Why so many ND now?

[Jumpking]

Had much with 4 friends yesterday. All the ladies told me they're waiting for ASD assessments for their children.

I know so many parents of ND kids.

I don't think I'm unique.

There was around 5 or 6 ND children in my primary school growing up. Now this is per class, minimum. The children weren't in special schools, they just didn't exist in such high numbers.

What do you think has been the sea change in our society that means there are now far more ND children than there were 30 years ago?

(And it isn't because they weren't diagnosed 30 years ago, or we weren't aware... There really weren't children in my school, or the school's of friends I've discussed this with, who had sensory issues, or clothing issues, or only beige and/or dry food, or toileting issues, or obsessive interests issues or all the other ND things which are so prevalent with children today)

Really interesting perspective! 😊

As others have said there is:

1. increased recognition/understanding
2. inclusion so children with additional learning needs/who are neurodiverse are in the same settings not hidden away
3. increased access to assessment (ish - v long waits)
4. a world that is more stressful for those who are neurodiverse, reducing ability to mask

But also contributing to neurodiversity:

5. increased maternal and paternal age (increases sporadic genetic diversity)
6. increased prenatal exposure to drugs (prescribed and non prescribed) and alcohol (at peak in 90s)
7. ?exposure to environmental toxins? (Jury is out on this but lots of research looking at it) - pesticides, pollution etc
8. slightly broadened criteria for diagnosis
9. survival of unwell or premature babies due to medical advances (more likely to be neurodiverse)

And it isn't because they weren't diagnosed 30 years ago, or we weren't aware... There really weren't children in my school, or the school's of friends I've discussed this with, who had sensory issues, or clothing issues, or only beige and/or dry food, or toileting issues, or obsessive interests issues or all the other ND things which are so prevalent with children today

It's exactly that. I was so quiet and masking so hard to fit in that nobody knew how much I was struggling with sensory issues. I didn't have the freedom to share that or the parents to understand that. We were all very much put into a box of expectation regarding behaviour and the easier was to get through the day for me was to say nothing and 'act normal' (please don't anyone come at me for that description, I am reliving my painful childhood and it fits) - my toiling issues were so bad I regularly had utis because I could r manage to clean myself properly. At school nobody would know this and at home it was something you got told off about; not supported with. I had massive food issues and I spent most of my childhood deeply within myself and not only did I not understand any of this but nobody was there to help me so I put up and shut up. Masking is horrifically painful but it was the easier option for me. But I was absolutely in school and giving no 'strong' outward signs - I mean even with sitting quiet and faking it there were signs but these things were less understood and many children were missed.

Newsflash..🙄

My friend was diagnosed with anxiety, OCD and depression in her teens. Her family said she was hard work. 🙄 In actual fact, she had autism. Being diagnosed meant she accessed the help she needed rather than antidepressants. Accessing treatments that she didn’t have before because she didn’t know the real reason she struggled, have really helped her. Now life is much less tiring, potentially on the level of tiring you feel. Label and diagnosis very useful I’d say.

I see where you're coming from on this.

Hadn't thought about the way that stimulus has increased in the environment we live in since the 80s. Much harder to find a calmer place to be, and higher parental expectation for their child to be a part of every organised club and event under the sun.

I'm autistic, only got my formal diagnosis after 60. We were there, we just didn't have the recognition.

My DH realized he had high functioning autism when our son was diagnosed. For him, it was a lightbulb moment, suddenly he understood why he didn't get on with some people, why he misunderstood the world and the way things just 'are'. He understood why some thought he was standoffish, why he misinterpreted 'looks' and facial expressions. Why he got things 'wrong' when others seemed to understand the rules of social behaviour without being told. In other words, it helped him to make sense of a very confusing world. Surely that can't be a bad thing?

Those contributions 5-9 are definitely food for thought. Thank you. I hadn't thought about the link with those factors.

I have a ND child. I strongly suspect that both me and DH are not entirely NT, ditto various family members on both sides.

We live in an affluent area surrounded by hyper intelligent people who have largely waited until mid 30s to start a family. Many of the other parents at school work in careers compatible with ND, and have offspring that exhibit traits compatible with my child’s diagnosis.

but your point about your school experience doesn’t resonate with me. Thinking about it, I would say at least 20% of my year at school had some degree of diagnosable ND, some very pronounced cases of hyper intellegent children who were unable to learn which are actually quite heartbreaking. I came top of my year at school, but I don’t think I was actually the most intelligent person there iyswim? I was just the person who was most academically able and also able to
apply myself.

I agree with the op. I went to a tiny primary school in the 80's, one class per year, and I don't think there was anyone with any kind of issue the entire time I was there.

In my much larger secondary school, 7 or 8 forms per year, there were a few physically disabled kids but no autistic kids.

I’m neurodiverse.

There was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I’d have been diagnosed 30 years ago.

instead, I was:

Highly strung; a snob; disorganised; a child prodigy (I was good at music); homesick; messy; forgetful; anxious; a funny little thing; quirky; no filter.

Also, OP, kids ARE getting diagnosed these days (DS1 has ASD/ADHD) and parents are reflecting on their own struggles.

There were also very few fat kids either.

I was at primary school in the early 70s. Boys were caned. Girls were given the slipper. You ate the utterly disgusting food because the dinner ladies bullied you and kept you in until you did. My brother regularly vomited after being forced to eat it. There were naughty boys. I dare say the girls were frantically masking to avoid being hit. The boys were made to sit on a table by the headmasters desk so he could wack them with a ruler if they did anything he didn't like. In 'top infants' ( year 2 these days) we did writing and maths in the morning and then art, playing etc in the afternoon. The children who didn't finish the morning work spent all afternoon doing it. I dare say they had all sorts of difficulties that were undiagnosed.

