What improved your quality of life, so much, you wish you did it sooner?

[piddocktrumperiness]

For me it's a few things:
-Learning what past trauma is and how it plays out in relationships
-Learn to say no to things and people and not feel bad about it
-Realising no one really notices or cares what I do or look like; felt liberated to not always wear lots of makeup, dress in a new outfit or have my roots done, or eat out alone, or do anything alone.
-Not watching much current tv and picking up a book instead
-Listening to James O' Brien on LBC ( I know he's not everyone's cup of tea- but I learned alot)
-Waking up v early to have some me time. This was hard as I was a night owl for many years.
-Declutter and only buy when I need something. To be honest this started as I had to downsize to an empty flat after my divorce and am on not much money but it has helped with not worrying about possessions and all the cleaning involved.
-Divorce my ex husband- biggest impact haha

What improved yours?

What do you do now? I’m a teacher and feeling at a crossroads. Don’t think this is what I want to do for much longer but don’t know what to do instead…

Prozac. I can't believe I lived so long thinking that level of anxiety was normal. I look back at the years I wasted and can't believe I carried on in such unbearable anguish.

Bariatric surgery

Sorry I didn’t see this earlier- it was a side effect of giving up Diet Coke and coffee as the caffeine made my hips and back ache and made me stresssed. I then noticed my previously awful plantar fasciitis disappeared. I then fell off the wagon and it returned but went after stppping the Coke only. It works for me and I’ve talked about it on here before under a previous babe with lots of others saying the same.

I’ve JUST discovered tongue scrapers! I’ve now bought my kids one - a lifetime of freshness awaits them. Who knew! 😬👍

Dog
Leaving phone outside bedroom > better sleep
Going to the gym every day
Audible

@Roxy69 thank you! Entering my third year of sobriety in approximately 42mins. No regrets!

I would have had a dog when my children were younger if I'd known how much my dog would add to family life.

That’s really interesting.

Cutting down to a 3 day working week to spend more time with the children, tackle housework and have a bit of me time.

Getting out into the countryside for some beautiful dog walks.

My big chunky over the ear headphones

Audible, just love it can listen to a good book in the go.

Not spending all my free time cleaning and tidying and just going out with he kids or reading a book (it's a work in progress)

Getting an allotment (my happy place).

This is a future one but started day 1 of my clear aligners from the cheap version of invisalign today, straightmyteeth. I have to use a new set each week and the difference in the slingers I will be using in 10 weeks time is unbelievable. If my teeth genuinely look like that in under 3 months time I will wish I’d done this years ago! Decided just to start fixing things that make me self conscious instead of spending all my time hating them. The monstrosity of a varicose vein on my thigh is next on the list 😬

Oh and my boiling water tap, honestly amazed that it was only a few hundred pounds and has made life sooo much easier. A cup of tea ready instantly whenever you want one 😃

Honestly? My abusive mother died and left me rich, despite 40 years of trying to spend all the family millions before her family could "get their grasping hands on it."

Giving up a highly paid, very stressful FT career which made me mentally and physically ill due to bullying management, to the point where I collapsed with a suspected heart attack and was hospitalised. Thankfully my heart was OK - it was a severe stress reaction. Five years on I now earn much less WFH 2 days a week doing very mundane work but with no stress or pressure.

Marrying my DH and having our wonderful daughter. We are now the proud grandparents to our darlings - our toddler grandson and baby granddaughter. I just can’t adequately describe how much utter joy and happiness they bring us. Being a Nan has totally transformed my life. I feel so very thankful for my wonderful family and that I can enjoy good health again.

No longer living in a house with someone who used a lot of bad language & was very negative.

I didn't realise how much it chipped away at me until it was gone.

I can go weeks now without hearing a single swear word & I honestly feel happier for it.

Life is much better for me with better language.
I end each day now with the things I am glad/thankful for/about & I sleep better than I have since I was a child.

