Why so many ND now?

[Jumpking]

Had much with 4 friends yesterday. All the ladies told me they're waiting for ASD assessments for their children.

I know so many parents of ND kids.

I don't think I'm unique.

There was around 5 or 6 ND children in my primary school growing up. Now this is per class, minimum. The children weren't in special schools, they just didn't exist in such high numbers.

What do you think has been the sea change in our society that means there are now far more ND children than there were 30 years ago?

(And it isn't because they weren't diagnosed 30 years ago, or we weren't aware... There really weren't children in my school, or the school's of friends I've discussed this with, who had sensory issues, or clothing issues, or only beige and/or dry food, or toileting issues, or obsessive interests issues or all the other ND things which are so prevalent with children today)

My mum refused to get a diagnosis for me because she knew (issues with brother not being believed and trying to get an unrelated diagnosis for me that was constantly ignored) that she wouldn't be believed. This was around 2000.

I think people like labels.

I think being hungry is more likely to have even worse consequences than making a sandwich, though. That's what I meant. Even NT children would struggle to focus on school when hungry.

And that's probably exactly why the parent makes the lunch all the time - so the child doesn't have to weigh up which would be worse (and likely make themselves more stressed in the process!).

@pixie5121 , but maybe the kid who had their sandwich made for them by their mum would have been able to manage today’s lovely day in the park as well as tomorrow’s busy day of appointments. The point everyone keeps trying to make here is that you are not the only arbiter of what a person with ASC is capable of.

Society constantly talks about a spectrum so, just possibly, your experience of autism could be 17-degrees removed from that of my DD. Plus, factor in my DD’s blindness and other diagnoses, and it might possibly be 19.5-degrees on the ND scale. But, actually, what the fuck does it matter to you if my DD is unable to make a sandwich? Why are you taking it as a massive affront to all autistics?

As it happens, my DD doesn’t really like bread very much so she takes crackers and cheese in her lunch box every day; it’s known as more than one way to skin a cat (a very useful talent for everyone to know and not just the neuro-diverse).

We weren't diagnosed. Simple. I am 45 and was diagnosed 3 years ago.

I was the kid who wouldn't eat, my mum made me packed lunch. I had sensory issues but I wouldn't have said anything to anyone about them. I was clever but did not have the skills to excel at school or socially.

I went to a small school (only about 600 kids in my secondary so only half that Went to the same first and middle school as me as 2 feeder schools) and we has one profoundly autistic boy and I could name a lot of kids who would have diagnoses if we were at school now, I was in a generation of ND girls who were overlooked (or maybe I wasn't as I do remember seeing an Ed psych once but no idea why). I masked a lot and still do. I still don't understand myself lol.

I'm glad that it's a more well known thing as I was not helped at all by being undiagnosed. The more that are the better.

Ps I am quite offended about your comments of sensory, clothing and eating issues. I don't get offended but you are clearly showing your ignorance about the subject.

As a professional (social worker for adults with disabilities), I don’t “high functioning” meaning as the person functions on a higher level. I am aware they may have immense difficulties that significantly impair their lives as much as someone “low functioning”. I am aware they just present differently. People are people so you can’t neatly place them in a box and make assumptions but based on paper, I wouldn’t assume someone who is considered “high functioning” to necessarily to be independent and I wouldn’t assume someone who is considered “low functioning” to be totally dependent. This is a bit black and white but I do try to be open minded.

Agree with misdiagnosis and ignorance in the past. I'm a 40 year old woman who was only diagnosed with adhd last year. My 5 year old son is now on the waiting list for assessment. 30 years ago he would have been called a "naughty little boy".

I don’t think saying “neurotypicals often confused empathy and sympathy” is any different from saying “neurodiverse people cannot show empathy”. It’s too black and white. People are people, we are shades of grey. Some NT people inherently lack the ability to understand and demonstrate empathy and sympathy, some ND people are incredibly in tune with emotional states and are very skilled in being empathetic and sympathetic and vice versa.

