Why so many ND now?

[Jumpking]

Had much with 4 friends yesterday. All the ladies told me they're waiting for ASD assessments for their children.

I know so many parents of ND kids.

I don't think I'm unique.

There was around 5 or 6 ND children in my primary school growing up. Now this is per class, minimum. The children weren't in special schools, they just didn't exist in such high numbers.

What do you think has been the sea change in our society that means there are now far more ND children than there were 30 years ago?

(And it isn't because they weren't diagnosed 30 years ago, or we weren't aware... There really weren't children in my school, or the school's of friends I've discussed this with, who had sensory issues, or clothing issues, or only beige and/or dry food, or toileting issues, or obsessive interests issues or all the other ND things which are so prevalent with children today)

I agree!

And I applied for PIP in October, then had an absolutely awful assessment in April. It was so demeaning and exhausting, and there is no opportunity to rectify or clarify anything until the decision is made. I ended up crying on the phone to someone in the call centre and they were so cold and unhelpful. Apparently mine was sent for audit so I've been waiting for weeks and they've only just had the report back a few days ago, so now the 8-week timeframe for a decision has started.

I'm expecting a resounding no but I have contacted a charity to help with mandatory reconsideration.

I'm in Scotland though and PIP assessment is changing hands up here at end of August. I've read the documentation and it looks like it will be more like the old DLA system.

I know the origins, but just because it originated somewhere bad, doesn't mean the label itself still can't be relevant.

My diagnosis is NOT Autism, it's Aspergers. I think it's important to differentiate between the two, personally. They're not the same thing and I wish they weren't treated as the same in the media.

Or maybe I've remembered my school days pretty well with my equal amount of male/female friends as a child, and there's a lot of ND people who are drawn to this thread to share their story due to its title.

I'd also surmise that an internet forum is an easier place to communicate if ND, so maybe a higher proportion of ND people using this forum than found in the general population, as its not needing the nuances of body language, tonality, social conventions etc

I know this is all based on conjecture and assumptions, not sure how you could measure it.

Going back to the food issues, however. I happily ate school lunches all through primary. I stopped eating them at secondary because there they were so badly cooked, nasty and poor quality they were inedible - I can feel the gristle in my mouth now and the greasy mess that accompanied a cobbler, along with the scoops of potatoe with black eyes gazing at you alongside the lumps that comprised a broken nose in the white moonfaced ugliness of that soul scoop. My mother therefore packed me a cheese and tomato sandwich, an apple and one Kipling slice every day for 4.5 years. Mainly because she had no imagination, resented doing it and thought that was sufficient for a growing teenager. I was starving from 12 to 16!

Not my intention at all. Lunch with 4 people, all waiting for ASD assessments for their children piqued my interest.

Got me thinking all yesterday.

I'm definitely learning lots too, and thinking about more than I am was yesterday.

Thank you to all who are teaching me things. I'm learning lots, which is making me think about many things.

There is something extra going on now. I don't think it's as simple as 'we're getting better at diagnosing', but I don't know what it is.

Not being funny but why was your mother packing your lunch at that age? I was expected to make my own from about 11 onwards.

@pixie5121 Well, you ARE funny. On a thread about ND children ...

Bold fail there!!

Because my mother just did. I wouldn’t have been given that much agency over my lunch and what went in the lunch box by my mother.

Lots of ND people struggle with basic tasks like showering, dressing themselves and making sandwiches, even if they otherwise present as "functioning".

Not being funny but why was your mother packing your lunch at that age? I was expected to make my own from about 11 onwards.

this may come as a shock to you but all families are different. Hardly difficult to understand.

Thanks @coffeecupsandfairylights I was just about to say something like this in reply, but you expressed it better than I could!

After family members in my children's generation started getting diagnosed us adults had lightbulbs going off all over the place. My brother was the (now) typical ADHD kid who was allowed to run around the classroom because he wouldn't sit still otherwise. My dad hid in his sweater when sounds got too much. I couldn't talk about much beside my boyband obsession for several years. My sister didn't speak for a year as a teenager. We're all academically capable and our family has always been about keeping up appearances for the outside world while at the same time accepting of our individual quirks, so no flags were eve raised. But the self medication with alcohol and drugs and mental breakdowns/burnout many of us have suffered over the years have not been fun. And neither has having to keep up with this drive for productivity society is in. We were always considered 'weird' in our village but that was explained away with us not being from there and the village not being accepting of outsiders. Looking at it now most of us if not all are so obviously neurodiverse. But no way would anyone have used that term for us before this current wave of understanding. I get it's baffling for 'outsiders' but for that are getting diagnosed at the moment (so many women over 40) it feels like homecoming. Finally being seen and finally having words for finding the world so overwhelming. Thank God, I say.

