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Original poster

How many children in until you knew you were "complete"?

117 replies

anywhichwaytoo · 06/05/2022 13:18

I have 2 happy and beautiful and healthy DC.

But I don't feel "done" or "complete".

Did you have a strong feeling of feeling 100% content when your youngest, or only, child was born?

I wonder if there's something wrong with me?! Will I always yearn for more DC even if I go on to have another one? I've always pictured myself with 3 DC...

OP posts:
NoHeavenNoMore · 06/05/2022 15:44

I feel complete at one

Furrbabymama87 · 06/05/2022 15:45

I was constantly broody until I had 3 kids, then I felt I was complete. Then I went on to meet my husband and wanted a baby with him. To our surprise I fell pregnant in the VERY early stages of our relationship. After he was born I got sterilised and now I don't ever get broody at all, not interested in other people's babies, I feel like that chapter of my life is well and truly over.

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 06/05/2022 15:48

@ShadowPuppets My parents had a boy and a girl and family thought that was them done because they had one of each. Then they had meGrin, so yeah, one of eachWink

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HumunaHey · 06/05/2022 15:51

I am content (and tired enough!) with 2. I would be horrified if I somehow got pregnant again.

DS2 is only 9months but I told DH if I ever lose my change my mind in a few years and want another, to stand firm with a hard "no" even if he secretly wouldn't mind. Fuck being pregnant, giving birth and going through the newborn stage again. And that's coming from someone who had relatively easy pregnancies, straightforward births, and had a pretty easy newborn DC2 (not at all with DC1,mind).

Very glad I was able to power through those stages for DC2 as I was definitely not one and done.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/05/2022 15:56

Not so much a complete feeling but a “fucking hell no more” -sheer dread of raising and paying for more children and giving up even more of my life- love my 2 obviously!

fussychica · 06/05/2022 15:56

Always thought I'd have two but weighed up the options and decided it was one and done. No regrets nearly 30 years on.

Aozora13 · 06/05/2022 15:59

I have 3 DC and I’m 100% done. I found my last pregnancy at 40 tough going - like my body was saying “enough now!” and I don’t feel I have the emotional capacity to raise another DC. Never mind finding somewhere to put them! I wonder if this feeling will wear off over time and I’ll start getting broody again (DC3 is 7mo so we’re still v much in the trenches), but in any case my uterus is closed for business.

JaninaDuszejko · 06/05/2022 16:04

I had 2 very close together and couldn't face another pregnancy for a couple of years but always was considering another. When DC3 was born I absolutely knew I was done and have never changed my mind. I'm in my 50s now so no going back!

mistermagpie · 06/05/2022 16:07

anywhichwaytoo · 06/05/2022 13:18

I have 2 happy and beautiful and healthy DC.

But I don't feel "done" or "complete".

Did you have a strong feeling of feeling 100% content when your youngest, or only, child was born?

I wonder if there's something wrong with me?! Will I always yearn for more DC even if I go on to have another one? I've always pictured myself with 3 DC...

I was the same as you. Exactly the same.

We had DC3 and I am done done done done done!! She's amazing and has been nothing but a positive addition so far (she's 2 now) but you couldn't pay me to have another.

I think I always saw myself with 3 and this was the perfect number for me. DH would actually have another but it's a no from me.

Chikapu · 06/05/2022 16:37

None and done. I feel completely complete just as myself, never needed or wanted children to complete me.

brokengoalposts · 06/05/2022 16:49

I've never felt incomplete, 0-2, had first by accident, 2nd just because I wanted him to have company, stopped there, but have a stepdd too, so 3. I'd have been happy in my life at any number though.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 06/05/2022 16:52

I have 3 DC-all in their 20's now and I will never feel complete. That sounds very dramatic and am way past the baby stage and don't have a womb anymore but I was always perpetually broody. I think some ppl just are.

I had to accept that I was always going to want another baby and that eventually I needed to just enjoy the children I had instead of always aching for another.

Disneyblueeyes · 06/05/2022 17:07

One I think.

Sortilege · 06/05/2022 17:10

I think “feeling done” is a luxury, quite honestly.

For many people, maybe most people, it has to be a head decision.

LethargeMarg · 06/05/2022 17:11

Three and though I'm extremely happy with my three and love them more than anything it is a lot to have three and very hard to keep them all happy
I think you have two to give the kids company and three for yourself as a parent as I don't think kids benefit from being one of three (I'm one of three myself) there is always someone feeling left out

Seeleyboo · 06/05/2022 17:17

5th one. Cured me of any desires of more. She even managed to dry up her grandmas ovaries and not want more grandchildren Shock

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 17:54

Really wanted 4. Still fantasise about an alternative reality where I have 4. However abusive marriage meant I was lucky to have 3 healthy children & get out of marriage - was so fixated on having 4 I remember seriously contemplating could I stay for a few more years & have another 🙄

I know I'm very lucky. But my DSis had her fourth recently (a big surprise) & I was very wishful when I visited her & it felt like a brood around her. (Equally she is beyond shattered, stressed trying to manage newborn & older DC so it's no picnic at all)

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 17:55

I used to say “we are hoping this one will be a Labrador” just to shut them up.

That's brilliant 😂

Libertaire · 06/05/2022 18:05

None. Zero. Zilch. I am very happily childfree by choice.

The idea that a person needs to have children to feel ‘complete’ is silly.

Cameleongirl · 06/05/2022 18:31

@Libertaire I don’t think any of us can speak for the entirety of humanity. Everyone has different needs and what makes one person feel “complete” won’t apply to another.

TheHopefulMum · 06/05/2022 18:34

DH and I have 2 beautiful children, one of each and as they are only 2 years apart we felt sure we were done, however 7 years on we both decided we wanted 1 more and I'm currently 20 weeks with DC3.

If you had asked me at this time last year if I'd ever have more children I would have said no but then suddenly something inside made me feel like I'd like one more and DH agreed.

HelloBarkness · 06/05/2022 18:44

I have one living and have lost two, as well as MCs, so my family will never be "complete" as they will always be missing.

I'd love another living child and we're still TTC, but it's taken its toll, we're older and I'm trying to come to terms with the prospect of having an only child.

robocracker · 06/05/2022 18:47
  1. I had her at 36. I always wanted to be done and dusted by 35. Didn't quite make it! If I'd had her earlier (5 year age gap between her and no2) I'd have had 4. Sort of glad I didn't get to have a 4th now as everything is quite expensive enough thanks!!
Aria2015 · 06/05/2022 18:49

I have 2 dc. I wouldn't say I feel complete per se and I do think about another, but I know I won't. I wasn't sure if I could have a second for a while and it made me feel really sad. I don't get that same sadness when I think of not having a third so I know it's not the same level of yearning. I think I just feel a bit sad I'll never have another baby. I suspect i'd feel that way no matter how many I had though!

meow1989 · 06/05/2022 18:52

One!

Ds is nearly 4 and we love being a trio. Dh and I are 98% sure thats us done and happy 😊