Amazing how many people said quitting alcohol (aside from those who had an addiction, to whom all respect) just because they realized they don't actually enjoy it and it doesn't bring anything to their lives. Why did we drink it in the first place? British drinking culture is messed up.

Giving up alcohol. And dairy. Not commuting 5 days a week (just 2). Taking up tennis. Getting a cleaner. Life is not perfect but it is so much better.

Heather Robertson workouts on YouTube
HRT
Getting a cat
Ending a toxic friendship

😀

Audible. It is alleviating my guilt at not reading anywhere near as much as I used to.
Not cleansing my face in the morning, just splashing. My skin improved very quickly.
HRT.
Fluoxetine.
Gluten-free bread.

Stopping doing things out of worry about what other people might think. I’d say, stopping worrying about what other people might think. But that’s still a work in progress - I just don’t let that worry dictate my actions. And so far, the sky hasn’t fallen in and the world hasn’t ended. So it must be ok!

Taking a big step back from some volunteer commitments, pausing to think about what I actually want to spend my time and energy and money on. And being ok about saying no to the bits which don’t fit into that.

Accepting that I am not organised enough to benefit from using our local library; that the stress of children damaging books (due to disability not just carelessness) and losing books and being forever late returning them means that it’s actually a much better option for us to trawl the many charity shops locally instead. I just consider it paying the fines in advance! We buy a few, read them, donate them to a different shop when we are done. And do the same with children’s toy. Cheaper than new, much less stressful than a lending library.

Gardening. I dug a new flowerbed in lockdown and filled it full of flowers. And 2 years on it is full of bees and damselflies and butterflies, I have flowers I’ve bought and flowers neighbours have given me, a bit of fruit and veg. It’s colourful and messy and highly scented, and I just love it. It makes me stop and breathe every time I walk past it, which is multiple times a day, and every time there’s something new to notice. For 20 years before that it was just a forlorn bit of grass too small to mow and too big to ignore. And now it’s an oasis.

Learning to play a musical instrument - I left it until my 40s because I had no confideniin myself and thought I'd make a fool of myself if I tried. It's done just the opposite.

Cutting fuckwits out of my life - one friend in particular who for 30 years did nothing but put me down and make me feel like shit. Now I don't put up with anything like that from anyone.

Cutting off nasty jealous people.
Investing.
Looking after my teeth properly.
Retirement -only just done it and it's bliss.
Logburner.
Yoga.
YouTube make up tutorials.
Ditching all skin care containing alcohol and only buying ones where I understand the ingredients.
Feeding my dogs properly.
Having a wildlife friendly garden.

Going part time at work. I now work 22 hours a week and find it the perfect balance.

Batch cooking entire meals. If I'm going to spend an hour anyway making a lasagne, or moussaka or pasta bake, or pie etc then I just make two and freeze one to have the following week. It takes barely any extra time and means I can just shove a home cooked meal in the oven to heat through on busy mid-week evenings.

Getting a Spotify subscription and a portable Bluetooth speaker. I now listen to music all the time and can just carry the speaker with me into the bathroom for when I'm having a bath, into the garden on sunny days, into the kitchen when I'm cooking etc.

Going to the gym and buying wireless earphones. I don't do anything fancy there, usually just 20 mins on the treadmill or cross trainer then 20 mins of different weight machines but I go for my own mental health more than anything. I listen to interesting podcasts and zone out, it's my "me time" and I genuinely look forward to going.

This one is TMI but I don't care. Learning how to orgasm from penatrative sex. Took me until my mid 30s and I genuinely thought I couldn't but DH and I dedicated proper time to practicing lots and after more than 10 years together with DH I had my first orgasm from penatrative sex. It was transformative and upped my sex drive which has been positive for our relationship.

Agree about the musical instrument. I did play one already but started a new one in lockdown and now having lessons. I love music because it gives you a completely different way of thinking so it’s like a meditative break from everything else, plus when you get good enough to join a band it keeps you busy and active and you make new friends.

That's what I'm talking about.Power yo uou my friend 👏