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Original poster

When were YOU a twat?

147 replies

IncompleteSenten · 05/05/2022 19:55

Threads on here are normally tales of other people being arseholes and I wondered how many of us have had times when we've been total wankers.

I'll offer up a parking one.
I live in a tourist area. People are always parking up and fucking off. It's a bugger to park.

I once drew a map to the massive public car park in the middle of the village and stuck it under a car's windscreen wiper after I watched them park up and grab their bikes.

After a few hours I came to my senses and realised I was a wanker but they came back before I could sneak out and remove it.

Twat level - gold.

OP posts:
Original poster
IncompleteSenten · 05/05/2022 21:54

Oh fuck
I'm the only wanker on Mumsnet.

How many unique visitors monthly? And I'm all alone on the twat bench. 🤦

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 05/05/2022 21:58

I sometimes day dream and get in the way of people in supermarket aisles with my trolley. I always apologise when I realise though. (I mostly internet shop now)

Whisp3r · 05/05/2022 21:59

I am a dick all the fucking time. I often lie in bed at night thinking in horror of all the shit I have said and done that day. If there is a way to embarrass myself I will find it.

blackheartsgirl · 05/05/2022 22:17

i have been a bit of a twat all my life, I’m a bit better now, a lot more level headed

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 05/05/2022 22:28

I do this. I once shouted at a lorry driver who’s lorry was on the path. I was sick of people driving along the path to pass people rather than wait until the road is clear. The poor bloke was actually trying to angle his lorry to back into someone’s driveway. 🙈

Rocklady · 05/05/2022 22:34

I don't think you should think you are a twat for simply asserting yourself against numpties!

Sunnysidegold · 06/05/2022 06:33

I sometimes hear my self saying something that I think can be construed as smug or a humble brag. I hate myself for it.

I went to vote yesterday and on the way in I was handed a leaflet by a man. I took it, but when I looked properly realised it was for a party I would never ever vote for. Inside of just putting it in my pocket I handed it back to him with a "no thank you". He was fine about it but I just I was unnecessarily mean.

TheProvincialLady · 06/05/2022 06:38

I’m a twat all the time. I was once trying to get off a bus when a young, shiny, incredibly smiley woman got on without waiting, which blocked the exit. Reader, I huffed and rolled the eyes as I almost barged past her. Her little face crumpled as she realised that the world was no longer the wonderful, welcoming place she thought it was. I felt like I had kicked a puppy.

LisaSimpson73 · 06/05/2022 07:04

I'm a parking twat twice a week when I drop my ds off at school.
The school backs onto a housing estate, the people on the estate HATE us parking there whilst we drop kids off.
I do it anyway.
I don't double park or block people's driveways so my parking is always "legal" but the school keep asking us not to.
The thing is, I do it because there's nowhere else to park and I have no idea how to make the school run/arrival time at my own work juggling act work without parking there so I keep doing it... I'm a twat 🤷🏽‍♀️

User354354 · 06/05/2022 08:11

I was a stupid cunt twat just yesterday.

You know those traffic calming measures where they put random bollards and one car in one direction has right of way?

Well I was sure it was mine, the car in the oppo direction knew it was his. It was a Mexican standoff. I sat there honking my horn until a lovely lady waking politely explained I was wrong.

I was a twat. And embarrassed. Lesson learned. I'm waiting for a photo of my car to be put on the local Facebook page. 😂

squashyhat · 06/05/2022 08:18

It's usually related to driving. I go from 0 to 100mph road rage in a nanosecond and lean on my horn for the slighted perceived misdemeanor. I'm too much of a coward to actually confront anyone though 😳

NightmareSlashDelightful · 06/05/2022 08:23

I had two boyfriends going simultaneously for a while when I was 21 and neither of them knew about the other.

SickAndTiredAgain · 06/05/2022 08:24

Sunnysidegold · 06/05/2022 06:33

I sometimes hear my self saying something that I think can be construed as smug or a humble brag. I hate myself for it.

I went to vote yesterday and on the way in I was handed a leaflet by a man. I took it, but when I looked properly realised it was for a party I would never ever vote for. Inside of just putting it in my pocket I handed it back to him with a "no thank you". He was fine about it but I just I was unnecessarily mean.

