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Original poster

What would be your opinion of neighbour after this?

110 replies

Ihatemyroad · 08/05/2022 18:27

Moved into house a couple of years ago. Regularly chat in passing with couple next door. Similar age late 30’s/early 40”s. We often take in parcels for them, have jump started one of their cars a few times, general nice neighbour type things.

We have a few items we need to take to the dump which isn’t far away, think old light highchair, toy pram, plastic kitchen bin. Our neighbour has a van. Yesterday I asked neighbour when he was going to the dump again and if I give him £10 would he take a few things for me? He would basically be going to the dump anyway, doing me a huge favour, and being given £10 to take a few light items. He said no. And then said “I’m off to the dump now”. And put a few things in his van and went.

I don’t know what to think. I’m really taken aback at him saying no and then telling me he was off to the dump that day anyway with a half empty van. So basically he just didn’t want to help me. I feel like saying ‘fuck you’ the next time they want a parcel taken in or their car jump started.

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 08/05/2022 20:04

He has a permit.

Does that not mean that he is a licensed waste carrier?

What would the commercial rate have been for disposing of the things you wanted to get rid of? Are they even the kind of waste covered in the licence ? I don't think it is right or reasonable to offer someone a tip like £10 instead of asking him what it would cost you.

His rate might have been much too expensive for you, in which case you were asking him to undercut his usual rates.

Or he might have said, I'm going anyway and don't mind taking your stuff. This is the sort of thing I'd be wary of doing as it might set an expectation that he would continue to do this for free or very cheap for you. You have already demonstrated that you want this on the cheap.

I find asking people what it would cost for them to do it is a much better way forward.

Lolllllllllllll · 08/05/2022 20:14

He was rude with his reply but I can see that maybe it's been annoying for him if various neighbours have asked favours. If you know of several neighbours that have done it then I expect there are more.
I think the suggestions to stop taking there parcels in and lending him jump leads are petty and shortsighted. I'd carry on as normal. Why would you want to fall out with your neighbours just because of one incidence of him being short with you.

DownTownAbbey2 · 08/05/2022 20:18

I think the OP was the cheeky one.

Hawkins001 · 08/05/2022 20:26

It's certainly an odden op

newnamethanks · 08/05/2022 20:27

Some people are simply twats. He's one. No more favours for them.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 08/05/2022 20:39

PortalooSunset · 08/05/2022 19:23

Is it rude to say no then?! But its not rude to ask?

Show quote history

It's not rude to ask, especially as OP offered money just as it's not rude to say no, sorry I can't. It is rude to make a point that you are going to the tip immediately and sort of rub OP's nose I it. A simple 'I can't sorry as it invalidates my licence' and OP would have probably said sorry and not asked again.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 08/05/2022 20:42

Did he mean he didn’t want to wait for you to get your stuff together?

Kassalah · 08/05/2022 20:47

Could he have misheard you? Has he got hearing problems?

johnd2 · 08/05/2022 20:48

Some people just don't like to help people, that is within their rights, sounds like to have got that far without realising, they can't be too bad on a daily basis.
I would remind yourself that it's his problem not yours, and carry on behaving as you would like to behave, as is your right.
So take on their parcels or not, it's up to you, but if you feel annoyed or whatever, then that's on you.
For what it's worth I'd be annoyed, but some people just are like that.
Take care.

User48751490 · 08/05/2022 20:49

Ihatemyroad · 08/05/2022 18:57

I think perhaps he’s just an arsehole and I’ve never noticed because I’ve never asked them for anything before.

That's a bit like starting sending Christmas cards to your neighbours every year. Best not starting it as you have to keep continuing it. Perhaps he felt if he took your rubbish this time then you would keep asking him in the future and he didn't want to start something.

grenlei · 08/05/2022 20:57

Williamshatnershorses · 08/05/2022 19:04

Whatever happened to “no is a complete sentence? “. You asked him, he said no. He’s allowed to do that.

^^
Exactly this.

The thing about having a van or tools is everyone wants a favour. Hence he probably has a blanket policy on saying no. He might make an exception for say an elderly person who doesn't drive but as you are perfectly able to go to the tip yourself, and it's only a few items, I'm surprised you'd even ask.

Re tools, my ex is an electrician. When he was young he often lent stuff to people. It got lost or broken or never came back. A few times of that he's never lent out a thing since.

