If you consider yourself to have a ‘healthy’ relationship with alcohol…

[Cryingbutstilltrying]

…what does that actually mean, for you?
Previously I had no off switch for alcohol. If I started drinking I would easily drink a bottle of wine in an evening, every evening.
Before Christmas I stopped drinking. It wasn’t always easy. I allowed myself to drink over the holiday period and before I knew it I had slipped back into the old ways. So I stopped again, completely.
DH and I were given some champagne for our anniversary last month and we shared it at home, and I surprised myself by enjoying it but once it was gone, being fine with that. It was a special occasion.
So I’m now wondering, is this the sort of relationship most people have with alcohol? Where you can have a few glasses at a celebration happily and then not the rest of the time? So Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries. Maybe once a month?
If you consider your drinking to be ‘healthy’, as in, not a problem, how often do you drink?

I can take it or leave it, I think my longest completely dry spell was about seven years. This year I've had alcohol on two occasions so far.
I'm in my fifties now and really starting to see a difference between friends who drink in moderation and the ones who drink more heavily.

This is me too. I grew up with my parents having a small glass with dinner and I do it too. I wouldn't make a nice dinner and not have it with wine. But I never feel any need to have more and I never binge drink. I also never drink soft drinks of any variety or eat any crap. I guess I'm a snobby drinker! I can't get my head around drinking a fizzy drink with a nice meal or in a restaurant. I also can't stand being drunk.

I think about modelling drinking to my children and showing that's its fine to drink in moderation. I don't like 'banning' anything as it just makes it alluring (I don't totally ban my children from eating crap either).

That said, I totally see that if you have no off-switch around alcohol, you should restrict it.

We have bottles and bottles of wine in the house, but only because people insist on buying it for us ( I get loads from work at Christmas and a couple of relatives buy it for us as well). We probably open two or three bottles a year, at Christmas, birthdays etc. Apart from that I may have the odd single malt over the Christmas period. I reckon that I probably have around ten alcoholic drinks a year. I enjoy it when I have it, but in all honestly, I could also live without it. Definitely don't need it to have a good time. My dcs, both adults, have a similar approach to it.

DH and I don't drink in-between social occasions. We rarely drink at home just the two of us.

What I guess I don't understand is how people drink, say a bottle of wine a night - hangovers are just so horrible. I couldn't imagine waking up most mornings feeling like that. I never drink Sunday to Thursday - I wouldn't be able to get up for work.

So I'd say that my hangovers are the reason I have a healthy relationship with alcohol!

Rarely drink at home. In a pub I only have about 2 alcoholic drinks and then I switch to soft drinks.

To be honest, I don't feel the need to drink. Being sober doesn't bother me. I do, however, have a completely unhealthy relationship with sugar

i rarely drink at home. My dh does- but I prefer not to. It’s just not soemthing that occurs to me. I’d never have a drink if I were home alone. If there’s a open bottle of wine in the fridge I don’t really register it. However, I know if there’s a open bag of crisps, bag of cookies, an open chocolate box it plays on my mind constantly. I keep sneaking back to it. I keep having one last bit. I hide how much of it I’ve had. I buy large quantities of junk to eat when I’m alone. I feel shame and regret over my consumption. I promise myself I won’t do it again, but do. Is this how alcoholics feel about booze? I don’t want to trivialise alcoholism- but is that what it’s like if you have an alcohol addiction?

Same here. I can take or leave alcohol and often go months without touching it, though equally enjoy the occasional boozy night out or couple of glasses of wine at home. I just don't give it any thought.

With sugar, I cannot take it or leave it: if it's in the house I will eat it and eat all of it, so I simply don't buy it. I used to think this was my lack of will power until I learned more about what sugar does to our brains.

I think there is a strong genetic component to both. I recently had genetic testing done and found I have extremely high genetic sensitivity to sugar (carbohydrates) and low sensitivity to alcohol. I don't know about the rest of my family but there is no alcoholism anywhere and several people battle with their weight despite being raised with healthy eating.

@Bronzeturtle yes that’s exactly it. An open bottle calls to me. A bottle of white wine in the fridge ready to go is asking to be drunk. A bottle of whisky in the cupboard that I see when I go to get the oil out for cooking says hi, I’ll see you later.
Only my own self control and knowing I had to drive or be out in public would stop me from drinking it. If I was on a beach AI holiday before kids I would drink all day every day. I would never have jeopardised my work and that was what held me in check but the lockdowns saw it creep up and up.
If you drink enough alcohol, often enough, and you’re young/healthy enough (or just lucky) you may not get raging hangovers on a moderate consumption. I didn’t after a bottle of wine. Would go to bed at midnight and get up at 7am no problem. But it does take its toll and now aged 45 I was starting to feel it. That was part of my trigger to take action.
I am truly grateful for all your insights, I need to understand the mind of a non drinker rather than an ex drinker, I hope that makes sense!

