Text from handyman. How should I reply

[Horological]

A handyman came to fix something in the house yesterday. He was friendly but not overly so. We didn't chat that much, I thought it was quite a business like exchange. Shortly afterwards he messaged this:

*I am looking for a mentor. Like a life/career/success mentor.

You see, I come from a very adverse background and so want to learn as much as I can from successful people.

I have no idea whether or not you are successful, but from what I saw, your amazing property etc, you seem very happy, content and to me, seem successful.

I realise it’s a bit forward and open of me, but you know, life is short and I believe that if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

Just looking for someone to sit with me over a coffee every now and again and discuss how things are going.

No worries if not.*

I'm not sure what to reply. He seemed to be quite successful. He's a construction project manager who does extra handyman stuff on the side. I am fairly sure he does quite well in his job, perhaps better than me. I can't imagine he really does need a mentor. I guess he's about 20 years older than me.

Not sure how to respond.

Thanks anyway and have a great afternoon

I have nothing at all to brag about (humbly or not). I am a very averagely attractive late middle aged/nearly elderly woman with an average job and a very slightly larger than average sized house in a very down at heel area.

I guess this man texts every woman he does work for on the off chance he may get lucky. I think perhaps he assumed I lived alone (DH is away atm).

I should say that I think he hopes to get lucky with a woman he can take advantage of financially just because I live in a biggish house.

Odd, I wouldn't reply

How come you were 57 in January?

It does sound very "cut and paste" type message to me. I reckon he's either a scammer or will try to sell you some dodgy pyramid scheme malarkey. Just politely refuse.

@dworky I was 59 in January.

I change small details in most of my posts. Most sensible people do. It's much odder that you advance searched me.

Just looking for someone to sit with me over a coffee every now and again and discuss how things are going.

I recommend they go to a professional counselling service.

You've obviously been polite and kind, and they've interpreted that as something it's not. If the person is from an adverse background they need to work on themselves to recognise appropriate professional boundaries and respect other peoples personal ones.

Just out of interest, do you have kids? He may be looking to inherit.

@shrunkenhead I agree with what you (and others) have said that it looks like a copy and paste type of text. I guess he just tries it with lots of women who he could potentially scam. I'll ignore.

@Fraaahnces I have kids, though they are away at uni. He was fixing something in one of their rooms and it would have been obvious it was a kid's room.

Hi X, thanks for thinking of me but I don't think I'd be a suitable mentor for you. Thanks for fixing the X, much appreciated. All the best,

Then don't respond to any further messages and obviously don't use him again.

Something about all of this makes me think he’s an ex-con.

You could say "I wouldn't be a good mentor for you, but if you like I'll ask my husband if he would help you?".

@Ricecakes889 I take it you're about 32?

Maybe it was a wrong text? I would just ignore it.

I wouldn't reply and I wouldn't engage him again.

Hi X. Thanks for your kind text. I’m really sorry, but mentoring isn’t something that I feel able to become involved in. I hope that you find someone suitable in the near future. Best wishes, Horological

@watcherintherye that is a great response. That's what I'll do.

Not what I would want from a handyman (your description). I would just be annoyed I now had to find another, different person for any subsequent job required to house! How could you mentor a handyman anyway? Would one go off on a tangent and perhaps advise him to become an artist and tour the Mayfair galleries with his work or some such!?

Hope it has the desired effect!

@Maurepas yes the most annoying thing about it is that I will have to find another handyman. He replied to my initial enquiry, came when he said he would and did the job well at a reasonable price. I thought I'd got really lucky until he sent the odd text!

I’m pretty willing to bet he doesn’t fancy you, and is actually, genuinely is looking for a mentor.

@FogLight

greatly enjoyed the coincidence of the message after yours being such a great example of this that I almost can’t believe it’s true

It's a clumsy text though could be genuine. Either way, you don't want to be his mentor so just say no. watcherintherye's message should do it.
Let us know how he responds.

You don’t have to find a different handyman. If he did good work, hire him again.

finding a mentor is something people are advised to do if they feel adrift in navigating building a successful career or if they are having trouble working in a social area outside of their comfort zone. He may have simply seen someone could help him advise him on the social nuances in a world he doesn’t quite feel comfortable in. He may also think you might be able to connect him with future clients which is really the only likely sketchy part of this. If you aren’t comfortable taking on the role, just write him a polite message and wish him luck on finding a good match.