CambsAlways · 08/05/2022 21:05

Well I wouldn’t be helping him out with anything

Mellowyellow222 · 08/05/2022 21:16

My friend is an electrician. He gets taken advantage of something shocking by neighbours. Always borrowing tools and asking him to for lights etc for free. They don’t seem to understand it’s his livelihood.

His wife always tells him to just say no. Maybe that’s it - maybe he doesn’t want to lend his work tools to neighbours or do dump runs. He could have been more polite about it - but it’s okay to have a red line.

RollOnWinter · 08/05/2022 21:17

The miserable bastard. I wouldn't do him any favours again.

Popsicle33 · 08/05/2022 21:20

Judging by what your neighbours have already said, he clearly see sounds like a cunt. Get your own jump leads and ask another neighbour. And fuck the parcels!

AStar98 · 08/05/2022 21:22

Rude or not, are you overthinking this?
You asked him a question, he had 2 options. He chose the answer that didn't suit you.
His comment following is odd, maybe you've done something to annoying him? 😬

starfishmummy · 08/05/2022 22:07

Stressybetty · 08/05/2022 20:01

Sounds to me that he has a rule of never lending tools and using his van and permit to dump people's rubbish. Like others have said he's probably been taken advantage of in the past by friends and family and has put his foot down. I wouldn't fall out with him at all, he probably felt very awkward refusing.

I can understand not wanting to lend work tools out. My Dad used to lend tools to neighbours and then would have to chase them to get them back and has had things returned broken.

BonnesVacances · 08/05/2022 22:51

That's fine OP. It's a hassle to take in their parcels so, as you've said, you'll just have to stop doing that now.

Scabbyknackers · 08/05/2022 23:03

If he's normally pleasant then try not to take it personally. It's probably a blanket rule as he doesn't want to get into lending out tools he needs for his work and using his van to dump other people's stuff. It might be so as not to set a precedent, or it might be that there's more to it such as if your old stuff was turned away and it's now his problem (I have no idea how these things work!). Sounds a bit odd how he then said he was going to the dump with glee but maybe if he's had the mick taken in the past with it he had that in mind?

catandcoffee · 08/05/2022 23:04

HMG107 · 08/05/2022 18:58

He could be going through something that is effecting his MH and making him act out of character?

🙄of course he is

coffeecupsandfairylights · 08/05/2022 23:12

DH is a tradesmen and people are forever asking him for a favour just because he has a van. They all want to borrow his stuff too, yet they never seem capable of returning it on time or in a decent condition Hmm

If he has a trade license he'll only be able to get rid of certain things while using his van - so he probably won't be allowed to get rid of your household rubbish at the same time as his business related waste.

Our tip is really strict on stuff like that and tradesmen can only get rid of their trade stuff in their vans - if they want to get rid of household waste they have to come back in their private vehicles.

So I don't think he was rude - probably fed up of people taking advantage because he has a van, and probably felt a bit awkward being put in that situation to begin with.

It was a bit cheeky to just assume he'd be happy to go to dump for you for a tenner tbh.

latetothefisting · 08/05/2022 23:29

Wow people will tie them up in knots on here to argue the most ridiculous excuses rather than just admitting neighbour is a twat.
Even if you can excuse him not being able to take ops stuff to the tip (doubtful as every one I've been to its per trip not per weight and they actively encourage you to do multiple drop offs of different items to.encourge recycling) AND if a tenner wasn't enough (and he ignored the cost of calling out the aa and driving to the depot to pick up his.parcels if op hadn't helped out) AND if he didn't want to help a neighbour out at miminum inconvenience to himself AND if he didn't feel any obligation to return a favour to someone who had helped him....even with all that how can you justify saying no (rudely) and then telling op he was off to the tip that minute? There was literally no need to tell her where he was going other than an extra "fuck you".

I would cease all favours op.

NotMushroomInEre · 08/05/2022 23:34

I think you are being extremely reasonable by refusing another parcel or not jump starting their car ever again. I wouldn't even want to speak to them again. There would be no more favours from me in the future. A simple hello to keep things civil only.

My partner has a transit, if you were our neighbour and asked him for the same favour, the tenner would've still been in your purse with job done.

Some people are just selfish though.

DemBonesDemBones · 08/05/2022 23:36

Do you think he didn't hear what you said? Maybe he just answered with what he thought was the right answer?!

WinterDeWinter · 08/05/2022 23:55

If he's refused to lend other neighbours a screwdriver then he definitely is just a prick. Go and asks for your jump leads back all
Smiley like and then next time he asks for a jumps start say ' no, sorry. Must go, got to do electrolysis on my chin. '