I drink healthy. I drink socially but not regularly. Sometimes I fancy a glass of wine or a gin whilst cooking dinner. I will have one, sometimes two. Sometimes I'll go months without thinking of having a drink. I know my limits. Sometimes I do choose to get plastered, once every few years when I fancy a blow out and will do a bottomless brunch or a day drinking sesh. I then realise I hate getting that wasted and forget about it for months. I have booze on my top shelf that has remained there for years, my christmas gin still has half a bottle left etc. I do believe alcohol is something to be enjoyed every now and again and there's nothing wrong with that.

I like a drink or two most weekends. I'm just turning 50 and I look quite young.

I can take it or leave it. I enjoy a glass of wine or a g&t from time to time, but I can go for weeks or months without, and I would rarely have more than one glass even when I do drink. I just don't feel the need.

I do drink a lot of water and black coffee. I walk a lot and don't over eat.

I have 4-6 units on a weekend over 2/3 days, if we are staying in. If I go out (every few months) I might have about 6 units. I can not have any and be fine, I can go out and not drink.

I'll go for months without any alcohol, but if I'm out for a meal in company and there's wine on the table I'll have a glass or two, when I visit my parents I have a nip of whisky with my dad after dinner each evening, and sometimes DH and I will share a bottle of ale with a meal. It wouldn't occur to me to reach for alcohol as a comfort or to help me relax, I'd rather have a cup of tea. In the past I've accidentally got drunk a couple of times (it doesn't take much since I drink so little) and didn't like the feeling at all.

I drink once or twice a week, one or two glasses each time. Absolutely no desire for a third so I don’t have it.

Yes my relationship with alcohol is healthy. In a normal/average week, where I don't have any out of the ordinary social plans, I don't drink Sunday-Weds. I then have a small glass of wine on Thursday and as much as I like on Friday and Saturday which, these days, tends to be one large glass each night, sipped very slowly.

I have a thimble of Sherry every 3rd Easter, unless I'm driving at any point in the next 3 months.

Christmas we have a red wine gravy, so a small splash of that on my potatoes.

I think my relationship with alcohol is generally pretty healthy these days. I'll go weeks or even months without drinking and not miss it. Equally I might have 1 or 2 drinks at home (glass of wine, g&t, or fruit cider) at home every now and then. Mostly if I pour myself a second I'll find I can't finish it.

It creeps up a little bit over Christmas or on holiday but it's never a problem going back to very infrequent drinking/ small amounts
again afterwards.

Where it isn't so healthy is the rare occasions I get do go out toddler-free, for meals and drinks with DH/ other adults. It's rare and I get a bit giddy and carried away, and I can definitely still put away quite a lot of units despite being seriously out of practice. It's just not worth how absolutely dreadful I feel the next day now though- there's been two occasions recently, a family wedding and a meal out with a group of friends, both times I felt horrible for days after. I have a few more things coming up and I'm definitely going to a)avoid wine altogether, I just don't think I can handle it anymore and b) set myself a strict 3 drink limit to alternate with plenty of water.

Rarely drink but when I do I’ll have a couple of glasses max. Honestly what stops me is:
horrible taste
hate mornings & even harder after a drink
the sugar content / weight gain
makes me feel crap- physically & mentally
..with all those negatives I don’t see any positive other than a shared drink at a celebratory occasion..

i think if alcohols a problem you need to ask why - what am I using alcohol ‘for’ and why; then you can treat the root. x

😅

Isn't it weird how booze and fags are both poisonous and give you cancer but no one ever talks about a having a healthy relationship with fags. As in even one a week would be considered harmful.

just reading your whole thread & thinking over your mention of seeing a bottle in passing for later. I hate having a drink in the house & have never had one on my own at home! My thinking on it is that it’s a waste, so I’m not at all interested in it. If I’m going to feel crappy, or consume extra sugary calories, I’d much rather do it at a nice meal out or a party etc, not sat at home on my own! It seems a really inefficient way to ‘enjoy myself’ if that makes sense. I’d rather have a cup of tea in that scenario than ‘waste’ a drink in that setting! X

I very rarely, if ever, drink when I'm at home. I have bottles and bottles of wine, champagne, beer and spirits but they're mostly used for parties. I go out with a group of friends once every other month and we tend to have a bit of a blow out, but that's me done then.

So I'd say that's relatively healthy.

Just to add, I take very strong painkillers on a daily basis alongside other medication so
I tend to avoid alcohol the majority of the time due to them (plus I find it makes my pain worse?)

Mumsnet probably isn't the best place to ask though, the views on alcohol can be... restrictive..

I will drink on a night out, and thats kind of it. Vodka with soft drinks in nightclubs or if we're having a party.
But I know when I am drunk or tipsy and I always know when I want to stop drinking.
Going out was very frequent when I was younger and I knew my limits then too, can go months without it without noticing

I don't miss it, don't think about it, don't need it.

I don't drink it in the evenings or with a meal in a pub. I never crave it, I don't really like the way alcohol tastes anyway