Page 5 | When were YOU a twat?

IncompleteSenten · 2022-05-05T18:55:23+00:00

Threads on here are normally tales of other people being arseholes and I wondered how many of us have had times when we've been total wankers. I'll offer up a parking one. I live in a tourist area. People are always parking up and fucking off. It's a bugger to park. I once drew a map to the massive public car park in the middle of the village and stuck it under a car's windscreen wiper after I watched them park up and grab their bikes. After a few hours I came to my senses and realised I was a wanker but they came back before I could sneak out and remove it. Twat level - gold.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 18:00

Musomama1 · 06/05/2022 10:17

Ok this is pretty twatty.

Two months ago at M&S checkout, this hoity-toity couple in gloves and full face masks, sunglasses etc etc blocked the checkout so I couldn't put my basket down, conspicuously socially distancing to protect themselves from the unwashed Covid-ridden rabble, got a total vibe. For some reason it wound me up.

When I could I shoved all my stuff close to their stuff, got close and staged a loud 30 second coughing fit.

They were aghast. I had a laugh then thought, god I'm a twat. DH not amused.

That really is twatty, sorry 😳

Sunnytwobridges · 06/05/2022 20:04

I've been a bit twattish all my life , my DM even used to call me out on it before.😂 I definitely act like a twat when I'm not happy in a relationship...I probably need to apologize to an ex or two. 😂

Neolara · 06/05/2022 20:08

Too many times to bear thinking about.

Musomama1 · 06/05/2022 20:50

@EarringsandLipstick

I agree with you, even I thought, why did I do that? Only confessing on here. 🙈

dubyalass · 06/05/2022 20:53

Another epic twat here. Some of the things I've done make me cringe when I remember them (usually at 3am, per a previous poster).

The being a twat to your mum ones have got to me a bit - my mum died a few years ago and I will regret the way I often behaved towards her when I was younger for the rest of my days, although I know she would forgive me! I also wish I'd stood up for her when my dad was being a twat to her.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 21:02

even I thought, why did I do that? Only confessing on here.

Oh fair enough! And in addition to my admission here, I have absolutely done twatty things that I regretted; I'm polite in general so it's rare but I've certainly been easily exasperated in situations & failed to mask it.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 21:04

dubyalass · 06/05/2022 20:53

Another epic twat here. Some of the things I've done make me cringe when I remember them (usually at 3am, per a previous poster).

The being a twat to your mum ones have got to me a bit - my mum died a few years ago and I will regret the way I often behaved towards her when I was younger for the rest of my days, although I know she would forgive me! I also wish I'd stood up for her when my dad was being a twat to her.

Ah Duby 💔

Try not to feel this way - your mum would have, and did, had loads to love in you, and your twatty moments would only have been a brief eye roll of irritation.

And with your dad, that's a big ask for a child - or even if you mean as an adult, to get involved between parents. 💐

MostTacticalNameChange · 06/05/2022 21:13

The mum ones are getting me too.

When I was a mid teen, we had a talk where she said she would no longer tell me off for swearing (trusting me to be mature enough to use it sparingly). One time she came to my room to say bye as she was off to work till the evening and I said bye then called her back just to say 'piss off'.

She just shut my door and went to work and never mentioned it (which was worse that getting a bollocking). We don't have a great relationship (not caused by that incident!) but I cringe myself inside out every time I (regularly) remember that

I was such a twat.

Helps when dealing with anything hurtful dc say to me, though.

MyBottleOfRibena · 06/05/2022 21:21

Sunnysidegold · 06/05/2022 06:33

I sometimes hear my self saying something that I think can be construed as smug or a humble brag. I hate myself for it.

I went to vote yesterday and on the way in I was handed a leaflet by a man. I took it, but when I looked properly realised it was for a party I would never ever vote for. Inside of just putting it in my pocket I handed it back to him with a "no thank you". He was fine about it but I just I was unnecessarily mean.

I don’t think you were mean, you weren’t interested and politely declined and gave it back.

i was out one day when 2 people from the church of Latter Day Saints asked if I had a moment to talk about Jesus. They looked gobsmacked when I said no and carried on

Mariposista · 06/05/2022 21:32

Musomama1 · 06/05/2022 10:17

Ok this is pretty twatty.

