Page 6 | When were YOU a twat?

IncompleteSenten · 2022-05-05T18:55:23+00:00

Threads on here are normally tales of other people being arseholes and I wondered how many of us have had times when we've been total wankers. I'll offer up a parking one. I live in a tourist area. People are always parking up and fucking off. It's a bugger to park. I once drew a map to the massive public car park in the middle of the village and stuck it under a car's windscreen wiper after I watched them park up and grab their bikes. After a few hours I came to my senses and realised I was a wanker but they came back before I could sneak out and remove it. Twat level - gold.

Soubriquet · 07/05/2022 11:13

Me today at a car boot.

ds was pointing at some random plastic tat and I said “are you sure you really want those ds. It’s your money you are spending and it’s just plastic rubbish”

The poor bloke looked a bit shocked and I quickly tried to say it’s because they will go in his drawer and never played with, and he said it’s ok, I understand but my god did I feel like a twat

Unanananana · 07/05/2022 12:03

Me today! DD came out of her swimming lesson and the only changing room with an open door had someones stuff in it. I told her to push it aside and get dried and dressed. The woman/son whose stuff it was came back from the shower and acted all confused and stroppy. I told her she shouldn't be trying to 'reserve' changing rooms as it was obviously busy. She just glared, so I smiled in her face saying 'its ok, DD won't be long'.

This is just one example. I am a twat and I give zero fucks. I work in customer service so I deal with no end of twats on a daily basis.

moIasses · 07/05/2022 12:08

Unanananana · 07/05/2022 12:03

Me today! DD came out of her swimming lesson and the only changing room with an open door had someones stuff in it. I told her to push it aside and get dried and dressed. The woman/son whose stuff it was came back from the shower and acted all confused and stroppy. I told her she shouldn't be trying to 'reserve' changing rooms as it was obviously busy. She just glared, so I smiled in her face saying 'its ok, DD won't be long'.

This is just one example. I am a twat and I give zero fucks. I work in customer service so I deal with no end of twats on a daily basis.

I think the woman who tried to reserve the changing room, selfishly, was the twat, not you.

I think you were being justly assertive, but that can be labelled as twattery by those on the receiving end. There's probably a fine line between the two actually 😂

Original poster

IncompleteSenten · 07/05/2022 12:26

🤣 humbletwat.

Drawing a map to a car park and putting it under the wipers of a car parked perfectly legally on a public road just because they're parked outside your house and you are sick of tourists parking on your street and fucking off on their bikes or for a hike is legitimately twatish.

OP posts:

CatDogMonkeyPOW · 07/05/2022 14:23

There's a cut through near me that consists of a set of steps with a bend half way so you can't see who's coming from the other end when you start going up or down them. In Covid times I came around the corner and a woman who was coming down started yelling at me to turn around and go back down to give her the two metres. She didn't even give me a chance to respond before she started yelling and then because I was in shock and a bit flustered it took me a few seconds to realise what she meant, which she took to mean that I wasn't going to give her space so she started being really rude about me.

As a result, I then refused to move.

So I was a twat then because I refused to turn back, resulting in her going back up, though she deserved it for being rude to me in the first place instead of just asking politely.

Anyway, whenever I see her now on the street I cough (into my elbow) as I pass her. Totally twatty I know. But I can't get over how rude she was.

sqirrelfriends · 07/05/2022 16:21

Whisp3r · 05/05/2022 21:59

I am a dick all the fucking time. I often lie in bed at night thinking in horror of all the shit I have said and done that day. If there is a way to embarrass myself I will find it.

Omg me too, I'm constantly keeping myself up at night thinking of all the stupid shit I've said.

Yutes · 07/05/2022 16:23

I am constantly a twat. I wish I could list all my twattish ways, but there are just too many to recount.

thaegumathteth · 07/05/2022 16:39

I was kind of seeing a guy who was lovely but more into me than vice Versa. On a night out I sat right next to him a snogged a different guy and he went home upset. I still feel bad about it even though I was 18 and I don't suppose he even remembers who I am!

thaegumathteth · 07/05/2022 16:47

And just to add - I was NOT experienced in having admirers he was just a genuinely nice guy who I was dick to. Not a humble brag!

ginslinger · 07/05/2022 16:52

I got a PhD in twattery involving social distancing during the first Covid Lockdown phase. I then got Gold in the Twattery Olympics over face coverings, use of, supermarkets.

