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Original poster

How many children in until you knew you were "complete"?

117 replies

anywhichwaytoo · 06/05/2022 13:18

I have 2 happy and beautiful and healthy DC.

But I don't feel "done" or "complete".

Did you have a strong feeling of feeling 100% content when your youngest, or only, child was born?

I wonder if there's something wrong with me?! Will I always yearn for more DC even if I go on to have another one? I've always pictured myself with 3 DC...

OP posts:
stairgates · 06/05/2022 13:20

You may never feel done no matter how many you have, so pick a number which will work for you and get long lasting contraception if you luckily reach the number🙂

FunnysInLaJardin · 06/05/2022 13:21

yes, done at 2! No desire at all to have any more children!

Ducksurprise · 06/05/2022 13:23

Four, on the fourth I just felt complete, however fate had other ideas.

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mamalovebird · 06/05/2022 13:26

I always wanted 3 but settled at 2 after weighing everything up at the time (age/job/support network etc). Took a few years to come to terms with it but looking back and seeing how we operate as a family now, I still know we made the right decision for us.

breadedchicken · 06/05/2022 13:29

I have two healthy children, one of each, so feel really lucky with my lot in life. Two feels plenty and i have loads of time for both of them. Plus DH is Australian so we go over and back a good bit and two is just much easier to manage with respect to travel (and everything else).

ElDormato · 06/05/2022 13:29

I think I'm content now at 3, and wouldn't mind if we had no more (and we won't try for more), but if somehow I ended up accidentally pregnant, I would be far from heartbroken. So I'd say I'm done, and don't feel the same yearning for more like I always have before, but honestly I love being pregnant and having children, so until I feel too old, I probably would always be happy with another! Terribly impractical though. Hence stopping now.

Greenbay457 · 06/05/2022 13:30

Hmm I’ve just had number 3 thinking I’d feel done, but I don’t really. She will be our last though as I’ve had difficult pregnancies and we couldn’t afford another. I love my 3 dc more than anything, they’re perfect,l and completely fulfill me, but for some reason I just have an urge to have another. My head however knows it wouldn’t be a good idea!

CiderWithLizzie · 06/05/2022 13:31

2

GroggyLegs · 06/05/2022 13:32

DH and I are both only children. Our family feels noisy & massive already 😂

Staynow · 06/05/2022 13:33

One and done.

OUB1974 · 06/05/2022 13:33

Stopping at 2 was a head decision for us, rather than a heart. Mainly due to money and practical reasons, but also because of infertility, by the time we'd had 2 I was 40. Always wonder "what if" but I'm happy with my lovely family. Feeling "done" is something that has happened gradually, due to the realisation that we won't be having any more.

Louise0701 · 06/05/2022 13:34

I have 3 and I’m still waiting for this feeling of being done!

MargaretThursday · 06/05/2022 13:35

I wanted four when we talked about it before we had any. Dh said not more than 3 because that's what fits in a normal car. 🤣 I thought I'd talk him round when the time came.

Well I didn't feel complete after one or even two. Never even had any doubts that we would try for another.
After three... the urge mostly went away. I had a couple of moments, but they were more nostalgic for things that were finishing rather than really wanting another baby.
I kind of assumed that I did want another baby for ages, but wasn't thinking too much about it until I had a blip one month when my period was late and I suddenly thought I might be pregnant-and I was really upset.
Then I realised that actually I was happy with three, which I hadn't thought I would be.

DappledShade · 06/05/2022 13:36

1

KohlaParasaurus · 06/05/2022 13:39

I enjoyed having children and was never convinced I was finished until I was in my early fifties and the menopause had me down to two or three periods a year. I'd thought I might struggle to accept the end of my fertility, but I was like, "Small children are wonderful, but thank goodness DH and I won't have to go through the teenage years ever again."

SoulToSqueeze · 06/05/2022 13:40
  1. I know in my heart I am done. DH definitely wants more but I don't. According to his entire family I HAVE TO have more kids 🙄 ummm no!
PlasticsFantastic · 06/05/2022 13:41

I didn’t feel “complete” or done after one, or two, or three, or four.

I’m stopping there as that is what is best for my 4 children, and the planet and my DH. I would not use that feeling as a decision to have more children as it may not go away with any number.

comehithershallot · 06/05/2022 13:41

One and done

InkyPinkyParlez · 06/05/2022 13:44

Didn't go there! We have hormones driving us to have more babies. It's just a physiological thing to keep the species going. Hormones don't care how happy I am, or how much it affects my finances, other children, mental health, physical health etc etc. They shouldn't be driving the decision.

LeeMucklowesCurtains · 06/05/2022 13:46

I’ve got three.

I would love another. But, I have horrible pregnancies- severe sickness which despite all the medications they try leaves me useless and constantly on the edge of dehydration and lots of trips to hospital for drips.

So, I have massive age gaps.

I had my first at 22, last at 40. She’s not even two yet - if I was pregnant now, I’d basically miss 8 months of her life and her life would be crap while I struggled during the day while dh is at work.

At 42, I don’t have the years left to wait until she’s six/seven and able to understand why I am ill and be a little more independent like my middle child was, so she is the last one.

I do realise how lucky I am to have three children and I do feel like another would be pushing that luck anyway.

WithASpider · 06/05/2022 13:48

I knew I was definitely done after 3. I've even told DH if I got pregnant again I would abort. He'd happily have at least one more!

Cameleongirl · 06/05/2022 13:48

I had a fantasy of four children and a dog, but after two, I realized that we'd be too stretched timewise and financially to have any more. We did get a dog. 😁

I'd secretly love to have another child and have wondered about fostering, but we're dealing with elderly, unwell parents atm so it's not the right time (yet).

takingmytimeonmyride · 06/05/2022 13:48

3 & 4 are twins, and I thought I'd definitely feel done after I had them. But I didn't feel finished.

When number 5 was born I looked at him and thought "he's completed the family" and that was it.

I'm peri-menopausal and did have a brief moment about a year ago where I suddenly felt incredibly broody. I think it was just my body letting me know time was running out! I definitely wouldn't want to go back to those baby years. My lot are 14+ and I like sleeping!

Isonthecase · 06/05/2022 13:51
  1. I'm still pregnant and can tell you with absolute certainty I am not going through this again! DH has had the snip and I will get the coil post baby because I am so absolutely certain. I think for us it was mostly feeling like 2 was fine but another would be manageable, I'm absolutely not willing to deal with 4 and the impact on career, finances, time, stress, etc..
FourTeaFallOut · 06/05/2022 13:52

I have three and I felt done and content with the shape of our family then.