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Original poster

What do you wish you’d known, when planning your wedding?

115 replies

Honkytonk01 · 12/05/2022 22:36

Just that.

I’ve got 7 months to plan my wedding and I’m already getting lots of comments about how much we have to do in a short space of time! We are recently engaged. The venue is booked thankfully but have pretty much everything else to organise.

Whats the best piece of advice you would give to someone planning their wedding?

OP posts:
Threetulips · 12/05/2022 22:37

Depends what your expectations are.

MrsJaneyLloydFoxe · 12/05/2022 22:39

That the people who matter don’t mind and the people that mind don’t matter!
Cringe but true.

also, don’t waste money on favours and tiny details. No one remembers or notices. Have a free bar if you can manage.

LoudingVoice · 12/05/2022 22:42

That’s plenty of time if your venue is booked, I don’t understand people taking so long to plan a wedding tbh!

Have you found a dress yet? Get looking soonish because they might need to order it, although tbh I ended up getting one from the high street because I didn’t find anything I liked in bridal shops and they started to irritate me!

Don’t get caught up in the minute stuff, make sure guests have enough to eat & drink, do what you want not what anyone else expects.

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Weddings
Justmuddlingalong · 12/05/2022 22:42

As long as your DH /DW is right, everything else is just frippery.

Arenanewbie · 12/05/2022 22:43

We were young and child free so didn’t realise what a headache childcare might be. Now I know….

Don’t presume that relatives from different sides will mix - you need to give them a little push.

Usernameismyname01 · 12/05/2022 22:51

If having kids at the day time - give them an age appropriate play pack to do so don't get bored (colouring/little table top game etc) even arrange for a chicles entertainer to come and take the kids to another area whilst the speeches are taking place so the don't get bored

If you can get a videographer, get one as years later you will want to reminisce and pictures just don't cut it. Get them there all day and night if budget allows

Make sure you get pictures with close family. My one regret is that I never got one with just me and my mum. Make a list of who you definitely want pictures of.

Don't get caught up with who should be on the top table etc. if best man wants to sit with his partner, let him. If you just want your bridesmaids/ushers etc on your table, do so and have parents host their own relatives/friends table

Member278307 · 12/05/2022 22:54

Don't bother

WaterBottle123 · 12/05/2022 22:55

What @Justmuddlingalong said.

I try not to comment on these threads because I had an emergency wedding in ICU as late DH had days to live, so any kind of wedding with a non-terminal DH seems like a fairy tale to me.

Your wedding doesn't matter at all, only your choice of partner. Have fun and be happy.

Yellowshirt · 12/05/2022 22:56

Don't bother

MarmiteCoriander · 12/05/2022 23:06

I arranged a wedding in 6mths, on the other side of the world- so it can all be done!

For me anyways, my tips are:


  • don't bother with pew ends (ribbons/flowers etc) were a waste of money. I didn't spend alot, but I don't have pics of them on the wall and other than me, no one would have noticed them

  • Don't bother with chair covers. When you look at empty venues, you will see a sea of white chair covers and tables all ready made which look lovely. On the night, coats, handbags and shawls are draped over the back of chairs, so you wouldn't know there were covers on at all. If you are paying extra for chairs covers, don't bother, unless the chairs are really awful and I mean REALLY awful to start with.

  • Send out invites as soon as you can

  • Have the RSVP date at least a month before the wedding (or ideally more) and have a list of others you would invite instead

  • If you are decorating the tables/venues yourself, don't underestimate finding things on ebay bulk buys, charity shops, market place- vases, candle holders and table mirrors etc.

broccolibush · 12/05/2022 23:13

Wedding planning, like packing, occupies the space you give it. We arranged a wedding in 3 days - then waited 7 weeks for it to come around. The longer you have the more flotsam and jetsam occupy you.

Ultimately none of it matters. The marriage is what counts. So if you want to do something that is “not done” according to whoever JFDI. Its just a fancy party. Focus on the marriage part. And have some fun around it - screw what anyone else thinks you should have.

WombatNo12 · 12/05/2022 23:14

Weddings seem to bring out the batshittery in previously sane relations/friends. Try to ignore the weird expectations that then surface.

