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Original poster

When were YOU a twat?

147 replies

IncompleteSenten · 05/05/2022 19:55

Threads on here are normally tales of other people being arseholes and I wondered how many of us have had times when we've been total wankers.

I'll offer up a parking one.
I live in a tourist area. People are always parking up and fucking off. It's a bugger to park.

I once drew a map to the massive public car park in the middle of the village and stuck it under a car's windscreen wiper after I watched them park up and grab their bikes.

After a few hours I came to my senses and realised I was a wanker but they came back before I could sneak out and remove it.

Twat level - gold.

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 06/05/2022 09:25

I've been guilty on a couple of occasions of looking at my phone while crossing the road and nearly getting run over. The drivers probably thought I was a twat of the highest order and rightly so.

blobby10 · 06/05/2022 09:27

I was a massively entitled spoiled brat during my teens, twenties and thirties and cringe when I think back at some of the things I did and said. thankfully life has now taught me otherwise and I hope that I'm a nicer person for it !

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2022 09:34

I feel like a twat right now.

Mornings are crazy in my house. I'm a single parent, very busy job, 3 DC who do activities every night (mostly sport). I am going through a horrible divorce, ex is a nightmare, I'm managing 2 disciplinary processes in work. In the morning I exercise, make dinners, fit in housework as it's basically the only time I can manage it all.

However, that's an excuse for my twattery ... I'm always late leaving the house to drop my younger 2 to school (then head to work).

I tend to leave at the last possible moment I can; sometimes I get lucky & we are on time; more often we are late for school not a few minutes. Younger DS is ok about it; older DS really really hates being late. He wants to be early & is full of anxiety about being late.

I feel truly shit about it & how it upsets him. Make earnest plans about how to address it ... then the following morning rolls around & it happens again.

I know from all the MN threads on lateness that there's no excuse. So I'm a twat (find that word strange to use, I'm in Ireland and we don't use it here!)

breakdown19 · 06/05/2022 09:35

HailAdrian · 06/05/2022 09:18

I've snapped at customer advisors on the phone when I'm stressed about whatever the issue is. I really dislike myself for it.

I've done this
And then I have to say I am sorry I know you are just doing your job but I hope you can hear how annoying this cock uo is for me

BluegrassBlues · 06/05/2022 09:35

EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter · 06/05/2022 08:59

1987 - 2007.

Ditto this, specifically 2002-2013 for me Blush

ScrambledSmegs · 06/05/2022 09:40

I think the question should be when haven't I been a twat?

Fkingfnaaarr · 06/05/2022 09:49

I'm a minor league twat on the regular but for some reason, when it comes to driving I'm like the European Champion of twattery.

I just can't seem to let it go, so I'll get more and more het up then do champion level twattery.

Like the poor person tail gating me in their Audi SUV coming up the M6. I was overtaking doing a decent lick (I do twat level 6 lane discipline like it's going to change the middle lane nutters' behaviour), and she seemed to think I should go faster than 80 or just not exist so I slowed right down "for safety" and she couldn't undertake because she was blocked in. I should have just ignored her, but I didn't. She got the message after five minutes but I kick myself - stupid, dangerous and just down right twatty.

When they go low, we go twatty.

MajesticallyAwkward · 06/05/2022 09:50

2001-2007.... horrible, horrible teen years of trying to find an identity (emo, goth, punk, grunge the cringe is real), I was a complete knob. Que flashback to the 2 months spent dressed like Christina Aguilera in the dirty video😳

adult twattishness.... Urgh so much. DH pulled me up yesterday about being an insensitive dick and not offering emotional support when he's stressed (in my defence though, he was being a drama llama and it's been ~a week~)

SockFluffInTheBath · 06/05/2022 09:50

IncompleteSenten · 05/05/2022 21:54

Oh fuck
I'm the only wanker on Mumsnet.

How many unique visitors monthly? And I'm all alone on the twat bench. 🤦

No, you’re not alone, budge up 😁

Im frequently inclined to be a twat but I try to rein myself in, it’s usually not worth the ongoing headspace it needs.

lurkingfromhome · 06/05/2022 09:51

After a spell of receiving loads of clothing etc catalogues through the letterbox that I neither wanted nor had requested, I was so disproportionately raging that I took to typing up a long ranty message each time, printing it out and enclosing it in said catalogue which I then returned to the company. I must have sounded insane.

One gem included an unsolicited babywear catalogue, which I ranted for a full page about, along the lines of how inappropriate it was to send this out unrequested when they had no idea of the recipient's circumstances with regard to children. I actually stand by my opinion, but I was a rude, sweary and unpleasant twat about it when a "please remove me from your mailing list that I never asked to be on" would have done the job.

Inklingpot · 06/05/2022 09:52

I certainly have my moments of twattery. I once deliberately closed a gate in front of an infuriated driver rather than hold it open for him because I felt he’d purposely tailgated me. I had a brief moment of satisfaction at his angryface then spent the next two hours being ashamed of my twattishness.

carefullycourageous · 06/05/2022 09:53

I'm often annoying I think!