Two months ago at M&S checkout, this hoity-toity couple in gloves and full face masks, sunglasses etc etc blocked the checkout so I couldn't put my basket down, conspicuously socially distancing to protect themselves from the unwashed Covid-ridden rabble, got a total vibe. For some reason it wound me up.

When I could I shoved all my stuff close to their stuff, got close and staged a loud 30 second coughing fit.

They were aghast. I had a laugh then thought, god I'm a twat. DH not amused.

This is hysterical, just cracked me up hahahaha I'd be sorely tempted to do this too if I saw such people (but would probably start laughing half way through and they'd realise I'm taking the mick)

dubyalass · 06/05/2022 22:02

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 21:04

Ah Duby 💔

Try not to feel this way - your mum would have, and did, had loads to love in you, and your twatty moments would only have been a brief eye roll of irritation.

And with your dad, that's a big ask for a child - or even if you mean as an adult, to get involved between parents. 💐

Show quote history

Aw, you've brought a year to my eye! Thank you ❤️

She used to enjoy winding him up and so wasn't beyond reproach herself - he is frequently a pompous, self-righteous twat but I know that he probably has some guilt himself at how he treated her, though he'd never admit it.

I hope I made it up to her in later years when I'd developed some empathy!

Lavenderosemary · 06/05/2022 22:23

Mariposista · 06/05/2022 21:32

This is hysterical, just cracked me up hahahaha I'd be sorely tempted to do this too if I saw such people (but would probably start laughing half way through and they'd realise I'm taking the mick)

Show quote history

Or maybe THEY had covid and were trying to keep clear of other people. We have covid right now and have had to venture out for supplies, masked up, feeling crap and trying to keep people around us as safe as possible....

MorrisZapp · 06/05/2022 22:33

EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter · 06/05/2022 08:59

1987 - 2007.

This.

Iliketeaagain · 06/05/2022 22:34

Around Brexit campaign time, I followed a campaigner down the road and gave him back his leaflet and informed him to take my address of his delivery list as my with my foreign husband and dual-national kids I would never vote for it 😳..

DH suggested I just put it in the recycling bin in future - I was just so sick of the anti-immigration nonsense that Brexit was linked too, it pushed my buttons that day.

MorrisZapp · 06/05/2022 22:44

I'm sorry but this is a humbletwat thread if ever I saw one. You all must know you weren't an actual twat for getting annoyed at bad parkers and for saying no thank you to a political campaigner.

Nobody willing to admit to actual twattery? I never pay back my family's very generous hospitality. They're lovely, I'm a twat. I once called a really nice person fat to her face, and I'm forever getting school dads to do favours for me.

I never order chips, then I eat other people's. My sister in law is truly lovely but I find her grating. I think maybe I envy her a bit.

MorrisZapp · 06/05/2022 22:45

Iliketeaagain · 06/05/2022 22:34

Around Brexit campaign time, I followed a campaigner down the road and gave him back his leaflet and informed him to take my address of his delivery list as my with my foreign husband and dual-national kids I would never vote for it 😳..

DH suggested I just put it in the recycling bin in future - I was just so sick of the anti-immigration nonsense that Brexit was linked too, it pushed my buttons that day.

In what way do you think this makes you a twat? I don't get it.

ThomasinaGallico · 06/05/2022 22:45

HailAdrian · 06/05/2022 09:18

I've snapped at customer advisors on the phone when I'm stressed about whatever the issue is. I really dislike myself for it.

I’m similar especially when under time pressure. Poor customer service in shops, not being able to find this item or that in the supermarket (or finding said item at the back of the top shelf with neither assistant nor Kik-Step in sight), getting a ‘random’ (yeah right) ‘service check’ on self-scan - all these tend to bring out the worst in me.

That said, I suspect I wouldn’t be getting better customer service if I was nicer.

