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Original poster

Text from handyman. How should I reply

119 replies

Horological · 08/05/2022 21:57

A handyman came to fix something in the house yesterday. He was friendly but not overly so. We didn't chat that much, I thought it was quite a business like exchange. Shortly afterwards he messaged this:

*I am looking for a mentor. Like a life/career/success mentor.

You see, I come from a very adverse background and so want to learn as much as I can from successful people.

I have no idea whether or not you are successful, but from what I saw, your amazing property etc, you seem very happy, content and to me, seem successful.

I realise it’s a bit forward and open of me, but you know, life is short and I believe that if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

Just looking for someone to sit with me over a coffee every now and again and discuss how things are going.

No worries if not.*

I'm not sure what to reply. He seemed to be quite successful. He's a construction project manager who does extra handyman stuff on the side. I am fairly sure he does quite well in his job, perhaps better than me. I can't imagine he really does need a mentor. I guess he's about 20 years older than me.

Not sure how to respond.

Thanks anyway and have a great afternoon

OP posts:
Mamanyt · 09/05/2022 01:56

Polite dismissal and THEN block. Cover all those bases.

luckyrabbits · 09/05/2022 01:57

One of our friends once sent something like this, think it was a template given on a life coaching course. Certainly rings a bell.

Have you searched for the text on Google

Eastlyne · 09/05/2022 01:58

Weeeeeiiiiiird.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 09/05/2022 02:02

I'd just say it's really not my thing

cubangal · 09/05/2022 02:15

Block him

Pter · 09/05/2022 02:54

I would block him, I've had mentors before, choosing someone on the basis of a big house that you've barely spoken to and with a sketchy text is 🚩

Lightning020 · 09/05/2022 03:59

These cubs really luv us cougars don't they. Personally I do not feel the same way back whatsoever lol. I am done with relationships anyway. Single is bliss.

Beachsidesunset · 09/05/2022 04:48

He sounds lonely.

Lightning020 · 09/05/2022 05:29

Most men cannot enjoy a single life whereas most women slowly can. Indeed many women come to prefer staying single once they have got the hang of it. Myself included.

Billandben444 · 09/05/2022 05:54

I thought I'd got really lucky
As did he!
Politely refuse, don't block him and only use him again when hubby's around.

Luculentus · 09/05/2022 06:46

I don't see why people go straight to the "Block him" response. There is nothing wrong with a polite reply along the lines suggested by @dreamersdown

mintybobs · 09/05/2022 06:54

I'm going against the grain here and I dont find this creepy. When I started in business, I got told by multiple people to "find a mentor" and I had no idea where to look for one. Mentoring is a big part of starting off on your own. Sure, he may have done it a tad clumsily but if you dont try then you dont get.

Obviously, if you dont feel comfortable then decline, but I dont think the action of trying to find a mentor is of itself creepy or weird as this is actually one of the first things people suggest to you on platforms like linkedin etc.. Mentoring on Linkedin is huge.

Ikeptgoing · 09/05/2022 06:55

That is so weird
You didn't chat and discuss anything like that so why would he think you'd have time or be interested in "mentoring him"? Also is your business anything like his?

Mentors are a work thing, or are paid or private. He's asking you to do a job role for free. Bit cheeky and really do you have time? It also seems a stretch to ask random stranger just bc he likes your house- sounds like something else is going on (regardless of his being older, I bet he fancies you or likes your house too much!!)

I'd ignore the text and not reply, but also be thinking CF..
as out of the blue this would have made me feel uncomfortable

Storystreamer · 09/05/2022 06:57

At best, he’s crossed a professional boundary, at worst, it sounds like he is casing your home for any valuables. Might be a good idea to decline, politely, and then block him.

Ikeptgoing · 09/05/2022 07:00

I mentor people at work

It's quite a time commitment, a lot of work and took a year of training to be a mentor.

No way would I do this for a random person who I have no connection with, in my own time and my own house (!!), and isn't even in same business or field as me!!

Reallyreallyborednow · 09/05/2022 07:02

My reply would be along the lines of think you’ve been hacked mate, you’ve just sent me a whole load of spam. You may want to check how many people it’s been sent to!

FrippEnos · 09/05/2022 07:09

Sounds to me like a scam text message.

Either way don't respond just ignore.

collieresponder88 · 09/05/2022 07:09

I think it's a really long drawn out way of saying he wants a shag and he wants to bag an older wealthier woman I wouldn't even bother replying he probably does it all the time just hopes he will get a bite one day !

JammyThing · 09/05/2022 07:10

Ricecakes889 · 08/05/2022 22:29

I think if you are in your 60s you may be mistaken he fancies you or something, not meaning to hurt your feelings. It’s more likely he is genuine and may see you more as someone to look up to.

This is so rude!

Calphurnia88 · 09/05/2022 07:12

Storystreamer · 09/05/2022 06:57

At best, he’s crossed a professional boundary, at worst, it sounds like he is casing your home for any valuables. Might be a good idea to decline, politely, and then block him.

This... I don't think this is a come on, sorry.

I would just reply and say something along the lines of 'I'm really flattered but I don't have time for that. Thank you though.' I wouldn't block him unless he gives you reason to e.g. won't accept no for an answer. Seems a tad OTT otherwise.

LoveSpringDaffs · 09/05/2022 07:19

Horological · 08/05/2022 23:16

@Maurepas yes the most annoying thing about it is that I will have to find another handyman. He replied to my initial enquiry, came when he said he would and did the job well at a reasonable price. I thought I'd got really lucky until he sent the odd text!

I'd use him again in that case, I'd just arrange it for a day DH was at home instead!! 🤣

knittingaddict · 09/05/2022 07:25

MooFroo · 08/05/2022 22:15

i think it’s a real compliment!

offer a phone call to talk through what areas he needs help with

If you have the time to do a phone call and can help him, why not? It’s great karma..

I really hope that's sarcasm because if its not your ability to spot a wrongun is bust.

knittingaddict · 09/05/2022 07:38

Have I got this right? Some people on here are saying that it's a thing now for tradesmen to go around, spot a successful customer and request that they mentor them? Surely not?

That is incredibly unprofessional if true. Not sure that is it true though.

VintageGibbon · 09/05/2022 07:44

I don't think it's dodgy in the sense he's after something else. I'd take it at face value that he is massively into self help. All that Tony Robbins/LoA ask the universe for what you want stuff - that language comes through in his message.

I'd send a brief message back saying - thanks for the compliments about our home but I'm not a mentor and honestly, my lifestyle is down to luck.

Justkidding55 · 09/05/2022 07:44

Send him some details of life coaches in your area and leave it at that