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Original poster

If you consider yourself to have a ‘healthy’ relationship with alcohol…

142 replies

Cryingbutstilltrying · 16/05/2022 18:40

…what does that actually mean, for you?
Previously I had no off switch for alcohol. If I started drinking I would easily drink a bottle of wine in an evening, every evening.
Before Christmas I stopped drinking. It wasn’t always easy. I allowed myself to drink over the holiday period and before I knew it I had slipped back into the old ways. So I stopped again, completely.
DH and I were given some champagne for our anniversary last month and we shared it at home, and I surprised myself by enjoying it but once it was gone, being fine with that. It was a special occasion.
So I’m now wondering, is this the sort of relationship most people have with alcohol? Where you can have a few glasses at a celebration happily and then not the rest of the time? So Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries. Maybe once a month?
If you consider your drinking to be ‘healthy’, as in, not a problem, how often do you drink?

OP posts:
Coatandhat · 16/05/2022 19:30

I have a bottle of wine per week. Usually 2 glasses Fri, Sat and Sunday but sometimes I'll only have 1 glass one of those nights so it stretches for longer. When DH also drank wine, we used to drink several glasses every night with dinner but it started to creep up so I made a conscious decision to only drink at the weekend.

Gladioli23 · 16/05/2022 19:30

Oh and yes, masses of alcohol in the house but that's because I buy it like I drink regularly and just don't - I got 2 bottles of gin for my birthday (8 months ago) and I'm halfway through one of them.

I get through wine a bit faster - I bought 20 bottles at the start of December and have 11 left so 9 in 5 and a bit months, and that will include having people for dinner.

Climbingthelaundrymountain · 16/05/2022 19:31

I have a glass of wine once in a blue moon at home. I go out rarely and have 2-3 drinks. I don't limit myself but that's how much I enjoy. I stop before I'm not enjoying it anymore. My father was an alcoholic and I'm aware addiction can be an inherited trait. My brother felt as if he was getting too reliant on alcohol so he doesn't drink at all. I wish I had a healthy relationship with food but that's my problem I guess.

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Trafficjamlog · 16/05/2022 19:31

I have a couple of glasses of wine about 3 nights a week. I barely drink spirits, maybe a couple of times a year and never at home. In MN terms I’m probably a raging alcoholic but in reality I never drink more than half a bottle of wine in a one sitting and can’t remember when I last got drunk. I never touch a drop if I am driving

ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 16/05/2022 19:33

I think I have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I have plenty of drink in the house but can take it or leave it. I might have a small gin during the week if I fancy it and a couple of large ones at the weekend. It’s not every week or every weekend though. I have wine in but I don’t drink it so it gets saved if friends come over and want some.

I drink more with friends and have what I might consider a ‘blowout’ once every few months.

Sunnysal · 16/05/2022 19:33

I love to drink and always have. I live in sunny Spain where the booze is very very cheap and available.
I have to actively watch my consumption and try to not drink for several weeks at a time. If I don't it can be a couple of bottles and a few gins. It does make me giddy but not total drunk. I'll be fine the next day and can do it again. So I try to be very aware and give myself weeks off.
I wish I could smoke the same way. I smoked for a long time , stopped over 30 years ago but wouldn't dare try even one.

RestingPandaFace · 16/05/2022 19:35

I think I do.

I can go weeks / months and not have a drink, but if I fancy one I’ll have it. I rarely finish a bottle of wine, to be honest it puts me off opening one knowing it will get thrown away. I have lots of bottles of gin, but rarely drink it.

i don’t think I’ve ever drunk to get drunk it’s if I fancy a beer / wine / gin cocktail I’ll have one.

MrOllivander · 16/05/2022 19:37

I don't drink at home 99% of the time
About once a year in summer I want a cold cider so go and buy one. I have alcohol on nights out which are few and far between!

To put it into context, I haven't had a drink for a year

InFiveMins · 16/05/2022 19:38

I love a drink. I won't drink during the week but will share a couple of bottles of wine over the weekend with DP.

AudTheDeepMinded · 16/05/2022 19:39

I like the odd drink (think 3-4 times a month). This is usually sharing a small bottle of cider with DH or having a pre-mixed tin of gin. Or perhaps opening a bottle of wine to have a glass with dinner (if my Mums is round for example). i rarely have more than one drink as I just get very sleepy. About twice a year i might go out out and have 3-4 drinks, but I usually want to get home to bed by about 11. The last time i got proper proper drunk was at a wedding in 2018, it was unintended but the drinks just flowed and it was a lovey event. i did not make an arse of myself but did have a hangover the following day. I did used to do silly things and drink too much in my youth but can really take it or leave it now. My father is an alcoholic and it has made me quite aware of drinking. I would not have touched a heavy drink for a life partner with a barge pole.

AntarcticTern · 16/05/2022 19:40

I rarely drink at home, but do occasionally have a glass of wine in the evening.

When DH and I go out for dinner or to a drinks party we'll have the "who's drinking / who's driving" conversation and I won't really mind either way. If it ends up me driving I'll have one drink, then soft drinks for the rest of the night and will still have a great time.

However, if DH is driving I'll sometimes let my hair down and get properly steaming drunk! This happens maybe once or twice a year.

starlingdarling · 16/05/2022 19:41

Up until this year I could enjoy a drink but rarely had one. I often did a dry-January by coincidence because I didn't have a drink rather than actively avoiding it. I'd have the odd few nights where id drink a few gins or a bottle of wine and then not have one again for several weeks or months. I occasionally worried about my DH's habit of grabbing a beer immediately after work. I'm a bit worried as in the past few months I've found myself wanting a drink on the way home from work. I've never had that feeling before. I've easily drunk more nights than not since last Christmas. I can't find a trigger for it but I'm increasingly worried that my healthy relationship with alcohol has gone.