I can be grumpy, argumentative and forgetful. Also hypocritical. Isn't everyone a twat really? I measure myself against the PM which makes me angelic.

My worst trait is getting distracted during phone calls and zoning out. I am working hard to stop doing that as it is rude.

Inklingpot · 06/05/2022 09:56

Though one example of my twattishness (which actually I suspect tips over the line into outright cuntery) was when I was about 15 and my mum brought me a cup of tea in bed. I shouted at her because I didn’t want milk in it and she just silently walked out of my room with the tea. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Thejoyfulstar · 06/05/2022 10:04

@Inklingpot similar. I remember being about 17, right after my mum bought me new clothes, walking along the shopping centre and me telling her boring she was. I immediately regretted it but didn't say anything and we walked along in silence. Cringe.

Musomama1 · 06/05/2022 10:17

Ok this is pretty twatty.

Two months ago at M&S checkout, this hoity-toity couple in gloves and full face masks, sunglasses etc etc blocked the checkout so I couldn't put my basket down, conspicuously socially distancing to protect themselves from the unwashed Covid-ridden rabble, got a total vibe. For some reason it wound me up.

When I could I shoved all my stuff close to their stuff, got close and staged a loud 30 second coughing fit.

They were aghast. I had a laugh then thought, god I'm a twat. DH not amused.

Sux2buthen · 06/05/2022 10:18

I did something kind a while ago and really wanted to tell people because nobody knew and felt like a twat looking for 'likes' so I didn't lol

purpleboy · 06/05/2022 10:24

TheLadyofShalott1 · 06/05/2022 08:30

Unfortunately on Mumsnet it is most of the time - even if it is for nothing more than the length of my posts! Part of that being my inability to either paraphrase or believe that I don't need to explain every one of my thoughts in intricate detail!

Oh god I hear you. I feel like I'm always being pulled up on here because of my posts where obviously I have all the context in my head and also don't think every minute detail or thought needs explaining, because it seems pretty obvious, but apparently some do. Does that make me the twatGrin

Enidcat5 · 06/05/2022 10:31

I still feel terrible about this one. Walked into a supermarket toilet, there was a used nappy on the floor. I didn't realise anyone else was in the toilets and said loudly to myself 'ugh that's disgusting, why can't people bloody clean up after themselves!'.

Voice behind me said 'its an adult nappy, there's nowhere else to change'. At that point I saw the lady in the next cubicle with her carer (who'd spoken), who had obviously just had to change the poor woman on the cubicle floor due to lack of adult changing facilities available.

Absolutely disgraceful and shameful that this has to happen and I have never been so bloody ashamed of myself. I apologised profusely but I don't think it made a difference to how I made them feel that day and I am now very careful about making snap judgements.

Kat1953 · 06/05/2022 10:35

Was once horribly rude to someone who knocked on my door and asked if my car was the blue one. A nightmare neighbour had recently taken to complaining about my parking and I went on the defensive.
Turned out Nice Neighbour was just letting me know I'd left my lights on.
Before I could apologise she'd gone and I didn't know where to, took me months to find her. She was so gracious about my overdue apology when I did, but I still feel bad.

ArabeI · 06/05/2022 10:35

I corrected the grammar/spelling on a patronising, instructional sign, on a fridge, in a waiting area for my child's hobby. I had looked at it for well over a year before doing this!

This will out me to those who know!

LaburnumAlpine · 06/05/2022 10:37

I could write a feckin book about my spectacular twattisms.
I have natural talent and unbelievable drive to be a twat on daily basis. I wish I had such drive elsewhere where it could be a force for good.
I repent and try to become a naice person.

the80sweregreat · 06/05/2022 10:39

I'd been out busy morning in town and I was really hungry it had been ages since breakfast , Dh suggested a local cafe to eat in but the lady came to the door and said sorry there would be a 20 minute wait for tables as they were very busy , I just said ' no' and turned away ! Dh was shocked as I'm not normally so abrupt to any staff and it wasn't her fault at all ! I felt awful for ages, but I was really hungry ( no defense really!) he said sorry to her and had a go at me.
I felt really bad about it.
I done many stupid things in the past too , I often ruminate on them at 3am , I often wish I'd been a lot less scatty in my youth :(
I've been an idiot too often to mention at times.

tiredanddangerous · 06/05/2022 10:48

fairly frequently lately. I blame perimenopause. There is a very fine line between being assertive and being a twat and I fear I'm often not on the right side of it.

the80sweregreat · 06/05/2022 10:54

No, I know that blaming peri or the menopause isn't really a defense ( in my case ) but I think that my ability to not put up with things is diminished a lot lately ; I am a little bit more assertive , but I understand it might come across as more aggressive and that isn't good either I think. Especially as I wasn't that way before.

JudyGemstone · 06/05/2022 10:56

I can be a twat about policing motorway lane discipline. If some idiot is pootling along in the middle lane I’ll flash them or undertake overtake pointedly while glaring.

I also have an unfortunate belief system about rules not necessarily applying to me, and if I can get away with doing something not technically ‘allowed’ then I will.

I also taught my kids that ‘it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission’ - funnily enough thats bitten me on the arse a few times now! Only myself to blame.