What do you wish you’d known, when planning your wedding?

[Honkytonk01]

Just that.

I’ve got 7 months to plan my wedding and I’m already getting lots of comments about how much we have to do in a short space of time! We are recently engaged. The venue is booked thankfully but have pretty much everything else to organise.

Whats the best piece of advice you would give to someone planning their wedding?

Unintentional wall of text. I'm so sorry. My Mumsnet app doesn't appear to honour my line breaks anymore.

Decide what the most important things are for you, and sack off everything else. For us it was: nice food and drink for everyone, a relaxed vibe, flowers (me), invitations (DH), easy to get to, all in one venue, photographer, dancing space (me), quiet space (DH). We got married nearly a year after I proposed, but did most of the planning within 6 months, the majority of it DIY. We didn't bother with favours or additional entertainment (except bringing loads of board games and asking our friend to bring their Switch) - just strip it right down to the things that will make you happy.

The day and evening thing absolute norm if the OP is in Scotland. I’ve had some really good nights out at an evening reception. Having day guests and evening guests is how it is in Scotland so don’t discount that if you are Scottish.

id say, take care of your guests. Lots of food and drink and entertainment or something to do if you are going to be off having photos done for 3 hours after your ceremony.

The small things don’t matter as others have said.

Choose different bridesmaids

My lasting thought is that a £1 wedding doesn’t make you any less married than someone who spends £100k on it.

I think if you’re happy with the venue and what you’re wearing, have good food, drink and music, not much else is that important.
(oh and that it’s a nice day for guests too - easy to get to/plenty of good value places for people to stay, enough chairs, good amount of food and the bar is not too expensive!)

I'm getting married over the jubilee weekend. I've been planning for 4 years (thanks covid) but I would say that the overwhelming majority has been in the last 6 months, so you can definitely do it.

First things first. Have the wedding YOU want (as long as budget allows). Don't listen to family, friends or mumsnet on how things "should" be done. You want a registry office with a couple of witnesses? Great. Crack on. You want 200 guests and to arrive in a horse and carriage, with magicians, singing waiters and an owl carrying the rings down the aisle? Sounds fab, go for it. The idea is that you do this once, so do it your way.

Purely practical things I've found during wedding planning are:

1. book the appointment for the notice of marriage NOW. There are long waiting times due to everyone rearranging their weddings and we very nearly missed the one month deadline because there were no appointments.

2. see if there's a Facebook group for weddings in your area. I managed to find a last minute photographer and make up artist on ours after our initial suppliers fell through. Also loads of people selling second hand decorations

3. fake flowers are miles cheaper

4. stuff will go wrong. It doesn't matter. This is our third attempt due to covid. Our photographer fell through twice. My make up artist disappeared off the face of the planet. We had to cancel the florist and get fake flowers done. The new florist forgot to make two bouquets. I'm a waistcoat short and can't find the same one anywhere. None of it matters because in less than 3 weeks I will be married to my best friend.

5. if you want a "proper" wedding dress, get it ordered now as they take months to arrive and then you need time for alterations. If you're not too fussed, get one off the peg.

I love the suggestion from a pp about handing over control the week before the wedding. I'm going to do that!

Take out wedding insurance just in case.

No-one will remember it apart from yourselves so be very selective on throwing a load of money at it.

Last wedding I went to the speeches were between the meal courses. It worked really well.

I'd actually say don't provide a free bar - people will behave a lot better if they don't get drunk because they're paying for their own drinks - it's enough to have a glass of bubbly and canapes during the photos and some wine and another glass of bubbly with the meal.

And don't invite people because your parents want you to. It's your wedding. I agree that 20 years on (25 in our case) it's family who are still there, a lot of the friends were transitory and are just FB contacts - although I do still keep in touch with quite a few of the friends who were there. And yes some will drop out at the last minute.

We had a cheap photographer - I think that's one area it's worth spending some money on. Our pictures were ok but not great (and some of the guests took better ones). I banned videos from my wedding although a couple of people still turned up with them. Difficult to do these days with phones, though.

AAAGH I didn't realise this was a zombie thread. Oh well, maybe someone else will find it helpful.

People who wake up zombie threads for adverts are SO ANNOYING!

Think about the guest list and how many people you will really know in 5 or 10 years time

Planning a wedding can feel overwhelming, but trust me, it's all about pacing yourself. When my partner and I were in your shoes, the best advice we received was to prioritize what mattered most to us. And speaking of venues, if you're still on the lookout, definitely check out www.winters-barns.co.uk. Their stunning location and attentive staff made our day truly unforgettable.