You're welcome!

I didn't mean to butt in, but some of the ignorance on this thread is utterly astounding to me 😂

I'm not sure what being ND has to do with the ability to make a sandwich?

I'm well aware of how challenging it is to be autistic, even so-called high functioning. Let's not pretend making a sandwich is some impossible task.

You are clearly not remotely aware, never mind 'well' aware of you think autism can't affect someone's functioning ability. I still need reminded to do many many basic tasks and sometimes I experience shutdown where I simply cannot move from the sofa, never mind put a lunch box together.

plenty of autistic people are unable to do basic tasks and end up in facilities with full time carers, they cannot even communicate that they would like to eat a sandwich Let alone prepare one.

@pixie5121 , did you mean to write such a disablist/ableist comment? I’m amazed that this has been allowed to stand by @MNHQ.

I’ll give you an example of a child who is not able to pack her own lunch: my DD, who is autistic and BLIND. Granted, she will have a good go, but not all packaging has Braille so she can find it hard to differentiate between peanut butter and Marmite, for example. Her school is a No Nut school due to a pupil with a severe allergy so I’m not prepared to take the risk of potentially killing someone else’s child in the name of promoting independence in my own child.

I am sorry my observations on school lunches have caused such a shit storm. I didn't intend that to be the case. I didn't eat them because they were vile, not due to any food/sensory issues. There is a part of me that thinks chips and nuggets would have been better than what we were served. My mother made me a bit of a stingy packed lunch just because she did - she also used to iron my knickers and polish my shoes - just because she did.

DD who does have some ASD traits and ADHD needed a compartmentalised lunch box so food didn't touch and didn't eat any gravy or sauces until her late teens. When she was self harming by restricting food, amongst other harmful practices, I used to make her smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches, using a biscuit cutter to make them pretty and made her eat at least three little penny sandwiches in the car on the way to school, and was glad if she had half a cup of the hot chocolate I made every morning for her.

No actual answer but I do think the following modern issues probably have dire impacts on young children in today’s society:

Poor diets/ reliance on fast food/ additives

Low quality of food laden with pesticides, plastics, preservatives

Drinking chemical filled drinks as young children

Drinking energy drinks as early teens (Monster- the clues in the name)

Parents dabbling in or properly using drugs / binge drinking before having dc

Children using devices for extended periods of time- blue light effects won’t be fully understood for years

No real bonding with nature

Hyper over stimulating bombardment wherever you go

Genetic mutations

Less socialising/ playing with peers, remember when we played out as children?

Education system that is under funded over stretched

Low interaction periods with parents as everyone preoccupied with devices

Except that the children getting diagnosed often comes with a blinding realisation for at least one parent that they, too, are ND, as are several of their other relatives through the generations.

@Neverendingdust

In response:

I cook from scratch every single day and my children (aged 14 & 6) have never been to McDonald’s etc.

We eat organic, wherever possible.

My kids drink water and organic milk.

My kids have NEVER drunk energy drinks.

I don’t use drugs; I’m an adoptive parent, so I am not responsible for my childrens pre-natal experiences.

We are a TV-free household and I am super-strict on the access to devices.

We live in the middle of woods and my kids regularly access Forest School.

My elder daughter rarely leaves her bedroom so she is not exposed to over-stimulation.

Genetic mutations - I don’t know as I have no know of my adoptive children’s birth parents’ medical histories.

Less playing out - I spent 5 (bastarding) hours in our local big park yesterday so my six-year-old could meet up with various friends.

Education system - yes, not fit for purpose.

I wish I had the opportunity to have low-interaction periods with both of my children! They both require me as their sole audience to their various activities and actions from the minute they wake up to the minute they finally cave in and go to sleep.

My elder DD is STILL blind and diagnosed with neonatal abstinence syndrome, autism, binge eating disorder and ADHD.