”I'm saying that it makes more sense to find a way to obtain enough food for your lunch than go hungry for four years, whether that's making your own lunch from stuff in the house or asking for money or finding a small income source so you can buy your own lunch.”

Clearly you are resourceful but many people actually do lack the ability to reach out and find solutions for their problem. Not all people with an ASC but many people, especially younger people who have yet to learn the skill.

Re making sandwiches, my DS would not actually open the fridge because 'someone else had touched it' so he would not actually be able to take anything out. He had his own cupboard for foods that didn't require refrigeration, but the fridge was out of bounds. He wouldn't use the microwave because guess what ? In the end, we bought him his own fridge that no-one else touched, so he could have his food away from the rest of the family. He had his own cutlery,plate etc not to be used by anyone else, or he would have a meltdown. Oh, and a microwave so objectionable foods NEVER,EVER went into it.

I’m not saying non ND people are marginalised but I’m saying you’re making sweeping statements and it’s unfair. In that NT group are people with varying levels of cognitive deficits e.g dementia or brain injury. I don’t think there is one pervasive school of thought anymore that people who are ND “lack empathy”. Of course some people do still think that but time and research has moved on.
You don’t speak for all ND people. I don’t speak for all NT people.

Some people just fail to realise that their presentation of <insert any condition> isn’t the standard. People have varying needs.

Some of these posters need to look up the ’social model’ of disability. Back in the 17th century dyslexia wasn’t a thing because not everyone was expected to be literate. In medieval times if you exhibited ASD tendencies you’d have probably fitted in rather well in a monastery or convent with services four times a day, quiet prayer and a rosary in your hands. As for ADHD it was probably an advantage on the front line of an ever changing battle situation.

It’s the Industrial Revolution which has given rise to mass production and an assembly-line model of education which allows no room for individual variation and encourages the idea that anything not fitting the sausage machine should be spat out on to the rejects pile. Theoretically the advent of online communication should allow for a much more individualised model of education from now on, but I think we still have a way to go.

That was an interesting post @ThomasinaGallico.

I'm fond of Adidas myself.

In my experience, a lot of NT people think ND people lack empathy because what they want is sympathy, a pat on the back and a 'there, there', where the ND person is more focused on a) sharing their own experiences to demonstrate understanding and b) finding an actual solution.

But you understand this is just your experience? The ND people in my life don't show empathy in the way you are describing at all. Nor do the NT people that I know describe empathy as there there and a pat on the back.

And 'ND twitter' deciding something doesn't make it fact.

I have to say on a personal level, I did primary in the 90's and secondary in the 00's.

I am still friends with most of my class mates from not only primary but also secondary. Only 1 of the cohort had diagnosed ND when we are in school, it has remained that way to this day.

We all see eachother regularly down the rugby club so it's not like we've all grown apart. Were all pretty close and have been since we were 5, were all in our 30's now with our own children.

The real question is

why so many wankers now?

To think we have so much more knowledge about neurodiversity and ableism and yet, as this thread reveals, so many people remain wilfully ignorant and offensive. They even want to advertise their ignorance by plastering it across social media. Why is that?

"In my experience, a lot of NT people think ND people lack empathy because what they want is sympathy, a pat on the back and a 'there, there', where the ND person is more focused on a) sharing their own experiences to demonstrate understanding and b) finding an actual solution."

This is often used for differences between men and women as well.

""Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen."

I think one thing that should be mentioned is that parents (in general) these days want their child's symptoms to be diagnosed. The parents lives revolve around their childrens needs in a way that just didn't happen when I was a child in the 1980's. When I was young I complained about my jumper being itchy but was told to wear it or we wouldn't be going to the bonfire party/wherever we were going that required a warm jumper. Nowadays I wouldn't dream of doing that to my own dc and would probably think nothing of searching high and low on the internet for jumpers suitable for children with sensory issues.