MichaelAndEagle · 16/05/2022 19:42

RestingPandaFace · 16/05/2022 19:35

I think I do.

I can go weeks / months and not have a drink, but if I fancy one I’ll have it. I rarely finish a bottle of wine, to be honest it puts me off opening one knowing it will get thrown away. I have lots of bottles of gin, but rarely drink it.

i don’t think I’ve ever drunk to get drunk it’s if I fancy a beer / wine / gin cocktail I’ll have one.

I'm the same, except when I do go out with friends I do drink quite a few and will get drunk.
So not sure it is healthy really, even though that is maybe 4 or 5 times a year max.

Neverreturntoathread · 16/05/2022 19:43

I drink 1-2 times a month, usually a glass or two of wine with a meal. I’m not teetotal, but I am keen on a healthy body, and deliberately ingesting toxins hasn’t appealed to me much since I first started thinking about it when I got pregnant a decade ago.

Alcohol isn’t something that interests me now. When I do drink, it’s usually at a social occasion when people would remark on it if I didn’t, and it’s rare that I particularly like the taste. When I seen others in the pub with flushed sweaty faces talking too loud about something they don’t realise is deeply boring I do feel kinda sorry for them.

If you’re gonna have a vice, go for coffee or chocolate 😍

TwilightSkies · 16/05/2022 19:46

I can go months without drinking, I don’t miss it at all.
I like a freshly made cocktail every now and again when out to dinner.
I never drink at home. I don’t see the point. I feel relaxed at home so don’t need a drink to relax me.
I don’t particularly enjoy being around drunk people so I suppose I avoid a lot of situations where there will be a lot of drink involved.

bert3400 · 16/05/2022 19:49

I used to drink a lot, every night, I could easily drink a bottle of wine, a few glasses while cooking dinner then a few more glasses while watching TV. About 5 years ago I really got into fitness and realised the two didn't work well together ...so stopped drinking in the week ...I still like a drink at the weekend but only one night, I hate my weekends being wasted feeling fuzzy and not functioning properly. I'm also much happier being the designated driver....and let my husband drink if we go out, as he handles hangovers so much better than me. We have plenty of alchol in the house and we also live in Spain, so it's cheap and pretty much everywhere. I think I have a healthy relationship with Alchol now, not before but it was just a habit that I needed to break .

MassiveSalad22 · 16/05/2022 19:49

Just not really interested, take or leave it really. Hate being drunk (even though I could get paralytic and never get a hangover), hate the feeling. Just decided not to drink for the sake of it and it was no effort at all, super easy. Last had a drink on Friday, one G&T and enjoyed it but felt no need for it or for another afterwards. Hadn’t drunk for months before then.
Wish wish wish i could take the same approach for sugar! That’s my addiction.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 16/05/2022 19:56

i can take it or leave it
family members have put me off, some are still tee total so i would be drinking on my own
i buy a bottle of wine but just drink over the weekend

Macon · 16/05/2022 19:57

I would be the last person to tell anyone what a healthy relationship with alcohol looks like, OP, but if I can think of it in different terms, I'd think of chocolate or puddings or biscuits or something.

I have all of those in the house because my DC like them, and because I always like to be able to offer something to random visitors. Every now and then - though not often - I fancy a piece of chocolate, so I have a piece of chocolate (assuming the teenagers haven't consumed it all). But I don't ever spend any time thinking about chocolate or biscuits, because I'm completely indifferent to them. I don't loathe them, but I don't love them either. They're just not really on my radar.

I imagine that a healthy relationship with alcohol is similar to this.

BrieAndChilli · 16/05/2022 19:58

I can have a lot to drink on a night out!! But I probably have about 4-6 nights out a year.
at home we will have a glass or two of wine or a g&t once a week/fortnight. For example we had a glass of wine with tea tonight but the rest of the bottle is back in the fridge.

Neverendingdust · 16/05/2022 20:01

Growing up with a borderline alcoholic father whose mood would gradually change with every drink he had I can say it’s more or less put me off having any regular relations with alcohol. Yes I’ll have the odd dribble of gin in tonic water once a month and maybe a Baileys at Christmas with a champagne at NYE but that’s it really.

I’d never want to risk revealing who it could turn me in to if it went any further.

FinallyHere · 16/05/2022 20:02

EdithStourton · 16/05/2022 19:06

I've a glass of red in front of me now, poured by DH about an hour ago. I can go days without a drink and I don't miss it.

OTOH I do sometimes get drunk (maybe 2 or 3 times a year). When I choose to.

My relationship with sugar, however, is another story...

This ^

Snowraingain · 16/05/2022 20:03

Strong history of alcoholism in my family so I don’t drink.

carefullycourageous · 16/05/2022 20:06

I occasionally think 'I will have a drink' if I fancy something nice, I never need one and most of the time it just doesn't cross my mind. If alcohol was banned, it would not bother me at all in terms of drinking (would in terms of being draconian!).

I guess I drink about once a month, just one or two units.

rookiemere · 16/05/2022 20:10

I think I've got a pretty healthy relationship with alcohol .

I rarely drink at home unless we have friends over - maybe once a fortnight, although during lockdown I did end up having a glass of wine most nights. I do enjoy a glass of wine or two with a meal or some fizz when friends are over.

To be fair it's also my age sometimes even the tiniest amount of alcohol plays havoc with my sleeping patterns and I often wake up in the middle of the night feeling sick after one glass, therefore the enjoyment very rarely matches the downside.