Maybe I'm a twat, because I don't think that's mean at all. You politely declined a leaflet.

Clicheinaqashqai · 06/05/2022 08:24

Where we used to live was a 10 minute walk to the highstreet and was all street parking with no restrictions. I used to get really annoyed when I could never find a space by my house because of people parking and walking into town.

Moved to a house with a driveway 10 mins away and now park by our old house every time I need to go in to town.

I justify it to myself as I only park there during work hours so most residents aren't home and I had to put up with it for long enough so now it's my turn to benefit.

willingtolearn · 06/05/2022 08:25

Constantly

Before I had children, I was the 'just control your children it's nor hard' type of person - my own children have pretty much cured me of that.

I was a total 'PFB' parent - mine was the most precious, most perfect, most advanced child in the universe, ever. I could not have been told otherwise.

I'm grumpy, say the wrong thing all the time (and then agonise over it for hours), overreact to things and have lost my temper over the stupidest of things (mostly because I'm worried/scared about something).

In short, I'm human and trying to do better. But mostly I'm a twat.

Clicheinaqashqai · 06/05/2022 08:28

I also had aboslute rage in Tesco at the scan and shop checkout. Didn't take it out on the poor girl checking my shopping but the shopping itself got the brunt of it (a pack of blackberries split open in the process).

That I blame the fact I was with 3yo DS and was 39 weeks pregnant and we had been in tesco for nearly 2 hours. But I was a complete and utter twat.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 06/05/2022 08:30

Unfortunately on Mumsnet it is most of the time - even if it is for nothing more than the length of my posts! Part of that being my inability to either paraphrase or believe that I don't need to explain every one of my thoughts in intricate detail!

SirChenjins · 06/05/2022 08:36

Lots of times...some of it is so bad I don't even like to think about it as my toes curl - and for that reason I'm not going to 'fess up on MN because that's just asking for a doing! If I could go back in time and apologise profusely to the people I've upset I would in a heartbeat.

Rest assured you're definitely not alone though OP.

TrufflesForBreakfast · 06/05/2022 08:38

Two cyclists pulled into our drive and one of them started shouting on his phone. Our sitting room window is right next to the drive and I was trying to catch a few zzzzzs on the sofa after a rough night. So I banged on the window and shouted something and he ignored me so I shouted again. He and his wife and - god - I then noticed they had a child with them in the back carrier - then pulled onto the road to continue phone call.

I came to my senses then and realised they were simply a family who had 'broken down' and they'd pulled onto my drive for a safe place to ask for help. My twatty actions had then made them potentially unsafe. I ran out, apologised profusely and offered them the drive 'back' and asked what I could do to help. They were reasonably gracious in their refusal.

God I felt awful - like such a twatty nimby. I did explain that people use our driveway all the time (they do, esp cyclists and also casual walkers bumping into each other) to pull in for a chat and I didn't realise they actually needed it for safety, but I still felt like an utter c*nt and it haunted me for weeks afterwards!

CanYouHearMeAtTheBack · 06/05/2022 08:55

So many times... having suffered a close bereavement for the first time recently I cringe at how I assumed people would be 'over' their losses at a few weeks. I was a twat. Like a lot of things in life, you have NO IDEA until you face it yourself.

EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter · 06/05/2022 08:59

1987 - 2007.

TopCatsTopHat · 06/05/2022 09:06

I was a twat to my friend at a party. She had been doing what would now be called ghosting me and I was feeling massively rejected. We were at a mutual friends party and she was being friendly, instead of responding I was hostile and so frosty and rude she left the party early. She's a good person so I could have asked what was going on, I would have found out she was dealing with some difficult things and had retreated from the world as it were (not just me). while she did that. I didn't so was a twat instead. We did sort it out and we're still really good friends but I could easily have cost myself that. Definitely a live and learn moment.

HailAdrian · 06/05/2022 09:18

I've snapped at customer advisors on the phone when I'm stressed about whatever the issue is. I really dislike myself for it.

SoManyTshirts · 06/05/2022 09:23

I was in the hall when somebody pushed two identical takeaway menus through my letterbox. I never have takeaways and currently have to use a ‘grabber’ to pick things off the floor.

I chased her round to next door and gave them both back,

VanillaIce1 · 06/05/2022 09:24

It's a daily occurrence for me at this point in my life