The marriage is more important than the wedding. But do celebrate as the day goes quickly & it's lovely to have people together.

MrsMingech · 12/05/2022 23:16

You can't decide what time you're getting married and where the reception is.

Apparently you need to decide, what time people need to be at the reception, what time they are eating, what time the cake is being cut etc etc etc

Fuck me that came as a shock. We all just turned up and things worked them out for themselves.

I was absolutely shit at the whole wedding stuff.

MrsMingech · 12/05/2022 23:16

Edit
you can't just decide what time and where

Peckhampalace · 12/05/2022 23:17

Choose three or four things to care about and do/ arrange them yourself. Delegate/pay for/let people help you with the rest.
E.g I agreed colours and total cost with florist and specified I wanted more cheap flowers rather than few expensive and how many arrangements then left her to it.
A friend offered to decorate the cake so I sent over a couple of pics of what I liked and colours but let them do what they wanted.
I had three months and we didn't spend a fortune. I don't actually remember loads of it now, except everyone we cared about was there, and everyone including us seemed to enjoy it.

Peckhampalace · 12/05/2022 23:23

One more...only do the things you want to, don't do anything because you "should", or its fashion, or everyone else does

We didn't do hen/stag, no best man and didn't have an evening do.

AMegaPint · 12/05/2022 23:24

People will remember good food, good wine and good music.

Don't split couples up in the seating plan.

Don't waste money on favours. I spent far too much on little bits of quirky vintage tat for the tables. I wish I had spent it on filing the place with flowers instead!

Look for Preloved wedding dresses, sample sales or highstreet . I saved £3k buying a sample Jenny Packham from a closing down bridal shop.

Make sure someone records the speeches. I'd recommend a videographer too actually. I'll echo a PP about photos with special people. Mums, Dads, grandparents etc.

You don't have to have a top table!

And hardly anyone will eat the cake.

Hercisback · 12/05/2022 23:25

Keep people fed and watered with somewhere to sit.

Sack off all the fripperies.

Triceratopsrock · 12/05/2022 23:25

How much I would enjoy it! Best party I’ve ever been to.
in all the chaos of planning, I hadn’t actually considered how much fun the day would be!

MarmiteCoriander · 12/05/2022 23:29

I forgot: we had a fairly new photographer and due to sudden rain and change of plans, ended up with absolutely NO family portraits. And no, I didn't want pics with every cousin this and that, distant friends etc etc. I would have just liked a photo showing DH and me with immediate family. At the time, I kept thinking those pics might be taken later, so ended up with SO many useless pics of us with the wedding party, and absolutely none with family Sad

Make is clear to the photographer who you want in pics and write a list if necessary. I 'thought' I'd made it clear, but obviously not and bitterly regret it to this day.

HeddaGarbled · 12/05/2022 23:37

That in 20 years’ time you won’t even remember where the wedding photo album is, and that of the guests, it will be mostly family, not friends, who are still part of your life.

Dinoteeth · 12/05/2022 23:48

Weddings seem to bring out the batshittery in previously sane relations/friends. Try to ignore the weird expectations that then surface.

Never has a truer word been spoken. So much nonsense "oh we were at Bob's sons wedding, you better invite Bob" I haven't seen Bob before or since.

Sort your guest list out and tell parents when it's a done deal.

Have a really special day out shopping with your mum. I regret inviting MIL dress shopping it seemed a nice idea but hindsight I wouldn't do it again

StylishDuck · 12/05/2022 23:53

If you're planning to wear heels take a pair of comfy shoes to change into later on. This is the one thing I regret not doing at my wedding.

OrlandointheWilderness · 13/05/2022 00:02

That the important thing is the marriage not the wedding. Nothing else matters on that day but the person you are marrying. Literally nothing, and all the people who really care would care at a ten minute ceremony at a registry office.
I got married at 20 with 250 guests I barely knew. I knew it was the wrong thing and downed a bottle of wine first.

Cafetropical · 13/05/2022 00:12

Some people will drop out last minute or just won't turn up. So don't stress too much about invites, guest lists, seating plans.
The best thing we did was a last minute decision to put money behind the bar. No one noticed we didn't have any favours, but lots of our guests appreciated the free bar!

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