I look back and cringe myself inside out

Notanotherwindow · 07/05/2022 17:24

I didnt like one of my managers. He thought he was gods gift to women and was really rude to me so I took our little access machine which he is shit at manoeuvring and reversed it in between a broken down fork lift and the racking. Had to elevate it a little to really wedge it in.

Then I fucked off home. An evening of traipsing up and down the ladders did not improve his disposition but I was downright chirpy when I found it exactly where I left it and charged for once. I made sure to climb in and drive off in it right in front of him with a cheery Good Morning.

eastegg · 14/05/2022 23:12

Just found this thread!

I was walking down our road, DS running ahead of me, when a car came round the corner too fast towards us. I shook my head at the car with an expression of disdain , then realised it was my neighbours who we get on well with. Felt a right dick. I tried to pass it off as annoyance at my child for running off, but it didn’t work and makes me even more of a dick.

I also sometimes say ‘you’re welcome’ when I let people pass and they don’t say thank you. Arse.

Inklingpot · 14/05/2022 23:16

I’m glad an actual twat found this thread because it was quickly becoming ‘someone else behaved badly and I responded in kind’ which is not really the same thing as you being a twat for no reason.

eastegg · 14/05/2022 23:30

Ooh are you calling me an actual twat, inkling? Not sure how I feel about that! On the one hand it’s why I’m on the thread, on the other, I think I probably fit more into your second category?

Inklingpot · 14/05/2022 23:34

eastegg · 14/05/2022 23:30

Ooh are you calling me an actual twat, inkling? Not sure how I feel about that! On the one hand it’s why I’m on the thread, on the other, I think I probably fit more into your second category?

No, I’m not calling you a twat.

mackthepony · 15/05/2022 01:53

That Christmas song, Santa Baby? There a line in it, slip a sable under the tree, for me..... Croooon.

We were at work and this woman said, sable?? And I was like, duh, yeah, a fur, don't you know that?

I was really mean and have no clue why.

Octopup · 15/05/2022 01:58

I talk too much and over-explain. I do it because I like it when people are detailed with me, but I think that is a ‘me’ thing. If I was a man I’d be accused of mansplaining. As a woman I guess I am just (unintentionally) patronising.

Norgie · 15/05/2022 08:56

A good few years ago, a close family member died unexpectedly.
The next morning while I was still upset, a Jehovah witness knocked on my door. I opened the door not knowing who it was and the older of the two ladies, cheerfully said ' good morning, we are here to spread the love of God'
I responded by screaming ' oh fuck off, just fuck off with your shit ' and slammed the door in their shocked faces.
All these years later, I still cringe at my reaction to those two ladies.

lezzlie · 21/05/2022 16:50

Twattery is nothing, that's just an aspiration to be a cunt.
I've reached that pinnacle just by making this comment.

AngelinaFangelina · 21/05/2022 17:41

I look back and cringe on a lot of twatty things I've done. Usually unintentionally, but I've done my fair share of ultra twat things as well.
Went camping with the inlaws and DH cousins etc when I was about 19. I was in a foul mood, I can't remember why, but I don't imagine it was anything serious or devastating, just being a moody teen.
The family suggested we play football. I really didn't want to, but they all jollied me along until I gave in. I remember purposefully booting the ball as hard as possible into nearby thorny undergrowth so we couldn't play anymore. It must have been obvious it on purpose as well. It wasn't retrievable. I think about it regularly and cringe. What an absolute bitch.

SarahAndQuack · 21/05/2022 19:00

I'm a car twat. I used to live somewhere with lots of cyclists and lots and lots of one-way streets. They would merrily cycle the wrong way down the one way, expecting me to slow down and let them pass safely, and I would speed up and honk. They were generally students, quite often not from the UK, and they would be innocently bewildered.

Also, sometimes when I was feeling ratty, I drove down the one-way streets in the hope of meeting cyclists.

DuesToTheDirt · 21/05/2022 20:08

In a busy Pret the other day, lots of people were queueing and I needed to between people in the queues to get to the sandwiches. I said, "Excuse me," and then pushed my way between a couple of people without really checking if they'd moved. I must have banged one of them with my rucksack as I heard a rather outraged voice say, "Er, excuse me!" as I barged through. I replied, "I did say, 'Excuse me!'" and carried on to the sandwich display.

5 min later (too late to find her and apologise as I would have liked), I thought, Why did I do that? Why did I barge through and then refuse to apologise? I could have been gracious and I wasn't. Maybe I'm just not a very nice person when it comes down to it.