Do you raise your eyebrows at people with 4 children?

[AnxietyForever]

Just above really? I always find 2 or 3 children are seen as the 'norm', what about 4 children?

I have a friend with six, three now teens/young adults and three in primary they are fantastic polite, kind, well mannered children. They are clearly well loved and cared for. My friend keeps a pristine house and runs her own business. I have no idea how she does it but she does. I'm do slightly raise an eyebrow at a neighbour who is currently expecting number eight - not because of the number of children but because she has a public sector job and has had way more time on maternity leave than actually working over the last 12 years. It does seem a little unfair to be paid from public funds to only work for an average of 6 months in every two years.

And I’d be envious (have two)

I think it depends on the person. I don't think some people could manage but some are more than capable of giving enough love and time. God only gives us what we can handle 🙏 🤗

Congratulations OP.

Your DCs will luuurve their new sibling.

Similar sentiment to @Yogity - I have 4 of my own. I am one of 7. Mother was one of 11 and Dad one of 10. I have 58 first cousins who have shared so much fun, laughter and support over the years. Some of my cousins and siblings are my very best and deepest friends (glad I had that choice!) and it’s an emotional intimacy I value more and more as I get older and having all of these characters in my childhood was warm and wonderful.

This!!!

I'd have loved 4 (had names and everything). Unfortunately life didn't work out like that for me. Honestly 4 kids to me seems the ideal number of kids to have!

I would be surprised (in an impressed sort of way) if I met a family with 5 kids, that seems "big" to me even though it's only one more than four. I would never judge for number of kids though. None of my business really, is it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!! Xx

All I have is admiration as I have absolutely no idea how anyone copes with any more than one child 😅😩

Glad to hear you are having a c-section, OP.

My immediate reaction to your question was how on Earth do people's pelvic floor survive four?!
(Ever the pragmatist)

5 kids. Would have had more but had last 2 at 42 and 43 naturally.

@AnotherPoster
"Personally, I find 2 children too middle of the road for who I am."

Yes children as lifestyle accessory. How 'out there' 😆🙄

I wouldn't think anything of someone with 4 kids. We have 4 kids, a fair few families around us have 4 or more. I work 3 short days a week, so I am home by the time they get in from school. My DH works from home in a flexible role, so although things are busy we spend loads of time together.

They have plenty of opportunities to pursue sports, music, socialise etc.
We are very close and their teachers are always telling me how happy they are. I feel very blessed to have them and honestly don't care what anyone else thinks about it. We are definitely done at 4 though.

Seriously how do people have the head space for more than one child at school? I get so many emails and wear a cat on head/ blue socks/ days to remember 🤯 But I have two DC and they are seriously hard work individuals. Velcro, demanding, wild,uhhhh. Respect to anyone with kids full stop.

I can only hope by the time DC2 is at school DC1 will be more self sufficient 😳

My parents used to be asked if we were Catholic 'Yep' or whether their tv was on the blink.... there is a 17 year age gap between myself (eldest) and youngest db.
The house I live in has one family with 10 and another with eight children on either side.

14, maybe. Not 4.
I have 3 and would love to adopt in the future.
I've always wanted 4 but I could never go through childbirth again. I've always wanted to give a child a loving home in our family, but maybe not for a few years.

I don't care personally how many you have I have 1 and will stick to 1 only time I had a issue is when ex work colleague went on mat leave and returned pregnant 4 times in a row and we had to cover the slack no money for coversheet didn't returned after having the 4th

@AnotherPoster Personally, I find 2 children too middle of the road for who I am.

Why? Who are you?

@gymNamaste "Wear a cat on head day"

LOL! Totally with you on the crazy number of school emails and bonkers days 😆

Not at all, I have 2, but really wished I had more now.

I'm one of four and it's a great number! I have 2 and I know I couldn't cope with anymore but I do feel so jealous when I think how amazing it would be to have more DC when they are adults if that's makes sense

I don't raise my eyebrows, no. I do wonder how people manage though.

Not 4, no. I did once because I was so impressed as I watched a woman, on her own, head count her 10 kids as she left the shop. This was at the time I was pushing my first newborn in a buggy feeling completely overwhelmed and flustered. I was amazed 😅

Only in dating I raise an eyebrow to 3+

THIS 😂😂😂

Will your 1-2-3-4-5,... children be loved and cared for?
Will they be given enough attention and opportunity to thrive in school as well as outside school?
Will they be able to experience different things that make life fun and help them to find out their likes and dislikes?
If the answer is "yes" I could not care less how many children you have.

However, I can't stand people who have a big family and expect older siblings looking after the younger ones.

I have four. We do sometimes get ‘ooh you’ve got your hands full’ etc but it always seems in good humour. I honestly didn’t think it was a crazy big family! And I don’t struggle too much with organising school events. I have a whiteboard calendar and a journal and I write everything down and review it on a Friday evening. So I can easily see anything coming up. I started because my son who is autistic found it really helpful to see what ‘next week’ looks like then it turned out I find it really helps too!

I think those suggesting they won’t have opportunities etc are overdoing it a bit - it’s not like there are 13 kids in the house! My two oldest have classes/hobbies that they’re very into that take up a lot of their time, plus my younger ones do swimming and have started to do activities. It is harder work than just having one, particularly on one day when two kids are in conflicting classes and we have to do the run round, or if two competitions or events overlap which is annoying. But then that could happen with 2 kids if they did different activities!