ClaudiusTheGod · 06/05/2022 22:46

BluegrassBlues · 06/05/2022 09:35

Ditto this, specifically 2002-2013 for me

Show quote history

And then you got sober? This is the kind of thing I hear AA members say…

Feckingfeck · 07/05/2022 00:36

willingtolearn · 06/05/2022 08:25

Constantly

Before I had children, I was the 'just control your children it's nor hard' type of person - my own children have pretty much cured me of that.

I was a total 'PFB' parent - mine was the most precious, most perfect, most advanced child in the universe, ever. I could not have been told otherwise.

I'm grumpy, say the wrong thing all the time (and then agonise over it for hours), overreact to things and have lost my temper over the stupidest of things (mostly because I'm worried/scared about something).

In short, I'm human and trying to do better. But mostly I'm a twat.

That last sentence is a bumper sticker waiting to be made! 😊

Feckingfeck · 07/05/2022 01:06

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 09:34

I feel like a twat right now.

Mornings are crazy in my house. I'm a single parent, very busy job, 3 DC who do activities every night (mostly sport). I am going through a horrible divorce, ex is a nightmare, I'm managing 2 disciplinary processes in work. In the morning I exercise, make dinners, fit in housework as it's basically the only time I can manage it all.

However, that's an excuse for my twattery ... I'm always late leaving the house to drop my younger 2 to school (then head to work).

I tend to leave at the last possible moment I can; sometimes I get lucky & we are on time; more often we are late for school not a few minutes. Younger DS is ok about it; older DS really really hates being late. He wants to be early & is full of anxiety about being late.

I feel truly shit about it & how it upsets him. Make earnest plans about how to address it ... then the following morning rolls around & it happens again.

I know from all the MN threads on lateness that there's no excuse. So I'm a twat (find that word strange to use, I'm in Ireland and we don't use it here!)

Sounds like you are very far from a twat. More like a human attempting the super human. You sound like you are doing a grand job 👍🏻 perhaps a time limited schedule would work... aim for DC to be in the car 5 mins before you beed to be then you will be forced to leave by them waiting for you?

medicmummm · 07/05/2022 01:23

Purplehonesty2 · 06/05/2022 11:43

Yesterday on the way home. Single track road

Lady in car drove past her passing place and expected me to reverse back down the hill to find one.

If I ever meet her on the road I'm always the one to reverse and she never waved or even looks at me.

Last night I just stopped the car and refused to move. I pointed to the passing place behind her and sat with my arms folded.

Literally two minutes (or it felt like that) went past until she reversed. I smiled and waved thank you and drove home.

I was a twat but I felt justified!

Definitely justified twattism

She sounds like a CF and a CF is worse than a twat 😉

Hawkins001 · 07/05/2022 01:31

Not so much my behaviour but a friends, we were car sharing for a while and yes my time keeping does need improvements but for context basically we arranged to meet at 7am on average in a week sometimes it's around 7:02 or 7:04 but no later, then we set off, on occasion I'd have my friend telling me off for lateness, yet at other times they themselves could also been late and more than one occasion they were similar late times, yet the person would still tell me off so to speak for my lateness,

THisbackwithavengeance · 07/05/2022 06:52

Feckingfeck · 06/05/2022 11:39

Fed up of the parent and baby parking at the gym being used by people without children... i told one off last week. Its my absolute pet hate.

When I cant get a parent space i park in the middle of 2!

Do you drive an Audi!

EarringsandLipstick · 07/05/2022 09:46

Nobody willing to admit to actual twattery?

Have you not read the thread? Lots of actual twattery here!

EarringsandLipstick · 07/05/2022 09:49

Sounds like you are very far from a twat. More like a human attempting the super human. You sound like you are doing a grand job 👍🏻 perhaps a time limited schedule would work... aim for DC to be in the car 5 mins before you beed to be then you will be forced to leave by them waiting for you?

Aw, thank you Fecking for both your kindness & sensible suggestion.

I actually printed out a timed schedule - for myself! - to hopefully try & keep on time.

The car idea is good too!

Equally I know I need to - somehow - do more tasks in the evening so they are not there in the morning. I find it nearly impossible to leave a messy kitchen or incomplete tasks, mainly cos I know how they build up to chaos!