Do you raise your eyebrows at people with 4 children?

[AnxietyForever]

Just above really? I always find 2 or 3 children are seen as the 'norm', what about 4 children?

If I'd started younger and had a bit more money we'd have had 3rd min
I

I have to agree with a few others..
I would like just 2 kids (One to replace each of us)
I do believe over population is an issue but that just a personal thing and not what I judge other people for for having more.
If you have the resources and money for kids then great or if you chose to adopt then even better.
However I have astrong opinion against those who have more kids to be entitled to better benefits. Or those that have more kids that they cannot afford and then say its their right. I am sick of seeing articles online of families saying ‘they are a family of 6 and the council wont give them a bigger house.’
Regardless of whether its your right or choice to have more children, there comes a point where you are fully aware of whether you can afford it or not And IMO if you cant afford to have a child without relying on any benefits then its not a decision you should be able to make.

I have always thought that you should be allowed 2 children and then have to be able to prove you are financially able to have another (fully aware I will be annihilated for this opinion 🤦🏻‍♀️)

People do judge, I have 4 and am
often judged for it, I seem to be judged more because I’m a single parent to 4... I have also been judged on MN because of it, people would think it was more acceptable partner, being a single parent to 4 seems to be what people judge in my case,

A couple who used to live down the road from me have 14 children! That stands out but lots of 3 & 4 children families around and the odd 5 or 5 children families.
What an exciting time. Congratulations. I think when you’re pregnant you wonder how the new baby will alter family dynamics but they always find their own unique slot when they arrive.
We have 3. I would have tried for a fourth if we had started a family earlier. I didn’t realise how much fun I would find it.

God yes, anyone with 4,5 or 6 children I wonder if they ever have any free time at all. I don't judge in a nasty way, but it wouldn't be for me. No way that I can do the baby stage again. Or the pregnancy for that matter. I'd love to have a large family but only if they are born at say age 4 or 5 .

I've 4 children ranging from 16 to 28 yrs, it's been amazing and I wouldn't change a thing. I really do feel blessed and I've never felt judged on any way.

No...but I have 6!

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I know three mums closely who have had 4+ and they are all the most amazing mums. They shower their children with love and they get so much attention. One has a couple of children with learning difficulties and she’s there for them both at every appointment and fighting their corners, whilst managing the others. Another got two of her boys to Cambridge and the other two to top universities. I have utter admiration for them all.

I have three and sometimes feel judged. It’s hard work a lot of the time but there’s so much love and laughter and playfulness between us all, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Massive congrats op!

I stopped at two but I hate the way people sneer at larger families. Just fuck right off. Children are not accessories, if you have 1 or 6 that's fine as long as they are loved and cared for.

We have 4, all adults now. I was mostly a SAHM with small part time jobs when my DH was able to provide childcare after work or cleaning jobs where i could take them with me. It was hard at times, but they were always well dressed and well fed. They didn't go without but I was at the bottom of the food chain for a few years and no we didnt claim any kind of benefits because there were none apart from child benefit. My DH worked all of the hours in a not greatly paid job and I budgeted really hard. We wouldn't have had it any other way and were always incredibly proud when out and about with them all. I am still incredibly proud of them and of us too for raising 4 such well-balanced, amazing people.

I come from a small family and would have loved to be part of a big, close family.
I love the thought of having four children, but having had two I've come to realise I struggle with parenthood quite a bit.

Wow, you'd hate me. Not 4 dad's, but 3 and I can confirm that the number of men I've got kids to does not affect how well I've raised my children. In fact I am proud of doing it singlehandedly. So judge away all you like.

I would love to have four. I have three but my youngest will be 9 this year and I feel like I've left it too long to go back to the baby stage now.
I am one of four, my parents didn't have a lot of money but I never felt that I wanted for anything, and I feel like growing up in my family would have been so boring if I had fewer siblings.

I can very much assure you that your are wrong.

I wouldn't no, but I have 5 and have lost 2 more, so 4 doesn't seem a big deal to me. I'd still have more if it happened, though I don't have the same 'I'm not finished' feeling that I had with the first 4.

Congratulations.

Don’t worry about what anybody else thinks. You don’t have to justify yourself, or your childrens’ existence, to anybody

No. I wouldn’t. There is so much judgement around these days. Why can’t people just mind there own business.

No! Where I live it’s pretty common to have 6+. My brood of 4 is seen as very normal.

I am the oldest of 4. I always wanted 4 but stopped at two. I know quite a few families with 4 children and I don’t judge them or think anything of it.

No, I think people who have 3, 4 or more are incredibly lucky. We had secondary infertility and I lost count of the miscarriages son we stuck at 2. But we had bought a huge house to fill with children. They just couldn't happen.

Yes.
The world is overpopulated. So why have 4 children?

Except it isn't really, because these children need school places and access to services, which are all stretched.
The UK is overpopulated.
4 children is taking the piss a bit in my opinion.

I say in my opinion.
I'll go fuck off now.

We had 7 over a long period of time. So some arrived in the 1980’s, some in the 90’s and then the 00’s.

I don’t think we were judged but people used to comment on the big age gap between first and last and then age gap between the last 90’s child and first 00’s child, which was 10 years. Lots of comments such as “don’t you have a TV” etc.

We both worked but I think what I hated the most (and still do) were the “all from the same father” comments! In fact I got so fed up with comments like that, I started answering back “no, from 9 different fathers”.

But no, I don’t think 4 is a big family at all. And I certainly wouldn’t raise my eyebrows in the horrible supercilious manner that some people do. It’s not my business how much people want to procreate or not.

Anything more than 2 and I think:
chav
rich
or not British

We’re not rich and are as English as it gets. I’m delighted to have honoured my working-class forebears with my feckless life choices

Congratulations, OP