caring what others think - nor saving "for best"
Coffee bean machine
bone conducting headphones

Recently:
Going to full-time (no longer feel guilty about work levels and am doing a lot less work evenings/weekends than when i was part-time)
Getting a cleaner
Food bag/meal delivery once a week (we have significantly increased variety and as someone who wasn't a confident cook I find the recipes really easy to follow)

Would love someone to pull all these comments into some AI test analysis as feel the word cloud would be fascinating! Even better as a survey with some demographics on age...

@Saurus72

Thank you, they are expensive but I have tried a couple of others with no benefit so would be worth it if they worked.

Weight lifting. Sea swimming and polyamorous/non monogamous relationships.

Educating myself to fully understand my white privilige as it has made me a better wife, mother and a stronger advocate for my black sons. It has deepened my relationship to my dh beyond measure. Without it I think we would have ended up going our separate ways and my children would have been raised very differently. I dread to think of the impact that would have had on their self identity and outlook.

Dropping friends and family without guilt for failing to back my children and husband or any other black people unconditionally. Without exception, regardless of consequences. The peace it has brought my family has been life changing.

Not to compromise on my integrity, ever, regardless of the consequences.

Stopped neglecting my physical health and taking better care of my self. For me.

K E T O

after long covid, brain fog - loads of utter shit being honest. I can’t recommend it more.

After years of angst and then realising that there's bugger-all I can do about most things so - To not worry about Yesterday (its gone) and not to worry about Tomorrow (it hasn't happened). Live for the Day.

Having the same weekday meals 5 days a week. Gravy dinner Mon, pasta Tues etc. Freed up so much headspace and they're still tasty.

Replacing a bad front crown put on by a terrible dentist. I didn't know any better. I now smile easily, happily and without feeling self-concious.

Setting a low-ish limit on my credit card (1k) and NEVER letting the bank raise it.

That people are all very, very different.

Accepting I have to Deal with the Now. I’ve spent years trying to set things up to be future proof, and the the future I was expecting just exploded. So now I’m just trying to get things to work , for ME, now. I’ll take care of the future later.

turning my mattress

getting rid of things I don’t need (see first point!)

Getting dogs. More stress for me, sure, but improved my DDs behaviour no end.

The realisation that I am on the autistic spectrum. I no longer have to do things I don’t want to do in order to mask. All my life I felt inadequate because I hated socialising, wasn’t confident, and all the subtle ways this impacted on my life because I didn’t realise there was a reason for it. I suffered anxiety and depression for many years and now I know it’s a genetically disposed thing I just take tablets and don’t feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me. It has been liberating.

Can I ask what bone conducting headphones are?

i love reading all these though am grateful I don’t live next door to the pp who takes their Bluetooth speaker into the garden on sunny days. Our NDN did this and we endured it for years until we were finally driven to speak to him and he was fine: had no idea that it was so loud. I’m still triggered by even reading such stuff though!

So that’s been life changing: speaking to our NDN about his music in the garden

@Abracadabra12345 bine conducting headphones like the aftershocks, sit outside the ear on the jawbone. The sound is conducted via the bone to the inner ear. This way you don’t get the blocked ear feeling, prevents infections and you can still hear the outside world - so ideal for walkers and joggers. They are Bluetooth and use the same button commands other Bluetooth earbuds etc do.

Divorcing my ExH. Marrying my true love and maintaining our separate homes. Custom built shoe storage in my hallway. Dyptique soap.

Reading that I have the responsibility for half of a relationship, not more.

I said to a counsellor, "I know I shouldn't mind." She said, "Why shouldn't you mind." (Permission to mind and be angry given to me in her four words - quite freeing.)

Not ironing several different articles which I formerly did iron.

Yoga classes.

Nice thread

1. "F*UCK IT" list (not to be confused with bucket list). Includes everything I'm voluntarily not going to do. Very liberating! (Idea is from an excellent book "Getting over being young")

2.Making own bread (water, salt, flour).

3.Making energy balls including chocolate ones (no more store bought chocolate).

4.Library card + audiobooks

5.Supplying mum with Bluetooth headphones, unlimited audiobooks, sewing machine and knitting supplies when she stays. Transformative!

6.Upcycling

7.Not stressing about being hungry (better scheduling/timing meals)

8.Market shopping, minimize supermarket

9.Kick ass underwear at all times.

Gorgeous cockerpoo
HRT
Moving out of London when DC were young
HRT
Wildflower areas in garden
HRT
Yoga
Realising that eating chocolate every day wouldn’t make me fat
HRT
Giving up caffeine for good
HRT
Divorce and cutting out nasty people - grey rock