Ableist bollocks.

Many adults have suffered mental health problems and barely scraped through life with undiagnosed conditions. Many have been misdiagnosed and medicated incorrectly for years. It changed my life being diagnosed. Would you say the same for someone who had been misdiagnosed with a broken knee then found out it was actually their foot?

Looking back on my school years in the 7s/80s, I can definitely pinpoint several peers who clearly had ADHD. They were just the "naughty children" though. there very definitely was less diagnosis or understanding of neurodiversity back then.

That you know of. Many of us hid our problems.

Did you really know everyone in the school to know that?

@Boymumsoymum i think your point is valid

Exposure to alcohol in utero before a positive pregnancy test can cause ND behaviour.

Women in the last 30 years are more likely to have drunk any alcohol at this stage than previous generations.

Imo a reasonable proportion of ND diagnoses are actually unrecognised FASD.

We need to end the stigma of FASD. The vast majority of women don't realise these risks during the very first days post conception.

Minus the help as an adult, (because I was offered none) you could have described me.

@Boymumsoymum I agree with some of what you are saying- we should have a society that works for everyone and is inclusive regardless of need, and those people who need more support should be given it. In an ideal world, shops would be sensory friendly, people would be understanding of difference and the world would be a happier place.

But, for me, having an adult diagnosis changed everything and in a very good way.

I was not coping well, as I mentioned previously I internalised a lot of my struggles growing up. On paper, I am very successful- 2 degrees, married, kids. I was expected to go really far academically and in whatever my chosen career was. In reality, I am a sahm because I burnt out in a drastic fashion trying to appear neurotypical and keep on top of everything- work, home, kids, etc. (I cope well now that I understand my neurodiversity more and build in better coping mechanisms to my day).

When I say I get overwhelmed I mean: I cannot stop crying. My clothes cause me pain. Someone touching me on the shoulder causes me pain and deep emotional discomfort as though they have crossed a huge boundary. The tiniest sounds are like someone is playing on drums right next to my ear. My skin feels like ants are crawling on it. My voice refuses to work unless I force it, and if I force it, it will be one or two words that sound snappy and too loud for the context. If I don't get the opportunity to go by myself and decompress, I will end up having a meltdown which looks very much like the childs version: hitting my head with my hands/ pulling my hair / throwing things at walls etc

Being "overwhelmed" or "tired" for a neurodiverse adult is not the "normal" level of tired. Sleep doesn't fix it. Its more to do with being overstimulated than physically weary. It takes days to recover from that level of overwhelm, and if it reaches meltdown it can take weeks at times.

“Every child would eat most of what was given to them every day.”

You can’t possibly know that. There’s no way that as a child you were that aware of what was going on with other children.

I was the best behaved child at school and even I managed to hide the food I hadn’t eaten, in the face of tough dinner ladies! If even they didn’t notice, no way the other children in the dinner hall did.

Hey, I was diagnosed late as ND, autistic, Adhd, dyspraxic. I was the kid with the report that read 'needs to focus and stop daydreaming' 'would be successful if they applied themselves' and a myriad of other statements. I was also the kid who was bullied as they didn't fit in no matter what they tried to do. I present as social, have always held down jobs and had a successful career path.

There are a few different factors in all of the conversations above. Firstly, the majority of us who are ND are a combination of conditions, not simply a singular condition so we all present differently. The original stereotype for autism for instance was generally male and along the media stereotyping you saw in films like Rainman.

Secondly, many of us being diagnosed later is also due to as you get older, your coping mechanisms for getting through life start crumbling as you end up juggling more than just your own needs. A partner, a family, more pressured work, all of these can lead to challenges in keeping everything together. Covid has also had an impact as we all had to learn to function in a completely different world where the rules kept changing.

Another piece of all of this from an ADHD perspective is that hormone changes from menopause for instance can massively affect ADHD.

There are a few definitions being thrown around that need clarifying in all of this too.

Neurodiversity, from a scientific viewpoint, is that all brains are different. Neurodivergent or neurominority would be the more appropriate terminology for those of us with brains wired differently.

There is also a difference in the two phrases "learning disability" and "learning difficulty" which people need to be conscious of, a learning disability aligns with conditions affecting iq whereas learning difficulty doesn't involve iq but conditions which present the person with challenges due to for instance dyslexia, dyspraxia, dysgraphia amongst many other conditions.

I will stop there as I could write buckets more as I do this for a living partly nowadays

Except the autistic women I know have a trail of broken relationships & friendships behind them.

Chronic eating disorders that have lead to osteoporosis in their 30 & 40s bit yes other than that they are good!

I’m not sure I understand why posters are saying school is very dull now compared to years ago. The curriculum may be full on but the classrooms are full of bright displays, much more working in groups, much more noise and chatter. Can be sensory overload for some children.

Some children just floundered through school, being ‘slow’.

I can't understand why adults choose to be assessed for ASD/ADHD, what difference is being assigned a label going to make?

If you have gone 30/40/50 years without that label, what is there to gain?

I thought my dd was a bit quirky, socially not great but very bright, so no worries from school.
Even when I took her to the GP for low moods when she was 12, I still didn't have an inkling where that appointment would lead, which was to an autism diagnosis at 14.
Has it helped? Not really. She struggles on a daily basis with things we take for granted but now we know why. There is little we can do to change things or help her but at least now we know why she is the way she is.