Am I overreacting to this faintly misogynistic comment by friend's new husband?

[OperationMincemeat]

Should be in AIBU but too scared of that section! So putting it here.

I have a very close friend I have known since uni, part of a larger group of friends. Let's call her A. A has recently got married at 49 to a man I don't know well ( first marriage, child free). Let's call him B. At a recent lunch out with A, when discussing B's introversion and reluctance to socialise with the rest of us, she said " B doesn't like discussing mundane matters like what's cooking for lunch or childcare arrangements. He only likes to talk about important stuff and he will only stay at any social occasion for 90 minutes. He is very secure in his own company."

This rubbed me the wrong way. Most of our group are in our late 40s and early 50s, so looking after teens, the elderly and so on. So no doubt our convos tend to the mundane at times. B, like most men, doesn't do any care giving and therefore doesn't need to bother his pretty little head about what to cook for dinner. I wanted to point this out but as she is so recently married, I shut up.

Is this misogynistic? Course B wasn't there.

Describing her new husband as 'secure in his own company' makes me think she is performing the role of Mummy/therapist.

She's really trying to tell you that after 90 minutes he will rudely leave and he isn't able to even fake interest in any one other than himself.

This.

I think it's quite sad that he doesn't seem to want to be friends with his wife's group (who I imagine she cares about a great deal. Of course most conversations start off light, you don't go up to a virtual stranger and start talking about something deep and meaningful.
I think your friend was wrong to tell you this. It's the first thing you will think next time you see him.
They call it the art of conversation for a reason.

could be he doesn't want to hang out with a bunch of ex uni mates

Then he would have said that. As in the example above "My dh feels like a bit of a spare part, he'd rather stay home and watch tele" that's a reasoned considerate response and causes no offence.

There's also nothing wrong with being an introvert who doesn't enjoy socialising.

To justify your reasons for not wanting to socialise as being uninterested in mundane, non important matters is insulting and smacks of man deluding himself that his intelligence is the reason for his lack of social skills.

Insecurity combined with a huge ego is deeply unattractive.

Even if you do think you're above the small talk in a particular social circle, voicing that is emotionally immature and self absorbed.

It sounds like he only likes blowing his own trumpet and his wife enjoys blowing his trumpet too .

Very well put SmileyClare

I think there is a reason he’s only just married
Exactly what I’m thinking. It’s not faintly misogynistic, it’s supremely arrogant. His attitude inhibits conversation. A will end up being isolated from the group because he makes her feel uncomfortable. It’s a form of control.

Just enjoy your friend’s company without him! Job done. They don’t have to socialise as a pair. Maybe he is better one on one.

How many women would find it enjoyable to hang out with their husband and his friends while they talked about video games or cars.

A lot of women would find that to be waste of their time and not conversations they find stimulating.

I’m not sure misogynistic means what you think it means, becayse no it’s not plus she said it not him. Plus I quite agree with him if that’s what you all talk about constantly.